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Am I being naive?



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That I can have a normal relationship with food someday?

Another thread mentioned regretting never having pizza again. I plan on taking this very seriously, but I also don't plan on giving up having certain foods for the rest of my life. I've lost hundreds of pounds in my life. My most successful and long lasting attempts have included my favorite foods in moderation, allowing for the calories. The stricter the diet the shorter it was. Yes, I know. I always eventually grew frustrated or bored or derailed and stopped and the weight always came back.

Am I being naive that I'll be able to have a couple of bites of gourmet pizza, a special Pasta dish (pear and Gorgonzola ravioli with lemon cream sauce) , a bite of chocolate torte on my birthday as long as I plan for the calories?

I'm not talking about immediately after surgery, I'm talking months and years down the road. I'm not talking about a daily indulgence or even weekly. But I don't want to think about a life without good food at least occasionaly.

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The point is a lot of us have food addiction hints how we got obese. So putting in the food we eat before surgery has a higher risk of bingeing on it till we get sick Or only reaching for the high carb foods.... It's your belly and what you put in it is under your control... But do know a lot of people do fail and gain back the weight bc they reached for the carbs to many times.

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That I can have a normal relationship with food someday?

Another thread mentioned regretting never having pizza again. I plan on taking this very seriously, but I also don't plan on giving up having certain foods for the rest of my life. I've lost hundreds of pounds in my life. My most successful and long lasting attempts have included my favorite foods in moderation, allowing for the calories. The stricter the diet the shorter it was. Yes, I know. I always eventually grew frustrated or bored or derailed and stopped and the weight always came back.

Am I being naive that I'll be able to have a couple of bites of gourmet pizza, a special Pasta dish (pear and Gorgonzola ravioli with lemon cream sauce) , a bite of chocolate torte on my birthday as long as I plan for the calories?

I'm not talking about immediately after surgery, I'm talking months and years down the road. I'm not talking about a daily indulgence or even weekly. But I don't want to think about a life without good food at least occasionaly.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using the BariatricPal App

Normal? What's normal??

I am five years out and can not eat Pasta, rice, anything overly spicy or sweet.

I am one of the 17% of sleevers who experience "dumping".

But my new food choices has become my "normal".

Everyone's journey is completely individual. Will you ever be able to have pizza? Probably. Will you still want to eat pizza? Valid question.

Your tastes will change--most WLS folks' do. Can you have heavy pasta with rich sauces? Tough question. I would bet not so much. If the heavy pasta doesn't hit your sleeve like an anvil, the rich sauce probably will.

The theory is that you should be able to eat whatever you want and you can include in your daily menu/portions. Does that theory always prove to be true? NOPE.

I hope it will hold true for you.

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I don't think you're being naive. I have always had an all or nothing relationship with food, so when I was thin I was not allowed to eat certain things, and as soon as I did I totally fell off the wagon and gained weight. I am almost 3 years out and this is the longest I have consistently stayed at a thin weight and knock on wood, it doesn't take a whole ton of effort as long as I weigh myself everyday and make immediate changes if I start to gain weight.

Other than chocolate (which I only eat around the holidays because I just love it so much I am afraid I would eat it everyday), there isn't anything I am not allowed to eat. As a result, I have no real interest in the junk because I know if I want it, I can have it, and so I don't care that much about it. When it was forbidden I ate it all the time, but now, eh, it's there if I want it.

As an example, two weeks ago I had major dental work done and I managed to eat my way through two of those 4-pack boxes of Smuckers Uncrustables. Those are SO not healthy, but they were soft and didn't hurt my teeth and so I ate them. I didn't consider it cheating, and while I should probably not have had the second box, now that my teeth feel better I haven't had any interest in eating any more of them. I woke up about a week ago about a pound over my allowed 3-pound fluctuation, I ate healthier for a day or two, and now I am back to where I usually am, which was probably what I had to do t make up for those damn Uncrustables. On Saturday I had leftover lobster mac for lunch and lobster bisque for dinner...I then got to be sick, lol, but it was good for the 1-2 times a year I eat it.

I don't like pizza that much, which you mentioned in your post, and I don't really care about Pasta. I didn't care that much about that stuff before surgery, but I also get fairly immediately sick if I eat things that are heavily based in oil, butter, or heavy sugar or cream, so I have learned that when I really want something, I have it, it's good, and then I barf. So..I don't really have any great interest in usually eating it.

I would agree that being normal means that you can eat things in moderation. I got a 100 calorie pack of those meringue things today...they are still sitting on my counter and I have no interest in actually eating them. Before they would have been gone in an hour. I have my entire Easter basket of candy somewhere in my pantry...it's there, if I want it I can eat it, but eh, not that interested. When I go out to dinner, I order something I like, I eat a few bites, and then I take it home and eat a few bites a dozen more times, and I'm completely content. If I go to a party and I feel like having cake, I do, although mostly I don't much care about it anymore. I used to regularly (post-sleeve) have Panera paninis and all kinds of crap that wasn't actually on the diet because I knew that as long as I was within my calories, once or twice a week, having a cookie or two, half a cheese steak, or some creamy Soup was not going to hurt me and it gave me a chance to enjoy food. I think because I was not terribly compliant on the diet AND because I got lucky and I have a sleeve that does not have much tolerance for junk food, that is why I have been able to stay at goal.

Right now I'm going to go lay in bed with some crackers, I had a handful of combos for breakfast/lunch, and I had crackers for dinner. I didn't feel great today so I ate what I felt like eating which works out to maybe 600 calories. Keep in mind Saturday I had a serving of bisque and mac and cheese...for me, it all works out to be even in the end and like I said, as long as everyday I wake up and I am accountable to that scale, I can enjoy living a life that does not prevent me from eating anything I want in moderation.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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