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I'm so frustrated, annoyed and discouraged. I was banded in March and I've only lost 18 lbs. I can't seem to get into a routine, I'm not eating right and I don't have will-power. How do I get on track and start losing again? The will-power and the exercise are the two worst things for me and those are the two things that will help me succeed. I tend to eat when I'm not hungry and that isn't good. I am stuck in such a rut and I don't know what to do. I feel like such a failure. I got the lapband because I couldn't lose weight on my own so I decided to get the surgery. I felt like a failure before the band and I feel like a failure after the band. Now that I have the band and I can't get it to work, I feel even more like a failure. Not only to myself but to my family. Did I do the right thing to get the band or was it a mistake? I don't know what to do at this point.

Sherri

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berry, have you tried going to a support group of bansters? I'm sure they would be able to help you. Don't be discouraged. Motivation and will power don't always come easy. I would suggest a support group and you would meet others with the same issues you have, and they can get you through this hump! Good luck!

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This is what i did...maybe it will help you too. Find something you ike to do to replace eating. I was eating out of boredom too....so in my case, I starting reading. I read and my mind is somewhere other than the fridge. Just find what you like to do...take up a hobby. You would be surprised how much it helps....worked for me :confused: Good luck to you!

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berry,

(1) Think about your fill level. Do you need a fill? I find that if I'm not filled enough, I have all the issues you describe (the "willpower" issues). A good fill takes away 90% of that problem for me.

(2) Are you drinking with meals? If so, take the one, simple step of stopping that. It's a small thing and it makes SUCH a difference in allowing the band to bring us to satiety. I find that when I'm stalled, it's often because I've slipped back into that bad habit.

(3) Stop beating yourself up. What's done is done and the band doesn't have a time limit. You're not a band failure -- you just need to make the most of your band from this moment forward. Taking this control will make you feel great!

Hang in there.

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Exercise is always a challenge for me. The best thing is to make a date with a friend to go for a walk or a bike ride. Having a partner makes it so much easier! I agree with Julie that you may need a fill. When you feel like eating and you aren't hungry, have a glass of Water. Get all of the junk out of the house, so you won't be tempted. You CAN do it! Don't give up! You aren't a failure. The band doesn't work for everyone, but first you need to help it work. Best of health to you.

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When it comes to food you need the right fill. Without proper restriction the band is useless.

Exercise... that's just something you have to do. I don't like it but I do it. There are lots of things in life that we don't like, it doesn't mean we don't have to do them anyway. Going to work, washing floors, etc. I don't like it either but that isn't an excuse not to do it. It's an hour out of your day. That's nothing. I can spend more time whining about how much I don't like it than it takes me to get my fat butt off the couch and get it done. I can put more energy into avoiding it vs. just doing it.

Just make it a habit. If you like it, great. If you don't, so what? Get out there and do it anyway.

We have a lot physiological and emotional reasons for over eating, there is a lot of science showing this to be true. No exercise? That one is on us. You don't like doing it? So what. Do it anyway.

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Get your inspiration back first. Write down all the reasons you were so excited to get this surgery done. I know I told myself this is the last straw if I do this I am going to have to make changes in my life to make it work.Write down those reasonable changes that need to be made and stick to it. Stick to it for 2 weeks and you will see the results you desire which makes me want to do those things even more. The more I eat right and work out the more it becomes who I am and how I do things. Its no longer a struggle for me to eat right MOST of the time, or to go work out. I look forward to it now because I see that when I do these things the weight drops. When I slack off and I dont not much happens.

That being said it is not always easy to make it to the gym, but it is a WHOLE lot easier going to the gym knowing this time I am going to see results. If you have enough restriction and you eat the proper foods first you wont have much room for the bad ones. I dont totally deprive myself of everything, if I want to have a cookie once in a while or have a taco on the weekend for dinner I do. I am a normal person not on a fad diet. Fills- get them, the band wont work empty for most people!

The lap band is not a free ticket to eat what you want and sit on your couch. If you always do what you've always done youre going to get what you always got. Just because you fell off the wagon does not make you a failure. Pick yourself up, do what you have to do to make your band work for you, and get on your way to the goal you set when you got your surgery. You CAN do this if you put your mind to it. and by posting your honest feelings here I take that to mean you WANT it to work. So DO IT!

See if your surgeon has an aftercare program and or support group as mentioned above.

Good luck! I hope I dont come across as harsh... I just want you to realize you can succeed if you want to.

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Hey, don't feel disappointed. You have to be motivated at this point of your life. The challenge is big. I am myself getting ready for that as well. I have been advised to have a organized routine that helps to overcome the depression caused. Glad you joined this group, we can get lots of support here.

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The band is a big commitment to yourself to be ready to some real head work. The band is designed to help with the 'endless hunger' feeling, after that, it's really up to us.

I am in a rut myself, and started back on plan yesterday (no waiting for Monday anymore). For ME the band works like this; I have to diet to lose weight, but when I am not dieting, if I'm not going CRAZY, I wont gain anything back, so when I'm ready to get my head on straight again, I can pick up where I left off.

It's too hard to try and do everything at once. You said you eat when you aren't hungry; the band wont really help with that except for how much you eat at a time. Find a hobby that takes up time and YOUR HANDS. I started crocheting a while back, but just something that takes yours hands up so they can't be conveying food to your mouth, you know?

If the types of things you are eating are an issue, start knocking those out one at a time. It's a slower way to results than "cold turkey" but it's easier for me.

The best way for me to keep in check is calories. If I eat something bad, that's fine, but it goes in the calorie count on fitday. And then at the end of the day, I have to stare at the number to see how I did. I don't like how I feel when the number is higher than I want, so I avoid that.

Exercise is my bane, but I do okay for a little while. I was going with my sisters to the gym until recently. I'm moving in 3 weeks, and I've already located gyms in my new area to scope out once I get there. Hopefully I can get my hubby to start going with me too.

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I have been approved but not scheduled yet. One of my fears is falling back into bad habits because I am an emotional eater. I am wondering if Overeaters Annon. is something that anyone has experience with. I have looked at some of the signs of compulisive eating that OA has on their website and I see a lot of those signs in the way I eat. I am trying to prepare not only for the band, eating for the band lifestyle but also looking at the issues that have contributed to being at this point. I would appreciate any experiences with OA and emotional eating.

Penny

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Sherri--Have you talked to your doctor about your concerns? You should not beat yourself up so much. You took the right step in getting the band. I know how hard it to stay away from food. It is a daily struggle for me. You just have to take it one day at a time. Starting tomorrow, wipe the slate clean. Start over. A good starting point is talking to your doctor. Let us know how you are doing.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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