I received a message from someone on facebook that I didn't know, but they mentioned that my (soon to be ex) husband is involved in a new relationship. I didn't know who sent me the message and I didn't think much of it...at first. Eventually curiosity got the best of me and I did a tiny bit of looking around. For the record we have been separated for 6 months and have not started formal divorce paperwork yet.

I went to her facebook page and there are tons of pictures of the two of them, hugging, kissing, etc. Now, I hate to say negative things about other people's appearance, but...she's much larger than ever was even before surgery, and her face...well I just hope she has a nice personality. I'm sure I'm biased against her but it was really a kick in the gut. I know I shouldn't feel like this. He cheated on me, he made me feel bad about myself, he disrespected me, he ignored me, he never wanted to spend time with m, ehe put my needs last...I know I'm better off without him. But I feel so rejected and hurt. I can't help this feeling of "you dumped me for THAT?"

I just needed to get that off my chest.

I received a message from someone on facebook that I didn't know, but they mentioned that my (soon to be ex) husband is involved in a new relationship. I didn't know who sent me the message and I didn't think much of it...at first. Eventually curiosity got the best of me and I did a tiny bit of looking around. For the record we have been separated for 6 months and have not started formal divorce paperwork yet.

I went to her facebook page and there are tons of pictures of the two of them, hugging, kissing, etc. Now, I hate to say negative things about other people's appearance, but...she's much larger than ever was even before surgery, and her face...well I just hope she has a nice personality. I'm sure I'm biased against her but it was really a kick in the gut. I know I shouldn't feel like this. He cheated on me, he made me feel bad about myself, he disrespected me, he ignored me, he never wanted to spend time with m, ehe put my needs last...I know I'm better off without him. But I feel so rejected and hurt. I can't help this feeling of "you dumped me for THAT?"

I just needed to get that off my chest.

Sophie you are going through a very difficult time right now. I have been where you are right now. You will never really know why or what attracted your husband to this other women and it really doesn't matter. What matters is you and taking the time to heal. My number one best advice i can give you is stay away from Facebook if you can't control yourself from peeking at them. This will only prolong the pain and make it harder for you to move on. Please trust me when i say that there is a great life on the otherside of divorce. It takes time to heal and grow.

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I hope getting it off your chest will help you to move forward. It took a long time for me to work through my first husband leaving me. We had 5 kids under the age of 8 - and there was no infidelity on either side - I felt so betrayed.

After a time I can honestly say I hope is now wife is the love of his life as my husband is mine..... but it took quite a while for me to get to that point.

wishing you all the best in your new life........

Is it any consolation that she's gutter quality on top of everything you described? A stranger sending you a message about something that touches on your private life? Another "social media" lowlife freak and deservedly insecure and jealous.

You're hurting, yes, but you're better than that. Better than either of them individually or together. Sophie, if you calm yourself long enough to look at things as an outsider, you'll know you don't want him.

I don't blame the messenger actually, the message was one of concern. Something like I see he is involved again are you ok. Since their name wasn't their real name I don't know who it was.

I really do appreciate the support here. I don't have many friends and it does help just to get it out.

If you hate saying things about others appearances, then don't. Don't take your anger out on the new girlfriend. He cheated on you, be disappointed and mad at him if you want; but she doesn't deserve your anger. Sounds like the relationship was over a long time ago, let it go and try and find a happy place in your life. Maybe this is a good thing and you can move on knowing that he is.

It's totally human to be upset and annoyed and disgusted.

Eventually you'll move past those emotions and realize you're way better off...on to bigger and better!

@@Sophie74656 I know it's easier said than done but - forget him! He was as bad for you as being obese! If he cheated on his wife - he'll cheat on a girlfriend! I don't think he goes after woman for their looks - he needs a doormat that he can control. Sadly, that's often obese woman who don't believe they deserve better. You are so much better off without him! I hope you truly know that!

Sorry for your pain and can't imagine why someone would post that. remember, time wounds all HEELS!

the new girlfriend is involved with a married man. She's ugly,alright!

