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family that won't stop eating badly ?



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This may sound harsh, it isn't meant to be. They didn't choose to have surgery, you did. This is your decision. They don't have to change the way they eat just because you want them too.

Yes it is rude to rub it in your face but they can eat whatever they want.

I would really sit back and think of these are the type of people you want to surround yourself with? I would hunker down, stay in my room and make a plan to move from my parents house.

Edited by TiredOfMyself

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I think you should find something to occupy your time while they eat. You can go for a walk, lookup healthy recipes. Whenever someone in my family wants to eat fast food or something I cannot have there is a major battle going on inside my head. "God that smells good, remember how it tastes? Just a bite won't hurt." Then you have sensibility saying, "No. You will make yourself sick. Do you want to be back up to 400 lbs? one bite will lead to more." So instead of listening to the argument I occupy my time. The definition of willpower is the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long term goals. Your family SHOULD be more supportive of you and your new lifestyle. does that mean they should change the way they want to eat? No, but they should respect that they shouldn't do it in front of you.


I also live alone, so if I am spending time with them and they choose to eat something I would rather not be tempted with I go home.

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I still cook the same food I did before. I still pick up takeout for my son and husband. I make a healthy choice or eat before I go. I am a picky picky eater so it's easier for me just to grab a stick of cheese with turkey and not eat the junk they want. Mind you, they eat deer meat and fish...we rarely buy meat. But they do like it fried. To me ...meat and cheese everyday is heaven...they are my favs!

You had the surgery and even though you want them to eat better and make better choices, you can't force them. Use your tool...the head is the worst part of it...you can do this. Prove to them it works and that you can't be swayed. You got this!!!

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Jesus loves you!!!

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Can you compromise? Are there goodies that you hate? I dislike anything with coffee, so we get my husband mocha ice cream, tiramisu, kalua candies, etc. I dislike pretzels and popcorn, so those are his salty Snacks.

Maybe if your family is reasonable you can make this work for everyone.

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I feel your pain. However you will just stop thinking about those foods. You can teach yourself by eating there and see what happens. Not being mean but it's what I had to do. Also you seem like you need a better support system. Make sure to stay in touch on here. Lastly tell your family if they want it they can go get it when they are able to see while driving. Best of Luck!!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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