Why do I do it to myself?

[anonemouse 1]

This is a spin-off of the accidentally deleted thread "Imposters piss me off."

Every so often, I go over to OH, even though I hate it, just to see if anything useful has been posted. Afterwards, I mentally slap myself. Every. Single. Time. It's a damn good thing that I had my account there deleted. If I hadn't, I probably would have been banned by now. Either I read a post by SandyR (I try to avoid them, but some sneak through when I'm not expecting it) that makes me want to slap her and shake the people that actually listen to her or I run across a thread containing an online WWIII over some stupid thing. (Today it was one where someone had the audacity [gasp!] to say that they didn't feel a lot of sympathy for people who buy something they really can't afford, default on their loans, and subsequently have their possessions repo'd - apparently that didn't go over well.) :speechles

Every time I go over there, I wonder why I did. But I guess I continue to think that there might be some redeeming feature to the forum (every so often, a decent bit of advice gets posted). :phanvan

[Jachut 487]

I had a really similar thing going on with a formal called Alternative Baby when Eliza was small.

I've always been interested in attachment parenting, was a cloth diaper user, breast feeding advocate etc. I'm also interested in alternative educational philosophies such as Steiner, Montessori etc. So I had an "interest" in that kind of a forum.

Trouble is I'm not a hairy armpitted militant hater of everything mainstream. I dont abuse people for bottlefeeding or using disposables or daring to actually reprimand and discipline their children. I dont think everyone who sends their kids to mainstream schools is stupid and deluded.

So I would log on hoping for useful information, interesting discussion and even lively debate. And I would see yet another post for abusing someone that dared to sigh that she would be glad when school holidays are over, like she doesnt lover her kids, is a bad parent etc. Or someone that DARED to let her baby cry for more than 2 seconds whilst she was paying at the cash register, but who'd be surprised since she was selfish enough to use a stroller rather than a baby sling?

It used to shit me right up the wall and over the other side. In the end I'd be taking pot shots at these people and by the end of my time there, I'd log on simply to get into a fight, lol, the best one ever was over welfare. Having grown up white middle class and fairly priviledged, and being fairly right wing myself, that one was interesting to say the least.

But it wasnt satisfying, it was rather sad and very frustrating and I gave it up in the end. I just decided I had nothing in common with those people, despite sharing some common beliefs about parenting, that was where it ended and there was nothing to be gained by hanging around them. They had a right to be what they were just as I do.

[Chelle B 0]

Hi Lauren, I know the feeling - I do that when I go to another forum (not OH or here) for different reasons. But I think it is all about timing. I spent a lot of time in OH, and just logged on to catch up since I was in a conference all day. I scanned through looking for friends posts, or people who are asking for help. Of course now you have me interested and I need to go find the post to see who you are talking about. And I should be working instead of playing right now! Gotta love our addictions!

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I still think it goes back to social skills. A lot of fat folks isolate themselves and they never really learn to get along well with others.

If you ask some of the "followers" on OH why they behave as they do a few will tell come right out and tell you that this is the first time they have ever had friends and if they don't go along with the "leaders" they won't have friends anymore.

I think they have been picked on for so long that it's almost a "pay-back" to pick on others. It's that cheer leader mentality from high school. You do as you are told, think as you are told, believe as you are told, and you'll be fine. Go against the group and you'll be toast. But the thing those folks just don't understand is that at 40 y/o and 300#, the cheerleader effect is gone, it's just plain not there. They are nothing individually but as a group they believe they have power. The only power they have it to demean fat folks.

And OH is supposed to be a support board for fat folks? Hardly. It's a place where the fat social misfits gather and attempt a pack mentality. LBT is so much better in so many ways. All the people that gag when reading OH want to come over here. So it works out quite well. We get the normals and they get the weirdos.

[Chelle B 0]

Uh oh. I freely admit to being weird, but I'd rather not be thought of as a weirdo! I still spend most of my time there, and I'm really social in the real world, and I hate the herd mentality..... So if I spend time in both boards, then I am what???? Oh I know. I am me. No more and no less.

So am I still welcomed here if I play over there too?

[Chelle B 0]

And CONGRATS on the weight loss - you have done a fantastic job!

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Uh oh. I freely admit to being weird, but I'd rather not be thought of as a weirdo! I still spend most of my time there, and I'm really social in the real world, and I hate the herd mentality..... So if I spend time in both boards, then I am what???? Oh I know. I am me. No more and no less.

So am I still welcomed here if I play over there too?

Of course, everyone is welcome over here. But one thing we have noticed over time is that often when someone from OH comes over here they bring their drama with them and that doesn't fly over here well at all. The mods don't put up with it and most of all, the members don't put up with it. Many came here to avoid the OH drama and teasing.

