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I'm scared of the lunch room at work :-(



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I've always hated being the biggest one...at work, at school. I feel like everyone watches me eat. The crowd waiting to see if the big girl is going to have seconds. I work in a huge docs office and they provide us free lunches like pizza and sandwiches every day. I'll usually grab something, cover my plate with a napkin & eat it at my desk or in my car. My gastric sleeve surgery is scheduled 06/09/16. My co-workers know that I'm having this surgery and one of my biggest fears is eating my bariatric friendly lunch at work . I am asking for any and all advice on how to deal with probing questions about my lunch food horror. I know they're going to ask me questions & try to look at what I'm eating. I'm already humiliated just thinking about it.

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Why should you be ashamed. You're making your life better with having surgery.

My surgery is next week and everyone knows about it at work. I have had questions from day one of telling people. I just feel that the stigma is that people don't really understand it.

If it bothers you, try to eat elsewhere or just educate them.

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And this is why I didn't tell any of my work friends (some of whom are very, very good friends) about my WLS.

I just did not want to have to get into it day after week after month.

What a good decision that was!

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Probably gonna be the other way around. They are all going to be embarrassed by the crappy food they are eating in comparison to the healthy stuff on your plate. Hold your head high. You're the one they will look up to and envy. ;)

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I just realized my prior post could have sounded unsympathetic. Did NOT mean for it to sound that way.

I bet in a month or so you will be feeling just fine about it. Suggestion -- don't get into explaining every little thing. Just say you're doing fine, that you have to go through a lot of phases (but don't explain 'em all). And say:

"Thanks for your support. You're very kind."

That way, you'll train 'em to support you. And be kind to you.

And if they bug you, eat at your desk anyway. ;)

Best to you!

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I like @@VSGAnn2014's suggestion of practicing a response.

A response I find myself frequently using when someone offers me food or tries to push food is:

"That looks delicious, but no thank you, I am fine with what I have." Or something similar.

I find that if I communicate that I choose not to eat something, rather than that I am restricting or turning my nose up at food, preop me tend to respond in a positive way.

"No, thank you." goes a long way.

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When someone rudely comments about how little I am eating.......I usually throw them off with a response like.....

"I'm a prepper and I am conserving and stockpiling the bulk of my food for later when Armageddon comes....."

They're not sure whether to laugh or walk away.... but it usually shuts them up.... ;)

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I think you should probably work on your food shame issues with therapy, now and after surgery.

You can pour your Protein shakes in tumbler, so people can't see they are Protein Shakes.

You can put your Protein on a bed of green veggies, even if you aren't eating the veggies it looks more "normal"

If you feel like people comment and think about how you eat now, you are going to be more self conscious after surgery.

You really need to address this or it is going to snowball into a huge issue and create new problems.

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This was my first post. Thank you guys so much for your responses. I no longer feel alone.

Sent from my SGH-M919 using the BariatricPal App

Welcome! We are a fairly helpful bunch (for the most part).

Best of luck with your surgery.

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You're going to do great. Just take your mini lunch in there and eat it with determination and pride.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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