Food Funeral

[PinkMagnolia 12]

My surgery is July 21st, and I feel like I am going to a food funeral. Like, every time I eat something, there is a slight feeling of, ok who am I kidding? I feel like it will be the last time I'm going to be able to eat whatever it is I'm eating. My husband, who is very healthy and fit naturally, and I have talked about how our relationship with food is going to change. Our Anniversary was a week or so ago, and I thought to myself, what will we do for celebrations etc. I know part of this is anxiety, and partly because I feel like I have a good while to go until pre-op diet and then surgery.

Edited June 5, 2016 by PinkMagnolia

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

It's hard for you to understand this at this point in your WLS career, but your worry really is for nothing.

Yes, for several months post-op while your new sleeve heals your sleeve's capacity will be ridiculously small. But that's not what it will be like long-term. Certainly by next year's anniversary date you'll be able to have a nice meal at a nice restaurant -- although you will either take home a doggie bag or leave some food on your plate.

Still, you should definitely expect your relationship with food to change. At least I hope that it does -- because that's the only way you'll maintain your weight loss.

In my case, food is just as delicious and interesting as before. But I don't eat as much as I used to. And I sure don't eat as impulsively as I used to.

If you wind up being a WLS success, you will learn how to plan your menus so they're nutritious and portion-appropriate for your goals (whether you're losing or maintaining).

And you don't have to continue those ridiculous pre-op food funerals. Those foods are neither leaving the planet nor will you be unable to enjoy appropriate portions of them down the road. Pigging out on them now is only adding more pounds you'll have to lose later on and disrespecting yourself.

Ultimately, your WLS success depends on your desire and ability to care well for yourself. You can do this. But only if you choose to.

[PinkMagnolia 12]

Just to clear the air, I haven't been pigging out, but I do notice myself having more anxiety at the thought of never being able to eat stupid stuff. Like asparagus. And Cauliflower lol. So your advice really helps. I definitely appreciate what you said about food being just as delicious and interesting as before, and giving me some expectations for next anniversary!

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[LipstickLady 25,682]

Just to clear the air, I haven't been pigging out, but I do notice myself having more anxiety at the thought of never being able to eat stupid stuff. Like asparagus. And Cauliflower lol. So your advice really helps. I definitely appreciate what you said about food being just as delicious and interesting as before, and giving me some expectations for next anniversary!

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You should be able to eat anything BUT if there is a food or three you can't? You won't miss them.

I used to love rice, Pasta, ice cream, soft bread. Now those foods make me feel nauseated and shakey if I eat more than a bite or two. I no longer want them.

Most of us have a drinking story, right? In high school, senior beach week, I drank so much peach schnapps, I puked for two days. Now I can't smell it without wanting to vomit.

It's just like that, but better.

[PinkMagnolia 12]

Yeah you're right lol. Tequila makes me want to barf just thinking about it. And beer kills me now, so I can see how I would pay for it.

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[AvaFern 3,516]

I had food funerals too, but the others are right in that a few months after surgery you can eat almost everything you want to and for the things you can't really tolerate, you won't care much. I thought I would miss ice cream, smart puffs, lean cuisines, and Chex mix. I haven't had ice cream in probably a year, purely because I know it's not good for me and I have no craving for it. I can eat smart puffs or Chex mix if I want to, but I just never really want to. Lean Cuisines are now gross to me. Fortunately I was never big on fatty or fried things because now they make me sick, and while I loved sweets before, now sometimes they make me nauseous, but mostly I just don't really care about them. For me, the trick was being able to eat whatever I wanted to, if I wanted to, without it being prohibited. I used to go on diets where the rule was no sweets, or no carbs, and in a few days that's all I wanted, I'd eat one piece and figure, hey I ruined the diet, why bother continuing. Now, if I want any of that stuff I can have it, I'll eat a few bites of it, it will make me feel like I want to die because I never eat it anymore, and then I'm good again for awhile.

I love chocolate so at Christmas my rule is I can have as much chocolate as I want and the rest of the year I try to avoid it unless I'm at a birthday and everyone is eating chocolate cake or something. The first year after the sleeve I ate my face off at Christmas. The second year I had a few types of chocolate, but mostly just bags of M&M's for about a week. This year, I had no major interest in it, but New Year's Eve I decided I was allowed to have as much as I wanted. I bought a bag of that chex puppy chow stuff (ok I bought 2 bags in 2 flavors), brownies, Peanut Butter cups, and a few other things. I ate a few handfuls out of both bags of puppy chow, 2-3 Peanut Butter cups, and half a brownie before I was like, ok, I don't feel great now and that didn't taste that good. I haven't had a bite of chocolate since and I have no real craving for it.

