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A truly lousy couple months

Briardlady

By Briardlady, in The Lounge

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Briardlady    73

Briardlady
Posted

I'm giving special thanks that I have a sleeve. I think without it, I would have put on ten pounds these last two months. First, I had a litter of pups with a mother that didn't have enough milk, and thought simulating pups to pee and poop was not her job. Lots of lost sleep, lots of work.

That was the easy part. A good friend called me five weeks ago from an ambulance on the way to the hospital, asking me to go get her dogs from her house. Then she dropped out of sight. I had to start calling hospitals the next day to find her, only to find it that she was in ICU on a ventilator. Had to call her son in another state, found out she'd had a massive heart attack, the phone call to me was about the last thing she said to anyone. She then had a stroke, kidney failure, liver failure, Fluid in the lungs, paralysis, dialysis.... everything that could go wrong did. She spent two weeks on the ventilator. So I'm coping with puppies and buyers in two countries, trying to visit her every couple days, helping her son deal with her house, etc, and adding her dogs to my bunch. There wasn't a stress free moment.

Then after 4 1/2 weeks of hell, a day after I saw her last, she died just days after being moved to a skilled nursing facility. Alone, at 3 a.m. We had tried for weeks to get her dog in to see her (registered therapy dog, my friend visited hospitals regularly for years, her life revolved around her dogs), and she never got to see her dog again. With the paralysis, she couldn't talk, but she was in there, totally aware of what was going on. It was so hard to see her like that. Unbelievably hard.

And I'm angry at her. She was morbidly obese. She saw what great success I've had with the sleeve, she has the same insurance I have where she would have had to only pay $250 for surgery, but she just wasn't ready. Her sister died several years ago following a stroke related to uncontrolled diabetes, but my friend didn't take her meds for her diabetes. Her knees were bad so she didn't exercise. I'm angry at myself, should I have pushed her much harder to look at surgery? I don't think it would have made any difference, but that thought niggles at me.

And I'm afraid. I was morbidly obese for maybe thirty years. My friend didn't know she had blocked arteries. What time bombs is my body holding? Can I get my HMO to do the testing needed to check my arteries, and whatever else is needed? Watching what happened to her up close and personal just scares the hell out of me. That could have been me 135 excess pounds ago.

I just needed to put all this in writing. I have been so thankful these last few weeks for my tool, it has kept me from gorging myself on my old stress friends, Hershey kisses and French fries. And it gives me hope that I won't follow my friend to an early, painful death.

Her memorial service is tomorrow. I hope it really does help me with some closure, but I think that is going to take some time.

Jeanne

Sent from my SM-T230NU using the BariatricPal App

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James Marusek    5,244

James Marusek
Posted

Sorry to hear all about your problems. Hope things improve soon for you. It may have not done any good to try and push your friend toward surgery. My mom was diabetic and she would do the least amount of movement possible throughout the day. I tried to encourage her to get up and about more, but she refused to listen. She didn't leave her house for over 10 years unless I took her to her doctors appointments. She was the reason why I had the operation. I saw what diabetes was doing to her and decided I did not want to follow the same path. And she was the only one that made negative comments about my weight loss after surgery. And now she is in a nursing home because she has even lost that little mobility she had left. They have to use a machine to lift her out of bed and into a wheel chair.

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jane13    2,256

jane13
Posted

@@Briardlady so sorry to hear about your friend. Like you I watched family and friends get so big and develop issues like diabetes that I decided to get WLS. Best decision I made, just wish I hadn't put it off.

she knew you were there and find some comfort in that.....

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VSGAnn2014    12,992

VSGAnn2014
Posted

Consequences.

P.S. You did good, @@Briardlady .

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Christinamo7    4,042

Christinamo7
Posted

Thank you for coming here and sharing this story. I hope that putting it all in writing is also helpful for you.

keeping you in my prayers tonight. We are doing better because we know better. I hope your ticking bombs turn out to be diffused.

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LadyK44    263

LadyK44
Posted

I have watched my sister any mother die due to uncontrolled health issues. Don't give up and work you program. Also, go take the darn test that you need. Living in denial is quick road to an early death. Take care of yourself!

Sent from my SM-G935P using the BariatricPal App

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LadyK44    263

LadyK44
Posted

I have watched my sister any mother die due to uncontrolled health issues. Don't give up and work you program. Also, go take the darn test that you need. Living in denial is quick road to an early death. Take care of yourself!

Sent from my SM-G935P using the BariatricPal App

Sent from my SM-G935P using the BariatricPal App

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LadyK44    263

LadyK44
Posted

I have watched my sister any mother die due to uncontrolled health issues. Don't give up and work you program. Also, go take the darn test that you need. Living in denial is quick road to an early death. Take care of yourself!

Sent from my SM-G935P using the BariatricPal App

Qqqqq

Sent from my SM-G935P using the BariatricPal App

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Sharon1964    2,530

Sharon1964
Posted

Just thinking about you.

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Babbs    14,681

Babbs
Posted

Try not to beat yourself up. We are only responsible for our own actions and reactions, not everyone else's. You've been through a lot, try to take care of yourself. Your friend would want you to.

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anewme2015    345

anewme2015
Posted

You have been dealing with so

Much and it is commendable that you have done so without resorting to self-sabotage with emotional eating. What strength you have! I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Thanks for sharing your story and stay strong. You have a very different path ahead of you. I wish you the best.

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BandtoSleevechick    171

BandtoSleevechick
Posted

So sorry for your loss!

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RILEYSMOM22    344

RILEYSMOM22
Posted

Hugs to you. So sorry for your loss.

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      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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      1. This update has no replies.
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      1. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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