Not sure I'm strong enough

[JodiT140 34]

Last week I finally scheduled my procedure for December 15th. This week my husband and I have started talking divorce. I'm not sure if I can handle both major life changes at the same time. Some times life really sucks!

[Hellya 144]

I'm sorry.

If it were me, I'd do it. Even though it's not easy, the changes are positive ones. But you have to do what's right for you. *hug*

[RJrocks 69]

I would do it anyways. Do you still want to salvage your marriage. If so, I would ask him for more time. If you have not been happy because of your weight and that is a big part of cause for divorce, it might be worth you both holding on a little longer. Yes, life is so hard. Hugs.

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[OKCPirate 5,323]

My divorce process took nearly 9 months. Many, many ups and downs. I tried to put my self back there going through the changes which resulted from surgery, I think I would do the surgery. But here are the cautions:

1) There can be a real change in mood do to the hormone dumping that occurs when you lose fat.

2) Can you stay focused enough to stay on program and avoid emotional eating?

WLS is a tool, not a magic wand.

The reason why I would have done the surgery knowing what I know now...

• It is a good focusing tool.
• You probably have a sizable investment in time in getting this set up.
• As you take control in one area of your life, you tend to get more control in others.
• It is a major positive, which will give strength during a tough time.
• It would be nice to have someone watching the home front/kids. Doing it alone is tougher, even if they are not supportive.

This is my $.02 without really knowing your specifics (and I'm not trying to pry). Just some very general things to consider.

[JodiT140 34]

Thank you! Those are awesome point to member while going through this tuff time. ????

[heidikat72 935]

I second everything @@OKCPirate said. And would suggest you find a counselor/therapist now. You are embarking on two very emotional journeys and having a therapist for support as you work through it will be a help.

[Dee~Dee 107]

Im so sorry to hear your struggle. My vote would be to go for it too. You could even use it for motivation. The help of a good counsellor is excellent advice. Divorce has a way of always coming at the worse times. When I realized mine was pending... I'd just started school and had two little children to tend to alone. It was the WORST feeling but more importantly the BEST feeling when I walked across that stage with my degree. That "motivation " worked in my favor. Good luck to you! Prayers!

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[Hammer_Down 631]

That is very rough. I would suggest doing this for yourself, maybe even more so if you are going to be on your own.

Either way, this procedure will help boost your self confidence. It is the ultimate gift you can give yourself - a prolonged life and a chance to start over, regardless of what happens with your marriage.

I hope this works out for you, whichever direction you want your life to take.

[livvsmum 2,370]

I think you've gotten good advice. I would just echo what others have said. Meeting regularly with a therapist trained in eating disorders will be really important because you will certainly have hard and stressful times ahead. She/he will be able to help you process what is going on as you go through the divorce and help you find better ways of dealing with the stress.

And, I would say, if you've jumped through all the hoops and gotten the surgery scheduled, girl, you put yourself first and have that surgery!!!! It is something you can do for yourself. Do not dare put yourself and your health on the back burner!

[blizair09 3,250]

I would definitely go through with the surgery. Whatever trials and tribulations come your way in life, you'll deal with them more effectively with better health and enhanced self-confidence.

Good luck!

[Joy@boman 151]

Weight loss is a great distraction. Surround yourself with positive people

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[larry971 279]

I don't know your situation and none of us do. And also I'm a man so my point of view tends to be different. But my thoughts are you need to do what's best for you and I bet all the rest will fall into place. The surgery was one of my best choices in my life and I'm so much better for it. My only advice is looking yourself and see what you want follow your heart. Especially not letting someone that he either doesn't care enough about you or you him to continue to control your life. And if you need someone to talk to let me know and I'm sure anyone else on here will do the same.

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[Raymia 565]

I would do it! I was in the same situation and decided not to have the surgery and now I'm at square one.... I wish I would have point myself first! I felt down and I was really hurt and even then I didn't worry about myself and I gained more weight. He moved on without a care in the world, I just let go for awhile I didn't exercise or cared what I ate. I wanted my next partner to love me for me.... But I wish I would have got it done. I wasn't happy with myself, I was very insecure. A divorce is a divorce it will never be easy mine only took 1 1/2 months to be finale it was quick. But if I got the surgery done that would have gave me something positive to look forward to. Please do it

[JodiT140 34]

Thank you all for your support! I am going through with the surgery! It's scheduled for the 15th of December. Come hell or high Water as my mom use to say, I going to make this happen for me!

[larry971 279]

Thank you all for your support! I am going through with the surgery! It's scheduled for the 15th of December. Come hell or high Water as my mom use to say, I going to make this happen for me!

Really proud of you. Taking care of yourself makes you happy and you'll feel more like helping other people too. You won't regret your decision. Keep doing what you're doing. You'll do great.

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