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Who knows about your surgery?



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I think the subject line says it pretty well. Obviously if you're living with folks, they know what you did. But outside of your immediate family, who have you told?

I'm in the supermega preliminary stages of a sleeve. I'm not sure how long the recovery period is yet. My husband will know but I'd rather never tell my parents (especially my mother) or my coworkers.

Where do you all stand on disclosure? Are you walking ads for the wonders of the surgery, or do you keep what you did to yourself? If you've spoken about it, who did you tell?

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I think the subject line says it pretty well. Obviously if you're living with folks, they know what you did. But outside of your immediate family, who have you told?

I'm in the supermega preliminary stages of a sleeve. I'm not sure how long the recovery period is yet. My husband will know but I'd rather never tell my parents (especially my mother) or my coworkers.

Where do you all stand on disclosure? Are you walking ads for the wonders of the surgery, or do you keep what you did to yourself? If you've spoken about it, who did you tell?

Well I've told pretty much everyone in close with. My surgeon actually said I'm really lucky to have such an awesome support system.

My family and I are real close and everyone is super excited and supportive. My fiancé has been on board from day one. Also the few coworkers I'm close with, they're all happy for me as well.

The only people I haven't told, my fiancé's father and sister, i haven't told them because they're naturally negative first people and I don't care to know their opinions on my life choices!

I guess I was surprised when my surgeon said I was lucky because I just assumed everyone else had the same support.

If someone isn't supportive of something you want to do then just don't even bother with them. Misery loves company. Good luck to you!

Sent from my SM-G900V using the BariatricPal App

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-immediate family

--a couple of close friends

--anyone who asks me "oh my God, you look amazing, how did you lose all that weight?"

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In the beginning, it was only my husband, children and the co-worker who's success inspired me. But as my surgery date drew closer, I told my close friends at church, my sister and a few co-workers that I trust. Now, AFTER surgery, I dont hold back, LOL! Anyone who has asked how I've lost the weight gets the truth! I even got brave and posted pics and the BOLD truth on facebook! :)

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I am currently awaiting insurance approval, but I have been rather open about it.

A lot of folks know how much I have struggled with weight loss over the years so I was happy to share this important decision and luckily, I have been greeted with a lot of encouragement.

My sister-in-law, who is naturally about 100# soaking wet, made a comment that she can't support me or give her blessing, but guess what? I wasn't asking for it. I believe that her opinion actually comes from a place of concern and religious beliefs, but it was slightly hurtful nonetheless.

I figured anyone that I haven't told will figure it out when I rapidly begin to lose weight, and it doesn't matter, I am not ashamed of my decision. I am choosing to take my life back and live a better and healthier life.

Edited by HuneComz

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@@HuneComz - I get not supporting someone, but why on earth would she think she needs to give her blessing? What a weird choice of words. It's not like the world revolves around her!

Edited by jessgnc

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I have told anyone and everyone since the day I began the process.

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I'm a very private person naturally, and have not told anyone. I want to see how long this can last.

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I told my boss my co-workers I'm friends with, any of my friends that I've been in touch with since making the decision. Basically not keeping it a secret.

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In the beginning I told my family and a few close friends. After surgery I would share with anyone who asked.

Honestly there are times when I regretted telling anyone outside of my family but once the toothpaste is out of the tube it is impossible to get it back in. LOL.

It really is none of anyone's business. There have been a couple of times when asked and shared that I get a crappy response and so i am a bit more choosy about who i tell.

Believe it or not, there is a nurse in my doctors office who is morbidly obese right now. She asked me how I lost my weight and so I told her that i had RNY and have controlled my weight with a higher Protein, lower carb plan.

She actually gave me a ridiculously bitchy look and then said she had RNY as well but it didn't work for her. She had her surgery before I had mine 2 years ago. You don't know how bad I wanted to ask why it didn't work for her but she was kind of bitchy about it, almost like she was mad that I lost all of my excess weight and it didn't work for her.

So, I didn't ask. I assume deep down that she knows she probably did not follow the diet and exercise plan and was feeling crappy about it.

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Before the surgery when I had to go through a whole bunch of classes. I talked to my husband about it and that was it. Then after I went to see the surgeon the first time, I told my best friend and her husband.

After six months of classes and insurance approval, I told my children. My surgery was October 26 and I have told a few close friends.

I did not want to hear any negatives about my decision. It is my body and I can do what I want! People never seem to have anything positive to say if you tell them something like this. I also go to support group meetings and the people that have told their friends only spoke negative feedback.

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

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I did not want to hear any negatives about my decision. It is my body and I can do what I want! People never seem to have anything positive to say if you tell them something like this. I also go to support group meetings and the people that have told their friends only spoke negative feedback.

You just had it done! Congratulations. :) How long did your recovery take?

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Before I even went to the classes and consults, I spoke to my husband about it. He was very supportive. After I went through the months of process of classes, tests and insurance approval, I told my parents and my daughter. I know they would all be supportive.

I asked my parents not to tell extended family. I have some very judgmental aunts and cousins. All my cousins are very thin and fit. I can't wait to see them next year at the reunion, I am already imagining their reactions!

I told my boss as well, but none of my coworkers. My boss is very professional and I am assured she will not mention it to anyone. I told her so that she would be aware of my post op recovery needs.

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There are plenty of good reasons to keep it a secret. That said, the only way to know it's a secret is to tell no one beyond the most trusted who truly need to know (your husband).

The tricky part of keeping it a secret doesn't come until you're down 100 lbs in 6 months and all anyone wants to talk about is "how did you do it?"

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

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