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Not telling anyone. What do you say?



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... just combing my hair on a regular basis causes them to be mean and nasty.

First and foremost, I am sorry your family is this way to you. Hugs.

I am seriously confused, though. Why would they be mad at you for combing your hair? Isn't that basic hygiene?

Because they let themselves go and i did my hair and makeup and dressed up so it was always mean nastiness. Like who do I think I am. Was not blessed with nice people.

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I am not telling either- I know they will try to talk me out of it. My hubby knows and is fully supportive. I have told one friend and her husband bc she was sleeved a year and a half ago- she inspired me to do it and she is kind of my mentor in the whole process. Maybe I will tell after the fact- maybe not. It's noone's business but mine. I plan on just saying the same business about working with my doc/nutritionist, low carbing, exercising etc.... it will all be true.

I am a bit worrried about energy loss after surgery bc I am an aid in a kindergarten classroom though! Bring on the B12. Non

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Edited by DogRescueGal

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I'm telling my friends (who are really excited for me) and some of my family. But I'm not telling my mom/my mother's side of the family. For one thing, I think they'd freak out and try to convince me not to do it. But more importantly, my mom did A LOT of damage to me growing up when it comes to food. So it's like I don't want to give her the satisfaction of being "right" (even though she wasn't). My struggle though is how to "hide" it at first. My birthday is around 6 weeks after when I hope my surgery is, so it will be a time when I'm sorta forced into family situations with food. And I won't be eating much obviously. So I don't know how to hide that :-/

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I've only told my family, close friends, and a few coworkers that I'm close to. I was also bashful about talking about it at work and I generally don't unless someone asked me specifically. I don't like lying and so I say I had surgery. If they ask what surgery, I'd say I had the vsg. But I'm not super open about it and letting everyone know on Facebook or social media. My confidence isn't quite there yet. And frankly, this is my medical issue and I like my privacy.

I even talked to my psychologist during my evaluation about this specific issue. She said that I should be more open to it and to embrace it but she understands if I don't want to talk about it. It depends on my comfort level. My husband thinks I should "own it" and be free to talk about it. Because he's proud that I've taken this step to make myself healthier and it's brave for anyone to take this huge step. As time goes along, I'm sure I'll be more open about it.

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My husband, mom, dad, sister, and mother in law know. I am going to tell my best friend after the surgery and after my first few months. She has a model body and I just don't think she will understand but if she sees the results after then she will be happy for me. My work knows I am having surgery but that's it. They didn't need to know anything else. I will take one week of PTO and then work from home for two weeks. I'm not telling anyone but I will tell them I have changed my lifestyle. I am also now gluten free and that has helped me loose weight.

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I thought I was not going to tell anyone but then I just told everyone and you would not believe the response and others I've helped with my story. However, you could say your on the low carb Atkins diet and only doing 20grams of carbs per day until you lose it all[emoji6]

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@@Miss Impala

I appreciate your point of view and I applaud your decision to take care of yourself.

I am one of those who decided not to share and a few of your thoughts stood out prominently to me. First and foremost, you used the word ashamed repeatedly. I am not at all ashamed of my decision. I am not sure where my desire for privacy equates to shame.

Also, I have no desire to be "an example" for fellow fatties out there. I was obese for 20 years. I knew the options. Diets, exercise, surgery -- I'd researched every single one and I didn't need anyone telling me what the next best thing was going to be for me. The people I know who are of size also know about their options. It's up to them to decide when to exercise those options.

As for not "doing it on my own"? Who did it for me? I had the surgery. I did the exercise. I followed the plan. I weighed and measured my food. I followed my pre-op diet for a month and was on liquids and mushies (without straying off plan) for 8 weeks post op. I didn't eat solid foods for three months post op and I worked my ass off to lose my weight. I've worked even harder to keep it off for three years.

No one has done this for me. I did it. And because of that, I get to be ecstatically private about it.

Word.

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I am not telling either- I know they will try to talk me out of it. My hubby knows and is fully supportive. I have told one friend and her husband bc she was sleeved a year and a half ago- she inspired me to do it and she is kind of my mentor in the whole process. Maybe I will tell after the fact- maybe not. It's noone's business but mine. I plan on just saying the same business about working with my doc/nutritionist, low carbing, exercising etc.... it will all be true.

I am a bit worrried about energy loss after surgery bc I am an aid in a kindergarten classroom though! Bring on the B12. Non

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Don't worry about energy loss one bit---

I think you will be PLEASANTLY surprised...

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I was sleeved 3 1/2 years ago, and I only told my daughter. I'm going to get a revision in a few months and I think I'll tell the rest of my family about it.

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Imdeborah- can I ask why you are getting a revision? If it didn't work, what did you start to notice and when did you know that it wasn't working for you?

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First, I am an extreme extrovert so I told lots of people because I needed the support. However, I think it's perfectly fine to not give any answer except "my medical issues, including my weight, are personal." It is astounding how invasive people can be about others weight when they would never dare ask such specific questions about other medical issues.

I have think telling and not telling can both battle major issues. Telling can take away some stigma for people who want it done. Not telling can be a stand against the majority of people who feel the need to police overweight people's bodies.

Either way, I hope all sleepers feel empowered with their decision!! ❤️

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I tell everyone the truth! I am proud of my decision.

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Not disclosing accurate health information to an insurance company is dishonest (and criminal), not disclosing it to your doctor is stupid, but not disclosing it to people who have no right to know it is neither dishonest or deceptive.

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