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I am scheduled for sleeve in one month. I'm lifelong obese, was banded 7 years ago. I haven't told my family yet. They will not understand. They are cross fitters and health preachers. Although everything they do is not healthy. As many do, they deal with stress with alcohol, prescription meds,over exercising..... That is not a criticism. They don't understand emotional eating or food addiction. I also don't understand and often beat myself up for being so fat. I guess I'm asking if anyone else felt this way before having the sleeve and how you are dealing with it after the surgery. I want to be healthy, active and involved in life. /URL]

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@@cbonet I think therapy pre-op is so important. Obesity is a disease - there's no reason to beat yourself up. It's important to get emotionally ready for WLS. It's often more emotionally challenging than physically challenging. You won't have food to deal with your emotions and certainly don't want to turn to alcohol or prescription drugs as some family. Also - this is your journey - take care of yourself! We all have similar issues with food.

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I agree that therapy, both pre- and post-op can be extremely helpful.

In addition, consider attending bariatric support group meetings.

You may also want to consider a recovery group like Overeaters Anonymous. You can find meeting lists, podcasts, and other resources online at OA.org.

There are also lots of great books related to food issues. One you may want to read is Eat it Up! by Connie Stapleton.

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Consider this. I am a tell all. My husband of 25,years is private. Very. He decided when we were sleeved he didn't want the world to know. I thought that was impossible but his 31 year old son never knew. My 50 year old daughter knows. We have been together through this and it has been great that we don't have to discuss our weight and surgery with anyone. Such a sigh of relief. To each his own. At 67 we have changed our life, even though we cannot walk very far or exercise. We are so happy.

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I think it's time for you to put yourself first. Stop worrying about what other people think or say or feel about you. They don't matter, you do!

I only told my husband, my kids, a few besties and my mom and dad pre-op. I told them if they had anything negative to say, to keep it to themselves.

This surgery was about *ME*, no one else. That said, the quality of life it gave back to me benefited everyone in my life, whether they knew about it or not. ;)

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Thank you everyone. I am considering therapy. I have been to OA many times-it wasn't for me. I will definitely pick up the book. Putting myself first is what I need to do and dont have much practice with.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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