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Things you wish you'd known.



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No one has told me why I developed an abscess. A friend of mine who had the same surgery at the same place is gravely ill in hospital with an abscess on her spleen. Neither of our abscesses can be drained due to their dangerous positions.

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Where did you have your surgery and with what surgeon?

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I don't wish I knew how nauseated I would be, or I might not have done it! This was the best choice for me. I would have never been able to lose the weight like I have if I hadn't done it. I wish I knew how much better I would feel and I would have done it sooner. I also somewhat wish I knew how my personality would change. I don't take as much shit from people. I'm OK with that.

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I am in Doncaster and had my surgery on the NHS

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I had very little pain and went back to work after a week. I wish I had been prepared for the buyers regret phase. I had about a week (while I was recovering) when I kept having mental attacks of "holy crap, what did I do!" I know it was frustration over not eating, feeling wonky and all that but it did pass and now 1 month post op I have no regrets or doubts. Another thing that has been learn as I go is getting used to sipping Water. I live in the south and it gets to be 110 outside and I feel like I am constantly thirsty. I keep sipping but have learned that crushed ice and SF pop cycles work the best on helping you feel hydrated. I am still struggling on timing out my eating too. It seems so odd to put my fork or spoon down after each bite and savor the meal instead of cleaning my plate in 30 seconds. I am getting better though.

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@@tagyourit

I know exactly what you mean. I'm in GA in it's been HOT! I have a hard time remembering to stay hydrated now, so I know that and not drinking while eating will be one of the biggest challenges for me after surgery. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have "buyers remorse" probably up until I buy my first outfit hopefully several sizes smaller. lol! I'm just bad like that. I buy things online and immediately regret the purchase before they've even shipped. I am a work in progress all around.

Thanks for sharing though and good luck with your journey.

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I actually spent about 6 months researching WLS prior to going in for my consult. I feel I knew everything that I need to know. I am the type of person that has to have all the facts upfront. I watched videos on youtube, downloaded books from Amazon about WLS, talked to my doctor, went to support groups, and talked to my step-daughter who had gastric sleeve the year before.The information I got from these forums was very helpful. Most people didn't sugar coat anything. I was well informed about problems that could come up, what foods to have on hand for after surgery, what to do and what not to do.

This surgery was the best thing I have ever done for myself. I am 2 years out and am about 20 pounds under my goal. I still log everything I eat, everyday. We recently went on a 10 day trip to Hawaii, including a cruise. I continued to log and actually lost a pound. I never feel deprived. I eat what I want, but before I eat junk, I make sure that I have had all my Protein for the day. I can count on my hand the times I have eaten junk food. Just not interested in it anymore. That stuff is what got me fat. For me it all comes down to choices, and I choose being healthy over eating what will make me fat and shorten my life.

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The thing that I wished I would of known is I really did need WLS.

I wish I had known this earlier in life after decades of feeling miserable and frustrated about my body.

After 6 months I know now there is no way in the world I could of sustained the very low calories that I needed to loose the weight.

After decades of trying and failing on diets and pills I know now the surgery was the only answer to get this ridiculously stubborn fat off me.

Edited by WannabeH

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I wish I would have known that recovering after this surgery was not going to be a piece of cake. I was so happy I took 4 weeks off work. But It was soooooooo worth it!

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I had only 9 days off to go back to teaching and it was ok though I would have preferred a bit more.

Ok here's the scariest thing of all:

At 5 months post op I can now see how people go through all this just to gain every pound back! Period.

I've just gained back almost 10 and it scared the crap out of me cuz now I see that this operation is only a helping tool. By itself if you revert to your old eating habits you'll easily be fat as hell again.

I'm going back to pre-op diet today.

Scary as hell, this reality stuff

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I wish I had not been so scared to take control of my life about 10 years earlier. I truly believe that had I RNY about ten years before I may not have done so much damage to my joints. Waiting really is my only regret.

I had expected recovery to be so much worse than it really was, I did not expect to hate fast food and junk food so much. I did not expect that I would now crave quality Proteins, veggies and fruits. This is a great problem to have!

I do wish I had known that I was going to want to complete my weight loss journey by having plastics. I thought all this lose skin would not bother me so much but it does both from a cosmetic point of view as well as a medical point of view. Had I known I would feel this way, I would have saved for years to ensure I had enough money saved up to complete plastics. It just means it will likely take me longer to get there but I now know I won't stop until I look as good on the outside as I feel on the inside.

