In the considering surgery stage - so many questions and fears in my head!

[TracyBar 132]

Hello everyone. I'm looking forward to hearing what you all have to say about sleeve surgery. From those that are considering it and those that have experienced it. I've spoken to a facilitator over the phone and email and hope to meet her mom who lives near me as she has had the surgery as well and is a facilitator too. She's also close in age to me (I'm 54) and I thought that meeting her face-to-face may help me make a decision.

I'm in Canada and the hospital is in Mexico - it has a Canadian connection (I think owned by a Canadian woman) and meets very high standards. Although it's in Mexico I don't feel worried about the level of care, or the abilities of the doctors and staff. I've asked a lot of questions of the facilitator - to the point where I think I've asked more questions, or taken more of her time than she wishes to give. That did turn me off a little - it was only two phone calls and a couple of emails. I guess they have their limit as per how much they get paid?

As the hospital is in Mexico I don't get to meet the surgeon to discuss things and that's a worry for me. I'm relying on facilitators with no medical background, just the fact they've been through it and have had some training.

My biggest worry: REGRET. This is a permanent procedure. I read something where somebody commented - "why would anybody want to remove a perfectly healthy, functioning body part?!" I get this - it's what makes this whole thing a bit on the bizarre side to me. And what if I just cannot STAND the changes? What if I feel nothing but sorrow and regret and horror at what I've done to myself? There's no going back - this thought haunts me in the time that I've been considering this as an option to weight loss.

I don't see myself as somebody that is super obsessed with food. Not once have I ever gotten up in the middle of the night to eat something - not one time. I don't overeat. I choose the wrong foods a lot of the time and I love chocolate. My servings at dinner are likely too big, but I've never just eaten non-stop. Don't eat a bag of Cookies, nothing like that. I noted that I was putting on weight at 9 years old. I distinctly remember the moment I was aware of this. I've battled weight gain for much of my life. The thinnest I've ever been was when I was eating around 1200 calories a day, and working out (literally!) 2-3 hours PER DAY. Yup. I was super fit and looked good. This of course, was before I had 3 children. I'm a Weight Watchers "joiner" as my friend and I refer to ourselves. Never a WW grad, always a joiner. I did Weight Loss Clinic in my early 20's and lost weight. Up and down, up and down. Always weighing more with each subsequent weight gain. I'm sure what I've said here is pretty close to what each of you have experienced.

How do I deal with this fear of regret? I can't seem to move past it. I hear what my facilitator says - she doesn't know anybody that has regretted it. She says she has many, many relatives and friends that have done this surgery and they all feel happy about their decision. But I'm also speaking to somebody who WORKS for the hospital and from my point of view, is trying to bring clients in for the money (cost is $13,600 just for me, no companion). A bit cost prohibitive for us, and I haven't mentioned a thing to my husband - he won't have a clue how I feel as he's never had a weight issue in his life - but he'll sure feel reluctant about the money spent!

We all have our stories about our rock bottom. In fact, I have many rock bottom stories - each one, at the time, I'm thinking it's the worst thing that's happened to me. The most embarrassing, the most demeaning, the most sad I've felt. I don't see these rock bottom occurrences stopping because I'm not losing any weight.

I've dieted my way all the way up to this weight (I'm guessing my weight is around 250 lbs.) and in the last few years I've given up on dieting. I'll just end up losing it once again and then gaining it all back +more, so why try? Why keep doing that?

My biggest worries are:

1) Regret - what if I regret my decision?

2) Age - is 54 too old to do this?

3) Post-op diet - along with the pre-op 800 cal. a day diet (wow!), I'm worried about the weeks of liquid diet. I have to work, how will I do it if I'm starving? (my job can be intense and I have to be on the ball all the time).

4) I have chronic Migraines and see a Neurologist. Will the weight loss alleviate/lessen migraines, or make them worse?

5) Will I ever actually enjoy food again? Or be able to? We have a favourite restaurant - would hate if I can never again enjoy that sort of outing

6) No caffeine, no alcohol! OMG - that's harsh! I love wine and would miss that. But think it's 6 months off of it? Caffeine. Due to migraines I'm not supposed to have it at all, but I now just have a tea in the morning so guess I could do that. I do love my tea and wine though :-)

I so appreciate any comments, good or bad, that you can offer me. I do want to be truly happy in my own skin. I can't picture myself on the plane, in Mexico (never been there), and in the hospital going through with this. It just doesn't seem like a reality. And I really am fearful of the entire thing. My income is very important to my family and I still have a young child (almost 11) to care for. What if I don't recover? What if I can't work and cause my family to suffer due to me wanting to look good (okay, and hopefully ward off diabetes and other weight-related issues). Ugh… I'm a mess! LOL

Tracy

[trekker954 421]

There is an entire forum here on Mexico. http://www.bariatricpal.com/forum/486-mexico-self-pay-weight-loss-surgery/

You may find more answers there and likely recommendations for less than $13K.

