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You're describing a situation that has many variations and isn't uncommon around here. What you left out is whether he has been taking Cookies to bed and bringing home two-by-two Snacks only since your surgery. If that's the case, he's absolutely sending a message. You might want to ask him to put it into words so that you know what's going on in your marriage. Often the underminer fears losing the spouse once he/she seems to have better options. That's just one of the usual possibilities. If he claims to being nothing more than funny, you can remind him that nothing is funny after the 28th time.

If he was in the junk-food-for-two habit before you ever thought of surgery, nothing has changed. You can sweetly ask him not to munch in your face until you have a good handle on your new way of eating, but it's tough to make it a demand. The general rule of the real world is that the one who makes the change or is the minority is the one who has to adjust to everyone else's carrying on as usual.

EXCELLENT explanation!!

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So many issues can be avoided through a simple conversation.

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My husband is very supportive. He is trying to encourage me to try to eat the puréed food but I really can't take that much in. He is worried I'm not getting in enough. So I told him I am going to rink more Protein. I have to admit he does come in the room with big bowls of nachos cheese mixed with chili and chip. It sounds good when he crunches on it but I have to taste for it. He asked me if I wanted some of the chili and cheese. I told him I was not in the mood for any. Then he asked what was I going to do once I heal. I said have to stay prepared with foods I can have

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I think he's just trying to be nice. I would nicely say, next time you stop by to grab a shake, can you get me a greek yogurt or maybe a Vitamin Water. Just ask for a healthier alternative. My husband is "naturally" thin as well and whenever he picks up dinner or Snacks, I'll ask for something healthy and we eat together. It's not about what we eat, but about us sitting down to eat together as a family.

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    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

      2. Theweightisover2024🙌💪

        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

    • BeanitoDiego

      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
      I was able to go for a 10K/6mile hike in the mountains two days ago just for the fun of it. In the before days, I might have attempted this, but it would have taken me 7 or 8 hours to complete and I would have been exhausted and in pain for the next two days. Taking my time with breaks for snacks and water, I was finished with my wee jaunt in only 4 hours 😎 and really got to enjoy photographing some insects, fungi, and turtles.
      Just for fun last week, I ran two 5Ks in two days, something I would have never done in the past! Next goal is a 10K before the end of this month.
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    • Teriesa

      Hi everyone, I wrote back in May about having no strength. I still get totally exhausted just walking from room to room, it’s so bad I’m using a walker with wheels of all things. I had the gastric sleeve Jan. 24th. I’m doing exactly what the programs says, except protein shakes. I have different meats and protein bars daily, including vitamins daily. I do drink my fluids as well.  I go in for IV hydration 4 days a week and feel ok just til evening.  So far as of Jan 1st I’ve dropped 76 lbs. I just want to enjoy the weight lose. Any suggestions or has anyone else gone thru this??  Doctor says just increase calorie intake, still the same. 
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