I now say this: Having a lot of loose skin is better than having all that fat, having the scars from plastics is better than having all that loose skin. Having just had my first plastics last week (brachioplasty), I am completely excited for my future.

And that makes me excited for anyone that is going to do it as well. You simply don't know until you experience walking up your first set of stairs 150lbs lighter.

I also wish I had known how supportive my family would be! I know mine has been through all of it with me and it is not easy for them seeing you go through a surgery like this. When I made the decision to change my life, I did not know how much it would impact their lives. But it does......

All of the pain from RNY and plastics is worth the end result!

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Yeah to the above message! Perhaps the biggest most wonderful change gthat I didn't see coming is the absense of pain or the great lessening of it. Joints, back, everything just doesn't hurt like before not carrying that horrendous weight around. I no longer live on advils and stuff like that.

But yes I second the wish I hadn't waited so long, I'm 60 and absolutely damage was done to the joints under all that weight. I've had to learn to modify greatly HOW I exercise.

And one other thing that I love: the damn operation seems to have sort of turned me into a vegetarian.

meats just don't go down or sit well, so it's just not a big deal. I'd always sort of flirted with the idea of not eating meat but this has made that very easy to do

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Rule 1: "This too shall pass." Meaning: Exactly as it says; try not to sweat the small stuff, and the bigger things, well, they shall pass at some point, hang in there.

Rule 2: Don't EVER say, "When will my life just return to normal?" Meaning: There is no such thing as "normal," because your "normal" before, is different from your "normal" now, which is different from your "normal" in the future. And remember, ALL of us have this surgery because we need to make a change...so why would we crave "normal" again?

Rule 3: Pay no mind to the Negative Nellies and the meanies out there. They haven't lived your life, so they don't own it, you do.

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I would say the biggest thing I had no concept of before surgery and have had to learn how to deal with after surgery is how strange being in public and interacting with strangers has become. Before, my experience was similar to many obese people's experiences - people often stared with thinly veiled (sometimes not so thinly veiled) disgust, looked down their noses at me, acted irritated and grossed out by my very existence. Even the not-cruel ones sometimes openly oggled me like I was some kind of sideshow. I've even had strangers confront me, telling me to go to the gym or put down my food and "just stop eating". Being utterly ignored was really my best hope of making it through social situations with strangers.

Now, I never get disgusted stares. Most people act as though I'm just another random person, which is a huge relief and something I'm still trying to get used to. Some people even return my smile. Today at the pool, a lifeguard hit on me. Generally, these new experiences have been great. However, there is this little wounded part of me who wonders "would that nice woman have been nice when you were 200 pounds heavier?" or "would that guy have smiled/nodded back when I greeted him politely, or would he have sneered in disgust at me when I was large?" I honestly HATE that I am plagued with these thoughts and worries. I feel like I can't even believe people when they are nice, because it feels like all of these nice people would have been completely horrible to me two years ago. Why am I suddenly human to them, when I most certainly was not before? Why am I suddenly worth basic human decency? It feels like no one is actually kind deep down, because I've seen the deepest, darkest, meanest parts of people (who are normally smiley and nice) emerge when I walked by at 400 pounds. "Nice" people became cold assholes. So now I'm trying to give people the benefit of the doubt, and I struggle with this whole thing, because I am, at my core, a positive person who truly loves humanity despite the cruelty I have suffered at its hands. I LOVE people and I want to smile and brighten their days, and be a little bit of positivity in a really selfish and negative world. This distrust/suspicion has been very difficult, though I recognize that this is my hangup and when all is said and done, judgment is something I never, ever want to be a part of.

I'm working on it. :P

I know the feeling, Cruz I've lived it too. Im already extremely caustious when dealing with strangers. As well as the weight loss I'm scared and excited to see how my interactions with people change. Its hard for me to forgive so if you treated me like crap at my heaviest, I want you keep treating me like crap when you think Im socially acceptable...sounds crazy I know.
Me too. I am getting mentally prepared to call people on their bullshit (I'm just that type of person) when they talk to me or invite me out or try to include me when they never did before. I hate that passionately.

~~ LadyDarkness415 ~~

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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