Giving Up

circa · October 2, 2007

I'm leaning toward not having the surgery done. Not because I don't want it, but because I don't have any support. I can't even get my patient advocate to return my calls or emails and my insurance company won't talk to me. I'm not sure where to go or what to do next. I guess I'll just move on with my life - or what I have of it.

Betsyjane · October 2, 2007

I understand. My weight alone made me feel powerless and out of energy, so I gave up and gave in! I don't have any way to convey this to you so you can feel it, but the energy and esteem come back as the weight drops. It's worth all the energy you can muster. If you have some left, think of it this way.... Assume that the ONly person this will be important to is you...not the insurance company or anyone else. Assume that you will have to persist, prod, and mildly harrass everyone every step of the way. If that turns out not to be true, that's nice....but assume each step will require your stamina and persistence. When it gets frustrating, come to this site and bitch, but then get back to it. If someone doesn't return your call, expect to have to call 5 times a day, or ask to speak with someone who can help, or a person's supervisor. If an insurance company won't talk to you and you try multiple avenues, ask your employer to get involved...the one who pays the bills to the insurance company, and find out why they won't talk to you. Whatever it takes. However long it takes. Whatever the outcome, you'll be proud of yourself.

bbjerseygirl · October 2, 2007

You made a brave decision to get this surgery, do not look to others for your decision. Getting the band process rolling and approved is a long and hard process and getting support from every one is difficult. It can be a lonely journey but it is a journey you must take to better your health and life. As far as the medical prof and insurance companies, they are overwhelmed with the popularity of this surgery and they aren't properly staffed to do it all. Call them and recall them, don't just sit and wait for them. Be your own advocate, researcher, and supporter if you have to be, but stand by your decision, you made that alone. You can do this with help or without. Insurance companies really aren't allowed to give information because then it is considered directing your care, meaning telling you how to fraud the system. They aren't even suppose to tell you the guidelines, you have to read your policy. As far as the patient advocate, she/he isn't obviously doing their job so they wouldn't be a great support person anyway. There are plenty of people on this site who are willing to email, private message and call you to help you with questions, support, or just to chat. Keep it up and don't give up now. Think of all the new people you will be able to meet once you are out and about doing more things with your new healthier bod! Good Luck

Boo Boo Kitty · October 2, 2007

I'm leaning toward not having the surgery done. Not because I don't want it, but because I don't have any support. I can't even get my patient advocate to return my calls or emails and my insurance company won't talk to me. I'm not sure where to go or what to do next. I guess I'll just move on with my life - or what I have of it.

I disagree with you! You CAN do this, even if you have no support. But I for 1, will stand up and tell you that I WILL support you. I don't even know you, but I was you. No one wanted me to do it, they all are still waiting for me to fail. NOT gonna happen!

Just like you can not let others take this away from you. Nothing worth fighting for is ever easy. We all went through our own sorts of hell to get our bands, I would do anything for mine!

Please don't give up--you can do this!

jmarruda · October 3, 2007

I disagree with you! You CAN do this, even if you have no support. But I for 1, will stand up and tell you that I WILL support you. I don't even know you, but I was you. No one wanted me to do it, they all are still waiting for me to fail. NOT gonna happen!
Just like you can not let others take this away from you. Nothing worth fighting for is ever easy. We all went through our own sorts of hell to get our bands, I would do anything for mine!

Please don't give up--you can do this!

Boo Boo is right. Take her advice. Not only does she know, but we all know because we have all been there before.

If nobody is supportive of you, come here. Everyone is supportive here!

sweetspot021 · October 3, 2007

Circa,

PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!!!! Just because a couple of people won't take time out to help you does not mean you give up. Don't let that be the crutch to keep you from your goals. If they don't answer your calls, go over their heads. E-mail, call, stop by the office... BE A MAJOR PAIN IN THE ASS! This is for your health and happiness, I don't know your situation but you have SUPPORT HERE. We have all been through the emotions, expierienced the ups and downs and went down the road chosen for us. I am pretty sure I can speak for a lot of us when I say WE ARE HERE FOR YOU, with or without the band. No one should ever feel alone, and you are no exception. HUGS

DEE DEE

KarenG. · October 3, 2007

You have to be annoying on the phone. I think that all of these offices are bombarded with potential patients - I was proactive (read: a pain in the a$$) and could tell that the staff was annoyed with me and I felt really bad because I thought that it wasn't the greatest way to start a relationship with the office but I figured it is my life and my health and my right. I am saying persistent not rude.

Keep going!

WASaBubbleButt · October 3, 2007

If you want it bad enough, you'll do anything it takes.

I should probably be nicer and pat your head but you know what? I'm not going to do that. Being banded is hard, it's much harder than what you are dealing with today.

I think there is a difference between sheer frustration and giving up. You need to sit down and seriously think about which you really are. I have a hunch you are frustrated vs. feeling as though it's time to give up. Then you need to seriously consider how bad you want healthy.

No support system? Sorry, such is life for some of us. I didn't even tell my HUSBAND when I was banded. Obviously, he figured it out. I wasn't about to let anything get in my way and I knew he'd try to stop me so I just didn't tell him. When he went out of town so did I. I went to Mexico and got banded. You don't HAVE to have a support system. It's nice and it's wonderful and it makes life easier but it is not impossible to accomplish without friends and family behind you.

You know what my biggest support system has been? The people right here on this very forum. The newbies and oldtimers alike, they have all been my support system. They are the reason for my success.

Get out there and get it done! You can do this because you clearly want it bad enough to start the process, research the band so now get out there and fight for what you want!

faithmd · October 3, 2007

Yup, what Boo Boo Kitty AND WASaBB said!

pattychat · October 3, 2007

Has this happened to anyone else. My surgery was all set. Pre-op is tomorrow.

Dr. Mejias office called THIS morning... ONE WEEK before surgery and said that my portion (the part insurance won't pay) is due before surgery. I had to cancel and they seemed to care less. Just said "ok". The end... my dreams dashed...

Patty :cry

want2bmeagain · October 3, 2007

Patty

can you put it on a credit card or something so you can proceed?

Betsyjane · October 3, 2007

I think that's normal for anyone to want you to pay your potion up front or finance it. Most Dr.s can direct you to a financing plan......

Marimaru · October 3, 2007

By "patient advocate" are you talking about someone at a surgeon's office? If so, find a different surgeon. When she finally does call you back, tell her you went somewhere else, since they obviously didn't feel like they needed the business.

Patty, I'm sorry that your surgery was canceled, but it's normal to want any money up front that insurance wont cover. It's too risky to operate on someone and have the possibility that they wont pay you back, you know?

circa · October 3, 2007

Yeah - its the person at the surgeon's office. When I call to talk to anyone else there, they tell me I have to speak to her, as she is my contact. When I stop by there, they tell me she's busy and I"ll have to wait or call later. I'm just at my wits end and if it goes on much longer, I'm going to be into next year before I can get this done and then I'm going to have a huge problem because the cost will go up for my out of pocket by 2 grand. I can't afford that. Not even on a payment plan.

michiganer · October 3, 2007

Boo Boo you look awesome!

Don't give up! Look at my signature. I am going through the insurance process right now. Let me tell you, it has been no picnic. We are all here to support you but you have to have the determination to keep going.

I am determined because I can't imagine going on like this. I can imagine my health failing, a poor quality of life and an early death. If those things can't keep you going, I don't know what can.

Think of your future without the band. Look at pictures like boo boo kitty and see what your future could be. I know you can do it!