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Keeping my surgery secret from most of my family, has anyone else



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I'm in the final stages of getting the band. Waiting for insurance approval and setting the date. My aunt who was extremely overweight 450+ had gastric bypass surgery 9/11/01 and died a year later from complications from the surgery. I've told my mother and my best friend and they completely support me in getting the band and will be there for me. I'm not going to tell the rest of the family. I know the subject is extremely touchy and don't need any negative comments. Has anyone else had to keep their surgery under wraps? How have you delt with it?

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I've told everyone and their second cousin's twice removed that I'm getting banded. I'm sure I'll regret it once they start monitoring and questioning everything I eat but now I'm so excited that I can't stop talking about it.

I think you made a very wise choice.

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When I had my surgrey done I only told my mother and mother in law and that was it and of course my children knew.

Keep your head up and jus think how great you will look

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I didnt tell my parents back in England and not too sure that i ever will. There really is not much they can do to help so y worry them.

I keep it on the down low because of the 'food police'.

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I have had many concerns about who to tell. We live in a small town and inevitably I'm sure everyone will know. I have told a few people. My mother and father-in-law, my grandmother and a couple of close friends. What amazes me who has been the most supportive.

My grandmother was really dissappointed (or at least came across that way). For me the surgery seems like common sense. My family on both sides is ridden with morbid obesity, heart disease, high blood preasure and cholesterol to name a few. I know this is the best choice for me. And although I believe/hope most people will be supportive I know not everyone will understand. And that's their problem, not mine. It's our life, not theirs. But what a journey to go on huh?

Good luck.

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I told no one in my family. We had a few family birthday cookouts in the month I was banded and it was a little difficult to explain why I passed on some of my favorite foods like strawberries and green salad. I said that I was on a diet but the foods I couldn't eat were very diet-friendly.

I'm the only overweight person in my family and I'm also a very private person. I'm still very pleased with my decision not to share that I have the band.

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I TOO HAVE KEPT IT A SECRET FROM ALL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS. ONLY MY HUSBAND AND MY SMALL DAUGHTER KNOW ABOUT IT. JUDGING BY THE GENERAL CONVERSATIONS I HAVE HAD ABOUT BANDING WITH MY FAMILY AND CERTAIN FRIENDS THEY WOULD BE TOO NEGATIVE ABOUT IT THEY SEEM TO FEEL IT,S THE EASY OPTION:omg: WE KNOW BETTER DON,T WE?

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You must tell who you have to if you do not then don't I di not tell alot of people hardley any of my friends knew .

When you get down then you can tell them what you had done

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I too have only told family members and a couple of close friends and asked them to keep it quiet. . I guess my feeling is that I have lost many lbs before and regained and I didn't want them to know if I failed again. And didn't want them to think that I took the easy way out. But I guess I have to live in this body with all of the aches and pains knowing that getting the weight off will help only me, so it shouldn't matter but some how it does.

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Not sure what to do... My college aged daughter and husband are the only ones that know. I'm having surgery in 7 days. I told people at work that it was girl surgery, and that I was having problems. I have a very difficult boss and work environment. I wouldn't be surprised if they find out that I would lose my job. :embarassed:

I just don't want the judgement and the looks you get. So many people think its a cake walk. That you go to the Dr. sign up, go to surgery and boom a couple of months later your thin.

This has to be one of the hardest things I have every attempted. It's definitely a life changing experience for the better.

I have not gotten a lot of support for my husband or daughter. We don't even talk about unless it has to do with the date of my surgery, or how it will effect them.

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Not sure what to do... My college aged daughter and husband are the only ones that know. I'm having surgery in 7 days. I told people at work that it was girl surgery, and that I was having problems. I have a very difficult boss and work environment. I wouldn't be surprised if they find out that I would lose my job. :embarassed:

I just don't want the judgement and the looks you get. So many people think its a cake walk. That you go to the Dr. sign up, go to surgery and boom a couple of months later your thin.

This has to be one of the hardest things I have every attempted. It's definitely a life changing experience for the better.

I have not gotten a lot of support for my husband or daughter. We don't even talk about unless it has to do with the date of my surgery, or how it will effect them.

Wow Kasey thats sad. We will surrport you as much as we can. It is sooo worth it! im sorry you have to go through it like that.

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I can totally relate with everyone. I have told very few ppl about having my surgery....mainly because I dont want to be judged any longer. This was my personal decision and I hope I will be able to do very well with it and suceed in getting down to a nomal weight

sw 268

sugery 8/26/07

current weight 249

goal weight 170

45 yrs old 5'9

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Well, I would have liked to keep it a secret from people, with only my closest relatives knowing. Unfortunately, my parents decided that they had the right to tell anyone and everyone about the surgery, so now the whole family knows, along with many of my parents' clients and friends.

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WEll if your boss is that bad I would not tell him either just let it slide and when you start losing your weight I woulnd not even tell him then just say you are watching what you are eating.

The support from your family well my family was behind me all the way once you start loosing hopfully they will suport you then I would do it all over again if I had to .

I had it done this past Feb. and I have lost 63 pounds and I feel great you will too.

Just think how good you will feel.

Keep in touch.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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