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Hi everyone,

I have decided to have the sleeve done after battling with my weight for years. I just want to be healthy. When I first told my family they were completely unsupportive even though they know how much I have tried and failed to lose weight on my own. I thought I would just do it and not tell anyone but the guilt of having surgery without my mom knowing if something were to happen was weighing heavily on my conscious. Fast forward to now I have now lied and told my mom that they are recommending the surgery because they found out my hormone levels are all out of whack because of a small BENIGN growth inhibiting secretion of these hormones that aid in metabolism and weight loss that is making it near impossible to lose weight on my own but besides that pose no other risk to my health. Now she is fine with me getting the surgery and is finally supporting me. But now I feel even guiltier. ugh what did I get myself into. Any thoughts or advice?

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I would just go forward with your surgery and life and not give any un-needed explainations to people. Wishing you all the best with your surgery and recovery.

I would want to know if one of my children were having surgery whether I agreed with them or not, so from a mom perspective I am glad you told her, but I know some people are just not safe to share things with - and that is not your fault. you are only responsible for you!

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come clean to your mom now, and explain why you felt you had to lie.

My mom doesn't know I had surgery and she never will. I am an adult and my medical decisions are none of her business.

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Jt925,

You alone are responsible for your health. You choose who and what to tell. I am 2 days post VSG, didn't tell my mom either. My mom and I are both doctors. She knows how hard I exercise. But I do not expect her to understand why I did this for myself. She would consider this too drastic, and a lack of discipline on my part. Maybe I will tell her someday, maybe I won't! I had the same feelings of guilt going in to surgery, now it's almost time to go home!

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

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I say do whatever makes you feel better..........if a heart to heart with her will help do it, but if it may make things worse wait until after surgery. You don't need extra stress going into major surgery.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      1. This update has no replies.
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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