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Help, my Daughter doesn't want me to have lapband surgery



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you may want to have her attend a seminar if there is one in your area before you surgery date. inform her that the band is just a tool to assist you in the weight loss, the weight loss is still up to you. and stress that unless she has lost 100 lbs to get down to a size 3, she cannot begin to know the physical and mental stress you have always gone through, which has adverse effects on you also.

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"there is "no discrimination" --ha--when you're heavier--you're discounted as "stupid"--which i'm not.

As girlinnyc wrote, we have all known the physical and mental stigma that goes with obesity most of our lives. The thought process is that we could not possibly have a brain, or why would we CHOOSE to be obese? (As if it's an option!)

I read in a book (The Underburner Diet) that the author's daughter said to her "I hate to see fat people chow, Mom" and it's really the way society views us.

Even alcoholics can hide their disease and are held in higher esteem... It is just so terrific that we have a relatively safe choice now to limit our portion intake.

Your size 3 daughter doesn't realize the issues we've all had to deal with--you just go for it, Jeanne...:clap2:

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For me, it was my mother who wasn't so keen on the procedure. She is very scared of surgery for any reason and I can respect that. However, she's a size 10/12 and doesn't understand what it's like to struggle with weight (although she swears that she does). I told her that I respect the fact that she doesn't agree with it, but I would appreciate her support with my decision. She was at the hospital with me during the surgery. Well...needless to say...she is SO proud of me now. I think that it's very difficult for people who do not struggle with their weight to truly understand what we go through. Sit down with your daughter and explain everything to her. Have you look around this website go get more information. Good luck to you!

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I brought my daughter with me to the seminar about the band. She has also watched me gain and lose hundreds of lbs. during her life (age 21)..she is concerned I know, that I will not be around for her children and the future. With a BMI of 46 and age 49, I know she is right. Once you have made your mind up, it is your decision.

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Agree with you! I am holding off telling my Mom til a get a surgery date..she will be skeptical...hasn't been more than 130# in her whole life...very intolerant of obese people and such. But I know she will support me, perhaps not til the weight starts coming off...but the comr e around...

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I have some great advice for you. I am a daughter myself so I understand.

The most important thing is to hear her out. Here are some points that might help her understand.

-It's only a tool to help me be succesful in the long run

-It is not like gasteric, its less intrusive

-It's safe, reversable, and I can eat normally when I am done

-I rather have a surgery and be down for a week, so that I can be healthy than be overweight and have years of my life taken off because of it

I hope things go well and good luck. Just remember though, even if your daughter doesn't support you--you know what's right for you and you need to do whats right for you.

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Dear you.toi help you do not know how but you do not sad story of his daughter. I think your daughter back surgery . good hope of a your's doctor.I also has a daughter has surgery .now it was better then

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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