Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

well he has definately moved on



Recommended Posts

I received a message from someone on Facebook that I didn't know, but they mentioned that my (soon to be ex) husband is involved in a new relationship. I didn't know who sent me the message and I didn't think much of it...at first. Eventually curiosity got the best of me and I did a tiny bit of looking around. For the record we have been separated for 6 months and have not started formal divorce paperwork yet.

I went to her facebook page and there are tons of pictures of the two of them, hugging, kissing, etc. Now, I hate to say negative things about other people's appearance, but...she's much larger than ever was even before surgery, and her face...well I just hope she has a nice personality. I'm sure I'm biased against her but it was really a kick in the gut. I know I shouldn't feel like this. He cheated on me, he made me feel bad about myself, he disrespected me, he ignored me, he never wanted to spend time with m, ehe put my needs last...I know I'm better off without him. But I feel so rejected and hurt. I can't help this feeling of "you dumped me for THAT?"

I just needed to get that off my chest.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I received a message from someone on Facebook that I didn't know, but they mentioned that my (soon to be ex) husband is involved in a new relationship. I didn't know who sent me the message and I didn't think much of it...at first. Eventually curiosity got the best of me and I did a tiny bit of looking around. For the record we have been separated for 6 months and have not started formal divorce paperwork yet.

I went to her facebook page and there are tons of pictures of the two of them, hugging, kissing, etc. Now, I hate to say negative things about other people's appearance, but...she's much larger than ever was even before surgery, and her face...well I just hope she has a nice personality. I'm sure I'm biased against her but it was really a kick in the gut. I know I shouldn't feel like this. He cheated on me, he made me feel bad about myself, he disrespected me, he ignored me, he never wanted to spend time with m, ehe put my needs last...I know I'm better off without him. But I feel so rejected and hurt. I can't help this feeling of "you dumped me for THAT?"

I just needed to get that off my chest.

Sophie you are going through a very difficult time right now. I have been where you are right now. You will never really know why or what attracted your husband to this other women and it really doesn't matter. What matters is you and taking the time to heal. My number one best advice i can give you is stay away from Facebook if you can't control yourself from peeking at them. This will only prolong the pain and make it harder for you to move on. Please trust me when i say that there is a great life on the otherside of divorce. It takes time to heal and grow.

Sent from my SM-N920P using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hope getting it off your chest will help you to move forward. It took a long time for me to work through my first husband leaving me. We had 5 kids under the age of 8 - and there was no infidelity on either side - I felt so betrayed.

After a time I can honestly say I hope is now wife is the love of his life as my husband is mine..... but it took quite a while for me to get to that point.

wishing you all the best in your new life........

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is it any consolation that she's gutter quality on top of everything you described? A stranger sending you a message about something that touches on your private life? Another "social media" lowlife freak and deservedly insecure and jealous.

You're hurting, yes, but you're better than that. Better than either of them individually or together. Sophie, if you calm yourself long enough to look at things as an outsider, you'll know you don't want him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't blame the messenger actually, the message was one of concern. Something like I see he is involved again are you ok. Since their name wasn't their real name I don't know who it was.

I really do appreciate the support here. I don't have many friends and it does help just to get it out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you hate saying things about others appearances, then don't. Don't take your anger out on the new girlfriend. He cheated on you, be disappointed and mad at him if you want; but she doesn't deserve your anger. Sounds like the relationship was over a long time ago, let it go and try and find a happy place in your life. Maybe this is a good thing and you can move on knowing that he is.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's totally human to be upset and annoyed and disgusted.

Eventually you'll move past those emotions and realize you're way better off...on to bigger and better!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@Sophie74656 I know it's easier said than done but - forget him! He was as bad for you as being obese! If he cheated on his wife - he'll cheat on a girlfriend! I don't think he goes after woman for their looks - he needs a doormat that he can control. Sadly, that's often obese woman who don't believe they deserve better. You are so much better off without him! I hope you truly know that!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry for your pain and can't imagine why someone would post that. remember, time wounds all HEELS!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You're hurting. For that I am sooo sorry.

It doesn't matter who did what to whom. You are hurting.

Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself time to wrap your head and heart around your new life.

It takes time---sometimes a great deal of time to mourn the loss of a marriage. Time doesn't always "heal" those wounds that cut so deeply. One can only hope to "calm" the hurt--leaving nothing in its place but a scar. It's the scars of such painful times that prove we were brave enough to give love a chance with an open heart.

Just because your spouse did not honor his vows, does not dishonor you in any way. Your integrity is intact. Integrity is what should keep your head held high, shoulders straight and your dreams of finding love again shining bright.

Until you are ready to love again, be kind to yourself. Learn to love yourself. Be your own best friend.

Life and love will circle around and scoop you up again.

I promise.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can have my husband... He's free, no charge lol. Hopefully that made you laugh a bit.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this especially at this time. The truth is you're on a brand new road. A beautiful, healthy, thriving road & everyone can come/tag along w/ you... If he's chosen someone else that doesn't take away from your greatness it just means he wasn't able to meet you where you are & who knows maybe that's a great thing! When one door closes another opens & you may have that wonderful man you've always dreamed of.

As far as the woman... Ugh I know it stings and its normal to point out the other person flaws but please just smile, nod & move on. Keep on your track & everything will fall into place perfectly for you. #hugs&support!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

post-296831-14707098490113_thumb.jpg

This will be you!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×