Friend issue about being realistic with wls

[teresa4444 6]

I'm 8.5 yrs out from Lapband surgery, had a small slip, lost my excess weight, working on a 25lb regain - overall good. My friend wanted my advice regarding surgeries etc, so I gave her the realistic version. It's a tool, life will not magically be perfect, excess skin, it's hard work but worth it.

She's excited, all is good then she goes to my clinics wls seminar and questions what we've discussed since the doctor said:

-wls is a fix -many people don't have excess skin --insurances routinely pay for skin removal, if it happens -Gastric sleeve patients can eat any foods. -more insurances are covering wls (in my state employers can exclude, & all marketplace plans exclude)

So now I'm a negative Nancy. I told her to check bariatric pal for info, I guess I leave it at that? Any advice?

[Introversion 1,876]

8 hours ago, teresa4444 said:

So now I'm a negative Nancy. I told her to check bariatric pal for info, I guess I leave it at that? Any advice?

Unfortunately, the only way some individuals learn is by putting their hands into the fire and being burned. Some would say that the best way to learn is through experience.

The informal schools such as 'Baptism by Fire' and 'The School of Hard Knocks' are the some of the most effective educational institutions for the more stubborn people among us.

In other words, she'll learn the hard way. I wouldn't expend any further time and energy advising someone who thinks she knows it all and won't seriously consider the advice.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

If your friend isn't smart enough to know the Dr is trying to sell her something you can't really help her.

If she was really your friend she would know you have her best interests at heart.

Also this Dr is slick as he'll. He left out the reason that most people don't have excess skin is they never lose to a healthy weight. If people hit the average WLS success of 50% of excess weight they won't have loose skin.

It sucks someone is out here setting unrealistic expectations like that but from reading forums it seems more typical than we want to believe.

Just be kind and helpful where you can and let her draw her conclusions.

[teresa4444 6]

Thanks for the responses! She called me today and I believe some of the things I said are sinking in, plus her ins requires a 6 month diet. She mentioned that having surgery a few weeks before a company party that involves travel & centers around food/drinking would be difficult. It brought me back to the days of scouring a restaurants menu online to determine what I would order.

[naturegirl 320]

There are unfortunately a lot of people with unrealistic views of how WLS will work. We see it all the time on the basics pages, and on shows like My 600 lb Life. People also have to understand that each person is going to have a unique experience. That one insurance provider is different from another and even with the same provider each plan is different. Our bodies are different too, as one person might have a lot of excess skin while the other finds that theirs shrinks back.

The best that you can do is to tell her about your experience and what you have learned about others. This can prepare her for a variety of situations, ie: 6 months supervised dieting vs. none required. I know that my parents assumed that my mom would be approved quickly based on her weight and would not have to complete the 6 month diet as I did not. But I pointed out that we have different insurance providers as well as I had proof of participating in weight watchers, and physical fitness from running local races (race times posted).

I appreciate the fact that my WLS seminar was very blunt and truthful about what to expect and that you had to put in the effort for both approval and for the tool to be effective. There were plenty of people there who had assumed it would be quick to surgery date, immediate weight loss, and no need to change habits (based off their questions and over heard conversations).

[Stella S 613]

It is a business This journey has been something. Advice can be difficult - I tend to speak from what I know which is my journey. Hugs for you as your friends explores this road