First Post ~ Surgery is around the corner ~ so many thoughts

[BarefootDrummer 108]

Hello. Probably like many of you, I've had weight issues since I was a young child. I have done many successful diets throughout my life (42 now) but have gained the weight back every single time (despite every time being "the last time"). I've considered the surgery several times in my life, but then in researching always come back to, "well I could just eat that few of calories without the surgery". Now I've gotten to the point where I feel like I don't want to go through this weight loss process again. I NEED for this to be the final time. And I have decided to pursue the sleeve surgery because it seems like a tool that might just be able to help me actually KEEP the weight off this time.

I've been doing a lot of healing work in my life the last couple of years and have made really big changes to the way I live and move through this world. I find that the one thing that is still holding be back from becoming the person I want to be is this darn weight though! I need to break free. I feel like the weight restricts me in so many ways. I want to be a really active person. I love doing outdoor things, running, biking, climbing mountains, riding horses, and playing with my kids. I lose weight and get to do all those things, get a taste and BAM, I'm overweight and restricted again. My body hurts. It's falling apart and I want out! This time, the surgery seems like a real, valid option.

I had my first visit with the surgeon in January. I told my best friend, who has always struggled with weight too, but I didn't tell anyone else, not even my husband. My insurance requires the 6 month diet/visits, and I kept thinking I'd tell him after this appointment, or that appointment. I finally told him just last week! He was super supportive and it feels like a weight off my shoulders having him know now.

I really don't want to tell the rest of the world though. I'm embarrassed that I'm overweight. I feel like when you tell people you are doing/or have done WLS, they feel they have the right to judge you. They feel they are allowed to offer up their opinions, tell you how they think you should do it, and tell you if they think it's taking an easy way out. I feel like in so many judgemental people's eyes having surgery is "the easy way out" and like it's expressing ultimate failure. "She can't even eat right and exercise. She just has no willpower." I'm sure all or most of you know the truth. This is NOT the easy way out. It's a tool that will help me IF I do things the right way. You still have to work hard. It's not a free pass. But people who have only struggled with 5-20 pounds in their life, just can't understand the battle behind all of this. I've lost hundreds of pounds in my lifetime with all of these diets. They have no idea what you've gone through and what brings you to this point. I just don't want their judgment!

I realize that I don't have to tell anyone. This is my life and my decision. I had surgery on my uterus to help my heavy periods and didn't feel like I had to run that by everyone, see if they approved, if they thought I'd struggled enough with dealing with it without surgery. LOL. Why is this different? Yet, I feel like part of me doesn't want to carry the secret, like that in itself will weigh on me as well.

Have any of you struggled with this? I think it's probably best to not tell others for right now. Maybe I'll feel different after surgery?

I have teenage children and I'm not sure how it will go not telling them. They have seen me do all sorts of diets though and I have been going away for classes I'm taking, so I might be able to get away with it.

I've met most of my requirements now and surgery is around the corner. Yesterday the dietician explained the "stage 2" liquid diet to me and I met with the psychologist for the second time. The plan is for them to discuss me at their next group meeting, then submit to insurance for authorization. I think I could be approved for July surgery, but it's a busy month, so I think early August might be more likely.

I'm really excited about the future and finally being free to be the real me once again, and I'm scared as well.

[Montana Gal 448]

Welcome! I know it's scary and yes it's a huge decision. It sounds like you have done a lot of work on yourself mentally and I think that's a major key to sucsess in this process. You are right, it's your decision who to tell and not tell about your surgery. I told one person, my mother, and that's it. If anyone asks how I am loosing the weight I just tell them I have committed to a high Protein, low carb lifestyle. When you come home after surgery you will be sore and on different stages of dietary restrictions....I don't see how you can keep that from your teenagers. I think they will notice, so in my opinion it might be a good idea to have a talk with them. You might be surprised at how happy they will be that you decided to become a fit, active and healthy mom. This was the best decision, my only regret is not having it done about 10 years ago. Keep coming to this forum, ask a lot of questions. You will do great!

[BarefootDrummer 108]

Thanks Montana Gal. I think having support is key as well and if I'm not going to tell a bunch of family and friends, then I think having a group like this will be really beneficial.

[KristenLe 5,980]

@@BarefootDrummer Welcome and best of luck on your journey!!!