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Mourning the loss of food for comfort?



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I know that we all have different reasons for eating and different ways we came to be obese, so I'm specifically talking to those who are/were emotional eaters or used food for comfort. How did you deal with the loss of that after surgery? Were there times that you typically would've eaten to deal with things and suddenly found yourself uncomfortable without being able to do that?

Part of what held me back from surgery for so long was my fear of stressing out and NOT being able to eat about it. I know that's an unhealthy habit but it really does help me cope. I'm planning on continuing with therapy after surgery to learn better coping skills but what was your experience like?

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I used food as rewards. Bad day, I deserved something delicious. Good day, I deserved something delicious.

I worked that issue out before surgery. I learned to walk or distract myself if I was stressed or having a bad day with work. I learned to reward myself with lipgloss instead of monster steaks. Eventually I just learned to control my emotions better by eliminating a lot stress.

I don't think I could have done it post-op if I didn't work it out mentally pre-op. I spent probably 2 years before surgery working through my issues. Post-op there are way too many hormone issues I think to make those kind of changes and work through emotions just because all the emotions are so high. At least I couldn't have done it.

I removed my stress factors, which I suggest for anyone. That meant cutting a lot of toxic people from my life. Now when I get stressed, work can still be frustrating, I walk or exercise and that helps me think clearer and work through my problems.

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Comfort food equals my Mother and her teaching me to make biscuits, gravy, chicken and dumplings. I splurge at Thanksgivings or Christmas. Thank goodness my husband and I were sleeved together.

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I dropped a bit of weight during the months leading up to surgery. Felt good during that process. Felt like I was establishing control of finding comfort from food.

The 14 day liquid diet and the month I stayed on it post-op really were what unlocked this feel at a much deeper level.

Weight was falling off me and I was feeling the relief in my back and was able to drop all the steroids, pain meds and muscle relaxers. My thoughts were clear and my mind was focused.

The extended period on liquid only helped me break away from food and I've not viewed it the same since.....and am grateful for it.

I find comfort in smaller clothes, walking without intense pain, lifting weights and feeling that nice soreness in the days afterwards, interacting with others, doing public speaking to groups every day on my job and feeling great standing in front of them.

I finally.....after all these years.....realized that finding comfort in food was simply a lie. The food was poisoning me and making me dangerously heavy.

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Dub, you have done an amazing transformation! My husband had been large his entire life. After decades, he finally got rid of the 4x, 3x, 2x, and even 1x clothes. I am so happy he has been able to change his life. We would do it again in a heartbeat!

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food equals all of the good memories of family and friends. Sadly, I laughed about what I would do now since a big part of me loved to entertain and cook. I felt like I had no purpose. I just got my sleeve a few days ago, and guess what, people still love me. food has been my light, my go to for bad days. I had a food funeral last weekend for this purpose of saying goodbye you have been great, but you really almost killed me. That's when I knew I was ready to let go. I am still thinking about food today, but I remember what I did and for what. That kicks me right back into no regrets. When you are ready, you will know.

Sent from my SM-N910V using the BariatricPal App

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I think my plan is to quit caffeine and sugar in the few weeks before i start the liquid diet, that way i dont have to give everything up at once, lol.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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