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Weird stuff, a bit of a ramble



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I surprise myself when I look in the mirror. When I try on a smaller size and it fits for the first time, I start to cry. I'm now in 10s comfortably, and can also get in some 8s, which I find shocking. I think I went from children's sizes to a 9/10 when I was in junior high. I don't ever remember being in an 8. I'm shrinking on the bottom more quickly than the top.

When I was heavy, I would push the weight around off my face to remind myself what I really look like. Now that I've lost so much weight, I can see and feel my jawline easily, and I feel bony. My collarbone sticks out (to me) and I feel bony on my upper chest (but I'm a 38G!). I've never had a nice round bottom - it was always wide, but flat. I've lost so much on my tush that I'm bony there, too. TMI, but moving a certain way on the toilet actually hurts my tush! I think I need to buy a cushioned toilet seat! I don't remember that being a problem when I was a teenager, but my butt actually hurts!!

I mention above that I would push my face around to remind myself what I look like. There are few people in my life that know me from before I got fat - my sister, Dad, and a few cousins. I've caught my sister looking at me, kind of shocked-like (but happy) - like she's rediscovering me. My dad has teared up looking at me, just thrilled that I had the surgery. It's probably the one thing in my adult life that he hasn't told me that I was wrong for doing. Everyone else is just amazed at how I look. Sometimes the comments don't bother me, especially from the people who know how important this was to me and that know that I had the surgery. But the people that don't know, and that I don't like, or that make a big deal about it (especially publicly), it really drives me nuts.

All my rings are too big, as are some of my watches and bracelets. Even some of my shoes are too big, which really surprised me because I've been the same shoe size since I was 12 (and I wasn't fat when I was 12). I'm still curling into myself, as I mentioned in another post a couple of months ago.

15 more pounds to go to the top of the weight range for my height. Not sure if I want to stop there. I'm not unhappy where I'm at now, but I know I need some more off.

I really can't get over how bony my ass has gotten. Ouch! :rolleyes:

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Congratulations! What a change your have gone through both physically and mentally. You must feel great about yourself. Just imagine all the things you can do now that you couldn't do 93 lbs ago. Welcome to your new life!

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Hahahahaha.....laughing at the "bony ass" comments...before surgery I had developed the "shelf butt" (could've stacked some books on there!), but now have the same issue you're describing being uncomfortable sitting. My daughter is in marching band, and this past Fall, sitting on those metal bleachers at football games and marching competitions....ouch!! But (no pun intended), working on toning muscle there, and still would NEVER choose to go back to the extra padding I had preop.

Sent from my SM-G928V using the BariatricPal App

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Congratulations! What a change your have gone through both physically and mentally. You must feel great about yourself. Just imagine all the things you can do now that you couldn't do 93 lbs ago. Welcome to your new life!

Thank you!

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Hahahahaha.....laughing at the "bony ass" comments...before surgery I had developed the "shelf butt" (could've stacked some books on there!), but now have the same issue you're describing being uncomfortable sitting. My daughter is in marching band, and this past Fall, sitting on those metal bleachers at football games and marching competitions....ouch!! But (no pun intended), working on toning muscle there, and still would NEVER choose to go back to the extra padding I had preop.

Sent from my SM-G928V using the BariatricPal App

I wouldn't go back, either! Time to invest in a portable stadium seat!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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      1. This update has no replies.
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