There is a great deal of support and information here, but no drama. If we disagree we keep it here in R&R, nobody protects Sandy over here, truth is a big factor on LBT.

The biggest issue I have noticed is that people are free to disagree around here. If Protein shakes become a topic people are not shit piled for admitting they drink them. Over HERE we recognize that there are no hard and fast rules for bandsters, most here tend to see them as guidelines and if what they are doing is working, they are healthy, they are getting nutrition in, their weight loss is not too fast or too slow... the rules can go screw themselves. People are unique and individual and what works for one isn't going to work for another. That's not how it is on OH. The mere topic of Protein Shakes brings about heated disagreements and verbal fights. Over here we tend to feel differently, we agree with our docs and not an unlicensed nurse that pretends she is something she isn't.

There are a lot of differences here vs. there. Some like the belittling and bickering, they tend to stick with OH. Some like the support and camaraderie and they like LBT. It's a personal choice.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

This is a spin-off of the accidentally deleted thread "Imposters piss me off."

. :phanvan

How did that thread get deleted? I liked that thread!

I say Thank God for Protein shakes. After another horrible pb episode, I've been on them all day today and will be all day tomorrow.

Even if I hadn't pbed, I happen to like the way they taste, and I don't have to worry about the size of my bites or how much I chew. They are a Godsend.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

And CONGRATS on the weight loss - you have done a fantastic job!

Thank you! Much appreciated!

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

How did that thread get deleted? I liked that thread!

I say Thank God for Protein shakes. After another horrible pb episode, I've been on them all day today and will be all day tomorrow.

Even if I hadn't pbed, I happen to like the way they taste, and I don't have to worry about the size of my bites or how much I chew. They are a Godsend.

The last thread was deleted on accident. It wasn't intentional. We can easily recreate it if need be.

[faithmd 14]

How did that thread get deleted? I liked that thread!

...

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f80/my-bad-apologies-i-hate-imposters-users-42253/

[Chelle B 0]

Of course, everyone is welcome over here. But one thing we have noticed over time is that often when someone from OH comes over here they bring their drama with them and that doesn't fly over here well at all. The mods don't put up with it and most of all, the members don't put up with it. Many came here to avoid the OH drama and teasing.

There is a great deal of support and information here, but no drama. If we disagree we keep it here in R&R, nobody protects Sandy over here, truth is a big factor on LBT.

The biggest issue I have noticed is that people are free to disagree around here. If Protein shakes become a topic people are not shit piled for admitting they drink them. Over HERE we recognize that there are no hard and fast rules for bandsters, most here tend to see them as guidelines and if what they are doing is working, they are healthy, they are getting nutrition in, their weight loss is not too fast or too slow... the rules can go screw themselves. People are unique and individual and what works for one isn't going to work for another. That's not how it is on OH. The mere topic of Protein Shakes brings about heated disagreements and verbal fights. Over here we tend to feel differently, we agree with our docs and not an unlicensed nurse that pretends she is something she isn't.

There are a lot of differences here vs. there. Some like the belittling and bickering, they tend to stick with OH. Some like the support and camaraderie and they like LBT. It's a personal choice.

OUCH! That really felt like a spanking. :faint:

OH is a different place now than it was before - much more open and so many new people. I see lots of great people in both places......

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

OUCH! That really felt like a spanking. :faint:

OH is a different place now than it was before - much more open and so many new people. I see lots of great people in both places......

Nope, not a spanking at all. Just the truth.

I don't see any difference in OH today vs. six months ago. I think it is the same, if not worse in many ways.

To each his own. No single forum will please everyone, you have to go where it serves you best.

[faithmd 14]

Not knowing any of the "drama" there (never been an OH user), I have to be impartial and say I didn't read that as a spanking, but we are all different.

I do know that since I've been here I have read a lot of posts by people who have felt slighted there or have had problems there. Not that LBT is Utopia, either, but I do know that our mods seem to be fair and not heavy-handed and try to keep peace as best they can. We try to keep ourselves in check.

Perhaps what WASaBB wrote was a result of some history she has experienced there or what she's read in the past.

Some forums are a good fit, some are not, in any case, :welcomeB: to LBT, Chelle B. We hope you will like it as much as you like OH. I like it better because I can't stand the lack of any organization in the forum over there. It's just all posts listed chronologically. Tough to follow.

[cindyluhu 0]

Wasabubblebut,

Your weight loss is fantastic, you're my idle! I love readying your posts!!

By the way, sorry for the ignorance but what is OH. I know it's obviously a sight, like LBT, but also for weight loss?

Thanks

Cindy