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Supporting my Wife



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My Beautiful Wife will be having the Sleeve Procedure done probably in the Spring. I have to admit that I have some fears about it but I can't and will not deprive her of the opportunity to feel good about herself. Any suggestions on this forum of how I can be supportive of her as I she goes through this. Thanks.

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Well, it sounds like you already have the right attitude. Just be there for her through it and when she gets excited about her weight loss be happy with her. Help her in any way you can but don't be too critical. My husband doesn't have a weight problem so I don't expect him to eat like me. I also don't need him telling me what to do. I am aware of what I need to be doing. Is this her first weight loss surgery or is she having a revision?

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You're already doing well! It's going to be very difficult post op. I would recommend your wife begin counselling or join a support group. It will be helpful to have the added support in case of complications.

All the best.

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I can only speak from personal experience.

My hormones were on overdrive due to the quick weight loss. Led to insomnia and anxiety.

Eating and drinking Water is difficult in the beginning. It was fruatrating. I had very little physical pain thank god.

On the mental end, this is by far the hardest. I am a food addict. I felt like I was going cold turkey. Its hard to watch eveyone around you eat normally. Dumping is not fun. I understand it's rare or not so common with the sleeve. I had it once with sugar free ice cream lol.

Read up there's lots of wonderful advice on this site.

Wishing your wife a swift recovery and success.

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Both.

Physically she will be in pain from gas and the incisions. The pain will lessen over the first couple weeks and should be gone in a month or less.

Her stomach heals over the first 8-9 weeks, so her diet gradually transitions from Clear Liquids to solid foods.

Her emotions will be on a roller coaster because of changing hormones and lifestyle. If she is addicted to food, or has other eating disorders, she will be going through withdrawal.

This isn't at all just a small cosmetic procedure. It will deeply effect all parts of your lives, at least at first.

We refer to this as a journey. Things couldn't be more different if you packed up and moved across the country.

Be prepared to enter the twilight zone, but she and you should come out better, stronger, and healthier on the other side.

Good luck!



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And I should add... all the above is based on an uncomplicated experience. She has about a 10% chance of having some complications. (Usually minor). Of course in that case, the journey changes accordingly.

Before you get too scared, keep in mind obesity presents its own risks... and severe complications are pretty rare.

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Spend time on this board hearing about people's successes, questions, and disappointments. It really is a day in the life of...

Aquaint yourself with the preop and post op diets. Look to get a wide variety of calorie free uncarbonated beverages and Protein powders/shakes. Look at the selection of Vitamins that are needed, and she may need to try a few types to find ones she likes.

You need a good blender for pureed foods and Protein Shakes.< br>
When she comes home, she will need to rest and walk. She should walk at least 5 minutes every waking hour.

Dehydration is the #1 problem after surgery. She needs to take a sip of Water every 5 minutes until she can drink more at once.

Plan to set timers for meals, vitamins, walking, and such. If she has an 8 ounce cup of water where she is resting, then she will have to get up frequently to go fill it back up. That is one way to get the frequent walking in the first few days. An alarm that goes off across the room would also make her get up to turn it off.

Of course, any if these suggestions should be talked over with her to decide what will work for you both.





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Everything Berry78 said!

I would also read the complications forum. This is might be odd advice. But it's best you know the real complications regardless of how rare they are.

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

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      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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