Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Which Question or Suggestion Are You Sick of Hearing?



Recommended Posts

If your weight loss surgery is an extremely well-kept secret, you may not get too many people asking you questions about the why and the how. But if you’ve told even a few people about your surgery, you’re probably not so lucky. People ask all kinds of questions, ranging from the reasonable (“What kind of diet do you have to follow?”) to the accusatory (“Why didn’t you just lose weight the natural way?”), and from the innocent (“Do you ever feel any side effects from surgery?”) to the suggestive (“You shouldn’t be eating that, should you?”).

Some questions or suggestions come up over and over again – often to the point where you want to wear a sign on your forehead with the answer. For me, one of the most annoying is, “Do you feel guilty that you still have the lap-band in even though you don’t need it anymore?” I don’t think the question itself is too bad, as such questions go, but it gets old. Yes, I have the lap-band. Yes, I intend to keep it in. Yes, I like having it. Sometimes it’s filled, sometimes it’s not.

So what question are you sick of hearing?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The next person that tells me to start eating sweet potatoes I am going to punch in the face.

I don't have people comment on my surgery, but they comment on my low carbing all the time and are always trying to force "good" carbs on me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How did you do it? Honestly it is getting old trying to discern who I am comfortable telling and who I am not.

If I do share that I had surgery it is always followed by people sharing the horror stories or them wondering if I get sick a lot. For someone like me who has yet to have dumping, always feels pretty good it can get old.

It's almost like a canned response that has become mechanical.

If it is someone who really is interested because they themselves have been considering surgery I don't mind talking all day about it. That is rarely the case though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hear, "After 5yrs and your "stomach" hasn't "stretched"? Impossible. I've heard this and I've heard that from so and so, and I KNOW that your "stomach" has stretched"



I have to wonder why did that person ask the question if they already "knew" the answer. ;)



But, I always answer with as much patience as I can muster, thinking that if they asked there is an interest , and I'm all for explaining WLS.



There aren't too many of us "sleevers" around here who are 5ys post op. Way back when WLS was mostly by-passes and bands. Even with visits with my bariatric team here in the Catskills, I am some what of a novelty. She and I are "mapping as we go", not having anyone's journey before me to resource.



My journey has been unique and I own it. I plan to make it a joyful one from here on out. :)


I

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"How much weight have you lost?" and "How did you do it?" (I'm not "out" to too many people - mostly just my family and close friends)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When the question "How much weight did you lose?" started to bug me, I noticed it quickly decreased once I was significantly slimmer. The only person that kept asking at 2 months out was someone interested in WLS. In lieu of "How much weight did you lose? " I'm getting more "You look great!"

What I find hilarious was when I put 2 Oreos in a carton of fat free milk and a fellow nurse (who formerly worked on a Bariatric floor and is overweight herself) gasped and with wide eyes said, "Are you not suppose to eat that?" Ha! I just smile and keep shedding the pounds away. bmi.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Most people at work don't know I have LapBand.

Those are the ones who ask:

"How much have you lost?"

"I don't generally discuss the numbers. I keep it private."

"But it must be a lot! How much?"

"Yes, it was a lot."

"No, really, how many pounds? 30?"

"A bit more than that." (I had lost 120 the last time I was asked this last week in the ladies' room.) "Gotta run! Bye!"

JustWatchMe

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am literally so sick of people who know about my surgery asking me if I can eat _________. What do I look like? Google??!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My surgery is pretty much a secret but BOY do I get questions about my small portions and low carb choices. If they have already posed these questions before, I just smile at them like they are an idiot for asking and continue the conversation as if the question was never asked.

If they have never asked the question, I simply answer with a standard, I try to eat 6 small high Protein meals a day. SMILE. End of discussion.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The "How much weight did you lose?" question bothers me a little.

Not because I feel it is intrusive, but because I am embarrassed of how obese I allowed myself to become.

People who have asked I honestly tell them; they have always been very happy for me and supportive. Sometimes a little shocked because they didn't realize I weighed that much.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm fairly open about my surgery and will tell anyone who asks.

What I hate most is every time I tell someone, they come back with a horror story. "My niece got the lap band and didn't lose any weight." "I know someone who had gastric bypass and they gained all their weight back." "My coworker popped his lap band after overeating too much."

My response is always "I'm sorry to hear that. It's working great for me." That's usually the end of it. What I do know is oftentimes the folks who fail typically are the ones who don't listen to their surgeons, do not receive follow up care, or think it's some kind of miracle cure where they don't have to make any effort or change their habits. Knowing this helps me shrug off everyone else's stories!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Definitely the "how much weight have you lost?"

Annoying!!

just tell someone they look good and move on. I would never ask that question .

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Stop shoving unnatural stuff down your throat (protein supplements), why are you eating (a scoop of ice cream in my sugar free Protein shake). Are you pleased with yourself now that you have purposely had holes poked in you?? You are going to become anorexic. Good luck fixing that problem. Stop experimenting with your body, you will not be able to conceive..."

Thanks mom.. So much positivity..

English is my 6th language so forgive me if my sentences don't make any sense at times!

Edited by Lema

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OMG, Please don't let it be true, you don't have cancer, do you?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×