Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Wish I had never told some friends about plan for WLS



Recommended Posts

Are there others who are just at the beginning of this process and told some of your close friends about it?

I did. I saw my surgeon on Nov 15 2016. I came home so excited and empowered because there were

many in the waiting room who were happy to talk to me about it.

I have been told "Oh you could just use that NutriSYSTEM like Marie Osmond. Have you tried it?

I just know if you use a 1200 calorie diet you could do this all by yourself. or You are taking the

easy way out. You just need willpower. I have lost 15 pounds on that. I don't think you have

given the diet the best try.

It killed my excitement and now I plan to keep things to myself. These people are not morbidly

obese and at the highest probably weigh 135 lbs.

Can anyone else relate to this? and for others that are further along in the process offer me more

advice on how to handle these people?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's very frustrating. One friend told me that I could have done this on my own. All I said was that I did this for health reasons, and I have no regrets. It's your body, and your shoes that you are wearing. You do you!

Sent from my MotoE2(4G-LTE) using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been through this with a few of my friends, I had wanted to keep it to only a few people until after the surgery. One of my friends told everyone else about it in an attempt to persuade me not to get it.It was disappointing because I have tried on my own all my life and needed a little support. My weight constantly fluctuated and I decided I need this for myself. My friends who have tried to convince me not to get it don't understand. None of them have been or are obese. My surgery is scheduled for the 27th of December, (23 days away!) and I only really bother to talk to people who are being supportive of my decision. It really sucks, but I think people who are not supportive just don't understand. I hope you make your decision based on what you feel is best for you, good luck!

Sent from my SM-G930V using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Are there others who are just at the beginning of this process and told some of your close friends about it?

I did. I saw my surgeon on Nov 15 2016. I came home so excited and empowered because there were

many in the waiting room who were happy to talk to me about it.

I have been told "Oh you could just use that NutriSYSTEM like Marie Osmond. Have you tried it?

I just know if you use a 1200 calorie diet you could do this all by yourself. or You are taking the

easy way out. You just need willpower. I have lost 15 pounds on that. I don't think you have

given the diet the best try.

It killed my excitement and now I plan to keep things to myself. These people are not morbidly

obese and at the highest probably weigh 135 lbs.

Can anyone else relate to this? and for others that are further along in the process offer me more

advice on how to handle these people?

Besides my husband, I have only told 2 of my very good friends who are very supportive and a family member. Some people, no matter how good their intentions, don't understand how hard it is for those of us who HAVE tried other diets and the constant struggle of the yo-yoing ups and downs. It is okay to keep that part a secret and not feel guilty about it. You're not cheating or taking the easy way out. You are being given a tool to help you manage your eating. That's it. You will still have to eat right and maybe even exercise, just like your 135 lb friends. ☺ How you go about doing that is your business and if they can't be supportive, then they shouldn't say anything and make you feel bad for taking control of your health and your future. I'm not trying to be harsh. I just think friends should be supportive and encouraging.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N920A using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just told people whose opinion I wanted. Needless to say it's been very few people.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N920A using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There's a great solution do not tell ppl that act this way ppl that don't have the weight problem cannot understand if it was simple as just stop eating and go to the gym there wouldn't be a need for bariatric surgery it's the same as drug or alcohol addiction just stop drinking and taking drugs we gee that's so easy why do we have rehab then? I know it sucks but sometimes you just can't confide in ppl you must be your own cheerleader remember it's only your opinion that matters they aren't living in your body or with whatever issues you may have because if it they don't have to live with it you do don't listen to the opinions of ppl who cannot possibly understand the issue

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If they don't support you they aren't very good friends. We all have our struggle with weight ,we all lose differently,i aplude you for coming to a dissension that works for you. Surround yourself with people to help you

it's a struggle to try to do it alone. Keep up the hard work.

Sent from my LGLS991 using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I consider myself lucky. I have told friends and family I am planning on doing this. All have been super supportive. Although, many have seen me diet and fail. I think they understand

Sent from my SM-G920V using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@ARNOLDSMB

I told a friend that blabbed my choice to people. So I just ended up telling them that I changed my mind because of a different health issue. So you can try reversing it.

I don't live near anyone that knows me so it was easy to keep my surgery to myself. I don't know if people who are around people every day can pull that off.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@ARNOLDSMB

I told a friend that blabbed my choice to people. So I just ended up telling them that I changed my mind because of a different health issue. So you can try reversing it.