So...while it feels like you are giving up all the food you love, you really aren't, and in the long term all the things you feel like you're missing out on (cake, Cookies, ice cream, burgers) won't be things you really care about anymore. At least, fortunately, that's how it worked for me.

[Sophie74656 1,572]

what i have discovered 8 months post op was that the food funerals were unnecessary. I have not had to give anything up. I still eat the same foods I did before just less. I still go out to restaurants and actually enjoy it more. The only thing I gave up was buffets, but I have been to a good sushi buffet twice since surgery and was able to enjoy it. Personally I don't consider any food "forbidden" I just eat small amounts. I eat ice cream if I want, bread, Pasta, again, just in small amounts

[PinkMagnolia 12]

AvaFern that helps SO much. My husband will be like..see told ya! I love hearing that I'm not the only one that's thought this!

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[Dub 10,064]

Just to clear the air, I haven't been pigging out, but I do notice myself having more anxiety at the thought of never being able to eat stupid stuff. Like asparagus. And Cauliflower lol. So your advice really helps. I definitely appreciate what you said about food being just as delicious and interesting as before, and giving me some expectations for next anniversary!

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Good for you for not engaging in the lunacy of saying goodbye to various foods.

It's a stupid concept that sleevers need not worry about.

You'll be able to have whatever you care to have once you are post op. You will still be able to enjoy pizza....only it will be a slice or two.....not the whole pie. Same with anything else. You will enjoy responsible size portions.

The beauty of it is that you'll not want to eat garbage foods, though. You'll most likely grow to crave the things that are helpful and healthy. For instance.......I get lathered up thinking about salmon fillets or steaks........chicken breasts on the grill........guacamole and the like.

You'll be able to have whatever you want......but you'll choose wisely in spite of this.

Sleevers can begin to lose right away......day one of their bariatric process......not wait until the liquid pre-op diet.

[Read2016 658]

I'm pre-op too... I don't think I've been having food funerals in that I'm pigging out on certain things but I've become more aware of food... Yes I'm obese so I haven't just discovered food lol... I've already started on a high Protein diet since May 25 when I met with the surgeon.. The other night I was wanting some ice cream, I got it but I found after a few licks I decided I just didn't need anymore... I feel like I'm more conscious about the fact bad food choices combined with overeating has gotten me to where I need surgery... I do plan at some point after surgery to have foods that are ice cream Cookies etc... But in moderation... Cookies are a trigger for me so those I may not have for a long while out from surgery...

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them"

Einstein

[reachbree 140]

I initially thought that I would have a food funeral, but honestly after doing this pre-op for almost a week now I feel great! I have energy that I havent felt in a while. as of right now that energy feels so much better than how fries and ketchup taste. Not to mention the pounds are melting. I will say that I have a close friend who had vsg and while she has been really successful and have dropped over 100lbs, she is picking weight back up pretty quickly because she may not eat a lot BUT the foods she is eating just arent good. This is a fear of mine....

[KristenLe 5,980]

@@reachbree It is definitely a lifestyle change - for life! We have to eat healthy and although there are some foods we can have eventually - it's all in moderation. I'm finding therapy pre-op very helpful in developing good eating habits and learning how to avoid emotional eating.

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,900]

No funeral is necessary, food did not die.

You should be able to eat the same foods, post surgery, in time. Just in moderation and for many foods, a lot less frequently.

This is a lifestyle change, not a prison sentence.

[PinkMagnolia 12]

No funeral is necessary, food did not die.

You should be able to eat the same foods, post surgery, in time. Just in moderation and for many foods, a lot less frequently.

This is a lifestyle change, not a prison sentence.

Right thanks for the clarification, of course I'm aware that it's all a lifestyle change. I'm choosing this for myself, not being forced into it.

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[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

I had a food funeral and i don't regret it one bit.... it actually was therapeutic in the sense of i let go of my old lifestyle that day and started a new one.

I took a picture of me eating my last pre op bite... and now being 6 weeks out... i look at it and im like... damn i have lost weight since then.. its sort of symbolic for me... and having my favorite "big meal" was my funny way of having closure.

If you feel you need one... have it... just don't make it a month long thing, pick one or two of your favourite meals and enjoy it