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My 30 year love affair with food



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Just when did this love affair with food begin? Well I wasn't overweight when I was growing up. After getting married at 17 and having 4 c-sections in the years to come I just never got back to my pre baby weight along with the stress of a failed marriage and the challenges of children, I turned to the love of my life .....food...glorious food. It comforted me at bad times, lonely times, bored times, as well as good times. Food was my center of any celebration as well. Any social event that I had or went to, food was always my plus one. It never turned me down or disappointed me. Fast forward 100 pounds later and 60 years old I needed a change.

I suffer from psoriatic arthritis, sleep apnea, high blood pressure and being on lots of various prescriptions. Many red flags were being raised right in front of my face. After talking to my supportive and loving husband of almost 27 years we began checking out bariatric sleeve surgery for me. I told him I wouldn't even consider surgery without his blessing. After attending a class I could finally see a glimmer of hope for me. Perhaps I could live out the rest of my life in better health. It took me six months of various classes and doctor appointments to get qualified for insurance coverage. As of July 27th 2016 I am now the proud owner of a brand new sleeve surgery. The emotions and stress leading up to this was somewhat overwhelming at times. There were nights and days of crying not knowing if I was making the right decision or not. Without the love and support of my wonderful husband, I am not sure I could have done it. He was supportive no matter what decision I would have came to. I can now see a life of better health and peace of mind. I feel the whole journey up to the surgery has been a love affair with food. I was always the aggressor, having to search the food out...it never magically appeared to me. It was an abusive relationship. I know there are 2 sides to every relationship. I made the mistake of abusing my love for food. I didn't choose wisely. I made poor choices. Now that the surgery is done, I had to end this unhealthy affair we had. I know I can't totally get "my then love" out of my life completely because I need "it" to survive. It had to change with new standards. It will no longer be a love affair. We will have to remain "just friends". Friends that don't abuse, and that make better choices so it isn't an easy road but I have been given the tools to succeed. I will try to remain positive throughout my journey. I know the relapse of going back to my bad choices will always be there. I have to be mindful of my actions and choices to not slip back to previous unhealthy behaviors. One day at a time. I am not perfect and you never forget a love that provided pleasure. I will push through the tough days, climb back on the wagon on my weak days, and remember the journey that has gotten me to this point. Breakups are never easy but sometimes necessary to pursue happiness and health. It has been nine months since surgery and I went from 264 pounds at 5 ft 2 inches to 175 pounds. I live in Boise Idaho and Dr. James Valentine was my surgeon. Best decision that I have ever made. Off most of my prescription drugs except thyroid and arthritis meds. Life is truly a gift and I feel like I have been given a second chance. I am blessed. This journey might not be for everyone ....but if it is for you , or not, I wish all of you health and happiness!!!!!

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I couldn't have said it better!! Congratulations on your success!

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Why can we only give ONE thumbs up??


RNY 14 April 2017
SW: 295 lb / 134 kg
GW: 187 lb / 85 kg (I'll see when I get there)

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You will do awesome. I am there for you! Believe and it will happen!

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    • Doughgurl

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      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

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      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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