I don't live near anyone that knows me so it was easy to keep my surgery to myself. I don't know if people who are around people every day can pull that off.

That's what I did after I got some flicked responses from friends, family, and co-workers, plus I saw how stupid some family members were about another member's WLS (she's been very open with her journey.... I'm so proud of her.....her success is a big part of why I made the decision to have it). As far as people know, I'm still having surgery, and still waiting for my date, but I'm not having WLS.....I've got to have surgery to remove some adhesions/scar tissue from a prior "female surgery"; these adhesions have managed to wrap around my intestines and stomach, impeding my ability to properly digest/metabolize food.....remove the adhesions, solve the stomach/metabolism problem, lose weight. That's my story and I'm sticking with it!

Sent from my SM-G935P using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just do what you want, if they are your true friends, they will be happy for you, happy about the results you will have. If they are not, if they still tell you you took the easy way out, that you could have just stop eating (as if it was easy to tell change your way of living so brutally), maybe they didn't want you any good since the very beginning...

I did not tell any of my friends. Two weeks after the surgery I started to visit them again (was starting to receive calls like "dude, where are you, we haven't seen you in a while) and told them... Some of them were sad I didn't put them in the confidence but some have admitted they would have tried to hold me back on the surgery decision.

In the end, all of them are glad for me and I kept most of my friends :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Aww, that's what I'm scared of. I have not told a soul tbh. I plan to make one of my sleeve buddies contact my emergency contact on my surgery date if anything happens but besides that I'm telling no one.

I feel I should be brave and contribute in taking the stigma away from VSG but my family are all slim and judgmental.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you to all have responded. I can't tell you how much it means to have someone who

knows what I have went thru trying to lose weight. I am so glad I have this site to talk

to others who are on this same journey. I think being able to be supportive to others

is a great gift. So Thank you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Are there others who are just at the beginning of this process and told some of your close friends about it?

I did. I saw my surgeon on Nov 15 2016. I came home so excited and empowered because there were

many in the waiting room who were happy to talk to me about it.

I have been told "Oh you could just use that NutriSYSTEM like Marie Osmond. Have you tried it?

I just know if you use a 1200 calorie diet you could do this all by yourself. or You are taking the

easy way out. You just need willpower. I have lost 15 pounds on that. I don't think you have

given the diet the best try.

It killed my excitement and now I plan to keep things to myself. These people are not morbidly

obese and at the highest probably weigh 135 lbs.

Can anyone else relate to this? and for others that are further along in the process offer me more

advice on how to handle these people?

Sadly, I cannot relate. All my friends thin, thick, overweight and everyone in between have been great and super supportive.

As someone who has lost 337 pounds both naturally (254) and the rest after WLS, both sides are challenging, and are NOT easy!

Whomever says surgery is the easy way out, is an ignorant fool and I have no issues calling those people out if/when I see them. Luckily its only been 1 or 2 two and not people I really know.

Feel free to message me on the FB with any questions. I am usually quicker to respond there. See signature below for links. :)

Best of luck!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recent Topics

  • Most popular:

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Krestel

      How can a bowel movement make me lose almost 4 pounds? How much poo am I full of?
      · 1 reply
      1. lvidacovich

        I haven't pooped in a weed and I'd love a 4 pound poo right now lol

    • *Meaghan*

      I met with my surgeon on Friday.. I've completed all my tests and all my nutrition meetings as well as meeting the weight loss requirements for my insurance. We are officially submitting to insurance for approval and I was given a surgery date of January 16th 2020 (13 days before my birthday!) Fingers crossed all goes through 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Krestel

      Ok, now im getting old...my body gets me up at my normal 5am dog walk even when it's the weekend, vacation, and most importantly when I'm sick. So now that I have more energy, my body wants to make sure I suffer even longer during the day when I have a cold! Damn being healthy again! (:D)
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • GreenTealael

      At my Primary Physician appt, the Doc said you know you lost a whole person. When you started seeing me you were 265lbs now you're 148lbs.
      She's right... I lost the fun me 😂 Joking Joking Joking. It's amazing who keeps track when you don't like insurance and browsers feeds
      · 2 replies
      1. Orchids&Dragons

        I think you're fun! You must have been a firecracker before!

      2. GreenTealael

        I don't even drink anymore 😂

    • Krestel

      First head cold since the surgery....at least I know that my body is back to "normal". /sigh
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Trending Topics

  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs
    ×