First of all, I'm 62, so no you are so not too old. I'm going to Cleveland Clinic and my interaction with my surgeon lasted 5 minues before he turned me over to his staff. I won't see him again until the day of surgery. So much for expecting to talk to your doctors office. Granted I can call and ask questions of his staff anytime. I'm frankly quite impressed with the stories of those who head over to mexico. Again, do your research. Go over to the Mexico forum on the above link.

Good luck

Edited July 9, 2016 by trekker954

[Fredbear 397]

Not sure why a Canadian would bother with traveling to Mexico and paying for the surgery... all the Canadians I know who have had the surgery had it in Canada, for free.

[TracyBar 132]

FredBear - if I'm willing to wait for many years (up to 7 years) I could get it done for free here in Canada. This is why the Canadian that started WLF (Weight Loss Forever) has this clinic in Tijuana. For Canadians willing to pay to get it done sooner. I wish I could get it done here. It would alleviate many of my fears I'm sure.

[TracyBar 132]

Trekker954 - thanks for your reply. Good to know I shouldn't consider myself too old for surgery! I'll look for that forum

[anniebanana 167]

Except for traveling to Mexico to have the surgery, you sound very much like me. I am 51 years old and just had the sleeve done on Tuesday the 5th. I understand it is very scary because you have no idea what to expect in terms of outcome related to surgery and risks associated with that, but also with how you'll physically feel afterwards and down the road. I can't answer the part about down the road, but physically right now I can tell you 5 days post-op, my abdomen is sore, I am not supposed to bend or lift anything heavier than 10 pounds. I am on a liquid diet and my meals these past two days have been mostly Water or beverages in addition to 4 ounces of pureed Soup and 2 ounces of yogurt. I am not hungry for more. Even smelling yummy foods...they smell good but it doesn't somehow make the connection to my stomach and me wanting to fill it with whatever I'm smelling. It's a really weird feeling for sure. I can't drink very much liquid at a time, and it's a struggle to get in the required 56 ounces of Fluid, though I'm trying hard because one of the biggest complications early on is dehydration. Oh, and I lost 4 pounds yesterday! Surgery always comes with risks, and I went into mine worried about not making it through to the other side. The admitting nurse made me feel instantly at ease, though, and talked about the things I needed to do post-surgery, which made me start seeing past the actual surgery. She was a godsend. I would be very nervous if my plan was to do this in Mexico, but I admittedly know very little about having it done there. I do know that my patient coordinator got a bit annoyed with my questions at times, and that irritated me!

Your obesity will impact your family one way or another. 54 is not too old to do something to get yourself to a healthier place. I wish you the best of luck in your decision

Edited July 10, 2016 by anniebanana

[kmorri 1,689]

@@TracyBar I had surgery on May 16th and I'll be 57 years old in December and haven't regretted it for a second! However, you need to understand the surgery doesn't do anything that will help you choose healthier foods....the surgery does help with Portion Control and hunger.....but you indicated that you don't think portion control is the the main issue.

My point is after surgery you can still eat the wrong things and actually gain weight.....you have to make major life changes in order to be successful.

You asked if you would ever enjoy food again and I can tell you I absolutely do! I'm able to eat very small amounts and feel very satisfied......it doesn't take a huge plate of food like it did before in order for me to enjoy my dinner....now 2oz of meat and maybe a couple of bites of veggies is all it takes.

You're asking really good questions so keep it up. It's a big decision. Good luck to you in whatever you decide.

Edited July 10, 2016 by kmorri

[sarcruze 24]

Hi Tracy!!

A lot of your biggest worries are about the same as what I worry about. I have been watching youtube videos of people who've had vsg surgery and they are very informative about what to expect after surgery. Some get down to the nitty gritty and brought up stuff that I would've never thought about. Here is a link to a woman who goes into detail about the ugly truth of vsg 2.5 yrs post op the good and bad. Check out all of her videos

And this woman talks about 10 things she wished she known that would happen after u have vsg surgery, i would fast forward to the minute mark lol. I hope this both will help u on your decision. I would highly suggest watching quite a few of their videos and others peoples as well.