Crossing the Dunes

[JoeVegas 59]

What better view could there be at a Jersey shore vacation rental right ? Now look closely, you will see the barricade. What ? You only see the dunes and some flimsy fences ? That's the obesity boundary. It keeps me here on the deck while the "normal" people are on the beach.

Oh I know there are plenty of fatties down there (maybe not too many my size with a 63 BMI) but I'm somehow different than them. Something keeps me here. It probably wouldn't be worth it for me to go down anyway. It wouldn't be comfortable. Physically it would be agonizing to get there. Then I'd have to plop myself on a blanket because let's face it there aren't beach chairs for me. All the while I would have to pretend countless eyes were not fixed on me wondering why I was there.

Ok I get it - overly dramatic I know. But the dunes are a metaphor to me. A hurdle I have to get over, since its been almost 25 years since I've enjoyed a day on the beach. This pre-op journey has stolen many hours of sleep from me. I fret over wether I'm making the right decision at 55 years old. I'm fearful I may not survive the surgery. I fantasize I'll be the first person the "method" doesn't work for. And I dread gaining back the weight if it does. Soon I'll have a surgery date. I bet I don't get any sleep then.

I swear I try to focus on the positives. I tell myself this will be the last time I sit up here and watch as my family crosses the dunes and goes down "there". But my mind isn't letting me believe it just yet. It's as if I got myself to this point and my head is making me pay the price by allowing me to think I am stuck like this for whatever limited time I have left. I've had plenty of therapy so I realize my logical mind is disconnected from my emotional mind. I just hope they can get together in time for this surgery and before the 2017 beach season.

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[jaxmom 643]

Hey JoeVegas...

Gulp. Your post made me have a lump in my throat... I completely understand the dunes. I've seen them myself. They are horrible.

It's not an easy thing to talk about because not everyone in the world understands the pain of unseen barriers. I think you it's amazing and brave that you are taking the steps by having this surgery to get on the beach.

And you will. I can't wait to watch your process and can't wait to see the pictures from the beach of the deck. Have faith. You so can do this. Check out some of the amazing stories members have shared. It's not always easy and does take a lot of commitment but it sounds like you have the right mindset and motivation.

Thank you so much for sharing and keep us posted with your surgery date.

Take care.

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[jane13 2,256]

@@JoeVegas like @@jaxmom I am looking forward to you getting thru your surgery and working towards your Summer 2017 beyond the Dunes pics.

Focus on post-op prepping and keep us posted when you get your date.

jane

another Floridian who has crossed the Dunes...I have your beach chair ready (aka losers bench!)

[krazy kat 107]

Oh you guys got me in tears! I feel you JoeVegas!! I'm so tired of sitting on the side lines watching my life pass me by. I'm pre op too and everything you mentioned has crossed my mind!! Can't wait til next year this time...we'll both be on the beach in different cities!!

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[Christinamo7 4,041]

last summer I went to the sleeping Bear Dunes in Northern Michigan, I go there most every summer, but last year I couldn't climb the dune to see Lake Michigan from there.

This summer I am going to climb the dune.

I can't wait to see your progress and your success next year!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

We own a house in Kitty Hawk, NC and I missed years of running the dunes with my kids. I could get up there once (but barely) but once I came down, I wasn't going back up again. I certainly wasn't going to try to make it to the bay because that required crossing three more dunes.

Two summers ago, I crossed those dunes. I ran up and down those dunes 5 or 6 times. I hung in there with my kids because I could. Seriously the best summer ever. And yes, I can still do it.

You can totally do this. You owe it to yourself and your family. And when you get down there, you are going to LOVE it again.

XXOO

[Andrea72 510]

@@JoeVegas

Like @@jaxmom I too have a lump in my throat.

First, I want to thank you for having the courage to post this. More so than not, I have those same thoughts and fears. I absolutely hate that you are going through it, but I find relief in knowing I'm not the only one.

