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Weight Loss Surgery: Be Your Own Best Advocate



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Weight loss surgery is not easy. You need a lot of courage to get started, and a lot of persistence to get the information you need to choose a surgery and surgeon, and figure out finances. It takes a lot of discipline to give up favorite foods, to cut portions, and to work out regularly. There can also be challenges from other people who question your every decision or undermine your hard work.

You need help meeting these challenges. You need someone to speak up for you. The best person for the job? It is you. While others can help, you are the one whom you can depend on to be there for yourself and who knows exactly what you need and want. Here are some ways to be your own best advocate.



Ask Questions

Your advocate should get the information you need. Ask your surgeon how you can best prepare for surgery, what you can do to recover faster, and which mistakes he or she sees most often so you can avoid them. Find out how to contact your surgeon for post-op questions, and learn where you can go for support group meetings.

You will need to ask plenty of other questions, too! As your own advocate, don’t be shy about asking anyone about anything. Read everything you can online and on BariatricPal, then use the forums to ask about anything you’re not sure about. You are sure to get all kinds of helpful hints that you never expected!

Provide for Your Needs

Life does throw curve balls, but your basic needs stay predictable. You know which foods and fluids you will need in any given day, so make sure you have them. Plan your menu for each day and go grocery shopping for the week so you are sure to always have the food you need around.

Always keep a stash of “extras” in case of unplanned circumstances. Have instant Protein meals and other staples in your pantry for last-minute meals. Keep Protein Bars and nuts in your car, your gym bag, and at work. Have different flavors of Protein Powder for whenever you find yourself hungry and without other options.

You can also help yourself out by planning ahead. For example, if you’re going to a party, make sure you will have the foods that you will need for that time without needing to wait until after the party to eat or depending on the host to provide healthy Proteins. Stick a Protein Bar or some nuts in your pocket or purse, or bring a healthy dish to share and nibble on yourself.

Be Your Own Planner

If you were taking care of a child with certain needs, you would schedule them in, make sure your child had the materials needed, and get your child to where he needed to go. If you have children, you may keep track of their homework, take them to after-school activities, and make sure they get the nutritious meals and proper sleep that they need. You would keep healthy foods around and provide them with the pencils and sports equipment that they need for school and extracurricular activities.

Why wouldn’t you be just as good to yourself? Provide the same level of self-care for yourself as you do for your family. Keep healthy foods on hand, and schedule your own exercise and meal planning in and keep your commitment just like it was school.

Prioritize your commitments, just like you would do for your children. Your meal prep and workout time is important, but so is relaxation time with your family or friends, or by yourself. Over the long term, balancing work and play can keep you on track but satisfied.

Speak up When Necessary

Keeping quiet can sometimes seem easier or more considerate to others, but keeping a low profile can work against you sometimes. Learn when it makes sense to speak up for yourself. For example, at restaurants, the server may be willing to bring you what you ask for (like a slab of plain chicken breast or the kids’ meal), but will not even know that is what you want (and need) if you do not say something out loud. You may find that you need to explain your weight loss surgery as a medical condition to get your server to honor your request.

These are some other times when you should not keep your mouth shut:

  • When someone pressures you to eat something that's not on your diet.
  • When you do not understand your surgeon’s or nutritionist’s instructions.
  • When you need help around the house or preparing your food.

Learning to be your own best advocate can pay off in a big way, as you will always have someone looking out for your best interests. It is one more thing you can do to help yourself succeed in your WLS journey.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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