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My children father is causing me stress!



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I decided to do the gastric sleeve about 2 years ago but couldn't follow through with it because we had a child. Now I am having my surgery on Dec 14th and he is causing me more stress than anything. It's not just arguing it's now physical. I don't even know if I am driving myself to the hospital or what's going on with our 3 kids. He just plays these games. Any advice on what I should do? I have no family and really no friends since I just moved to where I am 18 months ago.

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If by saying things are now physical you mean that he's become abusive then you need to first focus on getting you and your kids out of there no matter what. No one is ever worth things getting physical over. I know first hand that getting out can be hard and scary but it's not impossible.

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No one but myself and my 13 year old son

Sent from my SM-N910P using the BariatricPal App

If by saying things are now physical you mean that he's become abusive then you need to first focus on getting you and your kids out of there no matter what. No one is ever worth things getting physical over. I know first hand that getting out can be hard and scary but it's not impossible.

I can't just up and leave now and he won't leave my house.

Sent from my SM-N910P using the BariatricPal App

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Do you have any co workers that your close to? Or neighbors? And if he's touching you call the police!!! Once a person feels comfortable and sees your allowing it they won't stop! No you dont have to leave but he needs to!!! And where are you located? Maybe theirs a buddy near that can help I know I would....

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G928A using the BariatricPal App

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Do you have any co workers that your close to? Or neighbors? And if he's touching you call the police!!! Once a person feels comfortable and sees your allowing it they won't stop! No you dont have to leave but he needs to!!! And where are you located? Maybe theirs a buddy near that can help I know I would....

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G928A using the BariatricPal App

No there is no one. If I call the police I go to jail for defending myself and I won't leave my kids and put them through the AZ system.

Sent from my SM-N910P using the BariatricPal App

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Do you have any co workers that your close to? Or neighbors? And if he's touching you call the police!!! Once a person feels comfortable and sees your allowing it they won't stop! No you dont have to leave but he needs to!!! And where are you located? Maybe theirs a buddy near that can help I know I would....

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G928A using the BariatricPal App

No there is no one. If I call the police I go to jail for defending myself and I won't leave my kids and put them through the AZ system.

Sent from my SM-N910P using the BariatricPal App

I understand I would never leave my children either. I guess you'll just have to walk on eggshells a little. I hate that your going through this maybe you can call a uber to get to the hospital and back. I'm so sorry

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G928A using the BariatricPal App

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Do you have any co workers that your close to? Or neighbors? And if he's touching you call the police!!! Once a person feels comfortable and sees your allowing it they won't stop! No you dont have to leave but he needs to!!! And where are you located? Maybe theirs a buddy near that can help I know I would....

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G928A using the BariatricPal App

No there is no one. If I call the police I go to jail for defending myself and I won't leave my kids and put them through the AZ system.

Sent from my SM-N910P using the BariatricPal App

I understand I would never leave my children either. I guess you'll just have to walk on eggshells a little. I hate that your going through this maybe you can call a uber to get to the hospital and back. I'm so sorry

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G928A using the BariatricPal App

Thank you. How does uber work? Is it like a taxi cab?

Sent from my SM-N910P using the BariatricPal App

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Do you have any co workers that your close to? Or neighbors? And if he's touching you call the police!!! Once a person feels comfortable and sees your allowing it they won't stop! No you dont have to leave but he needs to!!! And where are you located? Maybe theirs a buddy near that can help I know I would....

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G928A using the BariatricPal App

No there is no one. If I call the police I go to jail for defending myself and I won't leave my kids and put them through the AZ system.

Sent from my SM-N910P using the BariatricPal App

I understand I would never leave my children either. I guess you'll just have to walk on eggshells a little. I hate that your going through this maybe you can call a uber to get to the hospital and back. I'm so sorry

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G928A using the BariatricPal App

Thank you. How does uber work? Is it like a taxi cab?

Sent from my SM-N910P using the BariatricPal App

Yes it is

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G928A using the BariatricPal App

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I just got out of a very similar situation. My husband was controlling and abusive. I got a protection order against him last month. He even went as far as tried to contest it. The judge of course upheld it. You can do it. I didn't even know how I would have gas in my car let alone pay my bills, but God provided. I am completely alone as well except for my son. We had recently moved to a new state....well 2 years ago and because he was so controlling I was not allowed friends. So I don't know anyone here. And I will be taking a taxi to and from the hospital. But I tell you it is the courageous thing I have ever done. And I'm so glad I did. Each day I remind myself the hell that has finally left my home and the peace that has taken its place. Only you know what is best but please listen when I tell you. It only gets worse honey. I know exactly what you are going through.

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I just got out of a very similar situation. My husband was controlling and abusive. I got a protection order against him last month. He even went as far as tried to contest it. The judge of course upheld it. You can do it. I didn't even know how I would have gas in my car let alone pay my bills, but God provided. I am completely alone as well except for my son. We had recently moved to a new state....well 2 years ago and because he was so controlling I was not allowed friends. So I don't know anyone here. And I will be taking a taxi to and from the hospital. But I tell you it is the courageous thing I have ever done. And I'm so glad I did. Each day I remind myself the hell that has finally left my home and the peace that has taken its place. Only you know what is best but please listen when I tell you. It only gets worse honey. I know exactly what you are going through.

Sent from my Y538 using the BariatricPal App

Thank you. I will fix this I will take an uber to and from the hospital and make sure not to make him mad. Than come the new year I should be healed and will figure it out. I just can't stress and he is causing too much right now.

Sent from my SM-N910P using the BariatricPal App

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We need to find you a buddy that's close you need some support.... I'm in New Jersey if I was closer I would have done all I can to help. Make a post looking for ppl near you.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G928A using the BariatricPal App

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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