9 weeks post op, however many pounds down, and countless acquaintances shocked at the loss, yet my mind will not allow me to trust them, the process, or the numbers on the scale.

One thing I am very happy about is this forum. I have met some of the most friendliest people ever and no matter what I might be freaking out over at the time, there is always someone to bring me back to reality without judging.

One thing that someone told me that I'm constantly repeating to myself on a daily basis is...

"You will not be the one person surgery will not work for. Just trust the process".

We can do this. One second at a time.....we can do this.

Congratulations on your journey and please keep us posted.

[DeletedMember 715]

last summer I went to the sleeping Bear Dunes in Northern Michigan, I go there most every summer, but last year I couldn't climb the dune to see Lake Michigan from there.

This summer I am going to climb the dune.

I can't wait to see your progress and your success next year!

Not to hi-jack this thread, but if you are up in that area I highly recommend tubing down the Platte River. Very inexpensive and really fun. You can check it out at canoemichigan.com.

[Christinamo7 4,041]

last summer I went to the sleeping Bear Dunes in Northern Michigan, I go there most every summer, but last year I couldn't climb the dune to see Lake Michigan from there.

This summer I am going to climb the dune.

I can't wait to see your progress and your success next year!

Not to hi-jack this thread, but if you are up in that area I highly recommend tubing down the Platte River. Very inexpensive and really fun. You can check it out at canoemichigan.com.

I've never been tubing on the Platte - we usually go down the Manistee, as it is right near the family farm. I'm all over that area as often as I can manage to go home.

[Read2016 658]

The dunes and the beach were one of my deciding factors in moving forward with surgery... I'm at my highest weight ever and while it may seem low to many here it's hindering my mobility.... On my recent trip to Mexico it was difficult for me to get out of the beach chair and walking from the beach chair to the Water was exhausting... Any doubts about surgery were erased by the reality of the weight gets any worse going to the beach would no longer be an option... I love the beach, to me it's the best place on Earth... The Jersey shore is beautiful, sending you good vibes that next Summer your toes will be in the water!

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[fernandfj 469]

@@JoeVegas, thanks for your honesty and so eloquently stating what many of us have felt. You will be on those dunes next year. A year ago I felt that I was going to become immobile. Every step I took hurt. Getting up was a huge burden and sometimes I feared that I couldn't. I stopped going to the beach after I'd broken one too many beach chairs - and I live in the Caribbean! I had WLS ten months ago and I'm down 144 lbs. I can move now with no pain. The limits are gone, and they will be for you. I was 51 when I had my surgery and I had many of the same fears you did. But I stuck with the program and I have a new life. Good luck and we're here rooting for you!

[Briardlady 73]

I think we all have our "dunes". Mine was watching friends and family casually sit on the floor, the lawn, whatever. I knew if I tried that, I would never be able to get up, and it would be horribly embarrassing. Now I don't think twice about sitting on the floor, but give thanks each time I stand up. You will conquer your dunes, and so much more.

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[anewme2015 345]

This post is so sad and beautiful. I understand your struggle but let me assure you that post-surgery your life will change in ways you can't imagine. There'll come a time you'll look back at the cottage from the dunes and snap a pic from the other perspective.

[JoeVegas 59]

Wow. I didn't expect so many responses on a holiday !!!

Deep inside I think I hoped just one person might see it and comment something that might make me think I'm not totally crazy. I truly want to believe my "life will change". I'm going to work on accepting and looking forward to it happening. Thanks all, so much, for the encouraging words. I'll update this post when I get a surgery date. After all I won't be sleeping much ~~

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[cindyw41 761]

I was you last summer..sitting on the sidelines, not doing things because I knew I couldn't or was afraid I couldn't.. My surgery was in January..now this year I'm trying new things..I'm climbing the rocks, (haven't been to the beach yet) but I am definitely not sitting on the sidelines watching my family have fun. I knew this surgery would be life changing yet I'm still amazed at how much it truly has changed every aspect. Here's to summer of 17' and a lifetime of endless possibilities

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