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Confessions of a good girl gone bad...



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I turned into a monster after my surgery. I am not sure if it's hormones, stress, or hunger, or any other mysterious phenomenon...but I am trying to overcome it. Here's the thing: If you have been where I have been, and you have something valuable for me to learn, I will read your stuff. If I know the answer to a question you have asked, cool. You can read my stuff, too. Let's just agree to disagree if necessary. Everyone has their own experiences. I am just ready to get on with it and lose this weight...no amount of arguing or being hateful is going to make me lose it, so it's wasted energy. That's all I wanted to say.

Edited for clarification of a garbled sentence, UGH.

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I am where you are in terms of excess emotions. EVERYTHING makes me cry. Songs on the radio, commercials, every time someone wins a damn Olympic medal...or gets defeated. It's ridiculous. Someone said being overly emotional - bitchy, hangry, sad, whatever - comes from your fat cells releasing estrogen into your body making you a hormonal mess. I figure that's the issue. Plus we miss real food and are dealing with the healing process. I think we're allowed to feel however we feel right now. Acknowledge it and give yourself a free pass on this one. We've been through enough. Time to just focus on Protein, fluids and Vitamins.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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I was a hot mess for the first 6 months post op. Emotional, angry, elated, exhausted, high maintenance, energetic, miserable, excited -- all in the passing of about five minutes. EVERY five minutes.

I knew it, I owned it, I apologized for it. My family bore the biggest brunt of it, unfortunately, but because I realized it, I often put myself in time out when I needed to. When my mood was swinging, I stayed away from things that triggered my anger and channeled that energy towards cleaning or organizing or kickboxing the crud out of something.

This will pass. Just don't take it out on me, please. I mean well, I promise.

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@LipstickLady@LowBMISleever--Y'all are awesome. Thanks a bunch :)

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@@justhere4theshow Oh, girl. There have been a few instances in the past 6 weeks where I just about tore the head off one of the 3 unfortunate men in my house. My hormone-related insanity has been alleviated somewhat by the fact that I'm sliding into menopause, so I think the estrogen release is actually helpful at times...but oh, those other times. The dogs hide under the bed, the male humans scatter....

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I was on top of the world, feeling great for some time. Then I was really irritable and cranky. I am still not sleeping well due to my thyroid med getting too strong with each weight loss, and adjustments take weeks to work.

I also had a horrible, on-going stress last month, that the end result was depression.

So, this has been a Jekyll and Hyde journey for me.

I am waiting to get back to normal .... 5 months post op .... maybe another month for me? I hope so!

@@justhere4theshow

The hormonal dump can happen. Good luck with your recovery!

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2 weeks from my sleeve surgery. I agree lots of emotions some that are just hard to explain. Lots of support from hubby but still emotional at times. I think the trauma of surgery..life style changes...wanting not to fail (again) are just a part of it. Being invited to countless bbqs parties and reunions don't help either. I try to tell myself this too shall pass and it usually does, thank goodness. Nice to know it isnt just me. Hang in there, we can do this together.

Sent from my SM-N910P using the BariatricPal App

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My poor hubby. My kiddo has bipolar and wanted to try to go off her meds for the summer, so she's been tetchy, and I'm apparently about to get mondo PMS-y. He may want to strike a tent in the backyard or move into the garage. :D

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Thank you, ladies. I am very grateful for your kind words and support! This has been one of the most challenging times in my life, and I really want to get it right. I am glad to not be alone in all of it.

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I have very little patience now and snap at the drop of a hat and I'm almost 7 months out.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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@@cindyw41 I'm sorry you're having these issues, too. At least we can support each other. Thanks for the post!

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@@serenaud, I am perimenopausal and plan to ask my doctor about it for sure. It has gotten better, but I generally lose weight everytime it gets bad, so I am learning to roll with it. I religiously take my Vitamins and hit my Protein goals every day, but I do have to limit my carbs or I don't lose. I have hotly debated this issue with my NUT, and she finally agreed to let me go low carb with her blessing because I am painfully aware of my body's low tolerance for carbs. I do eat fruit daily, so I get some. I can't eat anything white or heavily processed. I am finally getting into a good groove, so I probably won't worry about it as much as I did when I first posted this. Thank you for taking the time to post a response! I am grateful for the support I have received here!

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I am 3 months out and feel like I have lost my mind. I am very emotional and cranky. I went the other day for my 3 month check up and they said it is our body hormones are going nuts cause it does not get what is going on. I am hoping it goes away quick!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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