You're hurting. For that I am sooo sorry.

It doesn't matter who did what to whom. You are hurting.

Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself time to wrap your head and heart around your new life.

It takes time---sometimes a great deal of time to mourn the loss of a marriage. Time doesn't always "heal" those wounds that cut so deeply. One can only hope to "calm" the hurt--leaving nothing in its place but a scar. It's the scars of such painful times that prove we were brave enough to give love a chance with an open heart.

Just because your spouse did not honor his vows, does not dishonor you in any way. Your integrity is intact. Integrity is what should keep your head held high, shoulders straight and your dreams of finding love again shining bright.

Until you are ready to love again, be kind to yourself. Learn to love yourself. Be your own best friend.

Life and love will circle around and scoop you up again.

I promise.

You can have my husband... He's free, no charge lol. Hopefully that made you laugh a bit.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this especially at this time. The truth is you're on a brand new road. A beautiful, healthy, thriving road & everyone can come/tag along w/ you... If he's chosen someone else that doesn't take away from your greatness it just means he wasn't able to meet you where you are & who knows maybe that's a great thing! When one door closes another opens & you may have that wonderful man you've always dreamed of.

As far as the woman... Ugh I know it stings and its normal to point out the other person flaws but please just smile, nod & move on. Keep on your track & everything will fall into place perfectly for you. #hugs&support!

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This will be you!

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Thank you everyone for the support. I love you guys!

Right back atcha

omg Sophie I am in the same exact boat. My divorce was finalized last month. Early into my divorce proceeding a former mutual friend called me and told me that my husband was in a relationship. Eventually, I found out that he and his mistress slept together 2 days after our wedding anniversary. The mistress knew all about me and did not care. My ex-husband moved on before I even filed for a divorce. When I found his mistress on facebook, my jaw dropped. I too do not normally talk about people but this girl was and still is a hot, overweight mess. She is bigger than me, teeth messed up, double chins, the list goes on. But, my husband decided to carry on a relationship with her, knowing that she is nowhere near what he likes and do you know why? Let me explain. No offense to you, but your husband seems to go after women who have no self esteem and no confidence in themselves. It's easier for a narcissistic man to control and manipulate someone who has no self esteem, overweight, and no confidence. My ex-husband is the same way. When he met me, I was overweight and was getting bigger every year we were married due to emotional eating. During my divorce proceedings, different people came to me and explained how they disliked my ex-husband while we were married because they knew he was the reason I gained weight. And he was happy with me being overweight, because he felt that as long as I am overweight no one would want me. 8 months out from surgery and nearly 100 pounds down, he can't stand me because I built the courage to leave him and his abusive ways---and I left 3 weeks after I had surgery so weight loss was not the reason I left him. I left him because he was abusive to me and my kid. He was emotionally, financially and mentally abusive. And he was a cheater. What you are dealing with is rejection. I am still dealing with it myself. But, we have to try our hardest to see past the rejection and realize that they don't deserve us anyway. Our exes cannot be with us because we are too strong for them and I'm sure you're not as heavy as you used to be. As hard as this is, start telling yourself that you deserve better. Believe it or not, your ex has low self esteem. It may not look like it, but I promise you he does. Narcarcisstic and controlling people go after people they can control. And when they cannot control you, they will hate you. You are too good for your soon to be ex. He only moved on because he can't be alone. Same as with my ex husband. He moved on before I even filed for a divorce. But he did that because he cannot stand to be alone. All he did was find an overweight, unattractive woman and he is controlling her in more ways than one. Matter of fact, my ex controls his mistress so much that she neglects her teenage son just so she could lay up with my ex-husband. Just sad! But hey, that's their life. Time will heal all wounds. Just stay off facebook or block anyone who knows your husband. I blocked many in laws and friends because I didn't want them telling me my ex-husband's every waking move. I can't heal that way. Sometimes you got to cut people off. Change your name on facebook and change your privacy settings. Trust me, it will be the best thing you could have ever done. You are a winner and never forget that! One day, someone will come along and love you for YOU. You were too good for that loser husband