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Emotional wreck...need to vent...



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I am pre op (revision from band to bypass) currently on liquid diet.....Found out there is huge family get together/special event at the end of the month in another state and I won't be able to go because I will be recovering after surgery... Someone suggested I move the surgery, but I have worked so hard to get everything done by this date, have everything set up and planned and if I move it I would have to wait another few months for the date then do all clearances again... I guess I feel guilty that I can go and be there for family and maybe also selfish that I am choosing to keep my surgery date and continue with my decision....

But knowing myself most i most likely would want to go that event being so overweight anyways because I am embarrassed and uncomfortable.....

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I had a similar problem but mine was for training conference for work. I was set to leave same day as my surgery.

I asked the dr office if I couldn't do it, when was the next opening. It was September. So I'd have to wait an additional four months.

Eehhh not doing that it's been six months since I started the program and now it's right around the corner.

I felt bad because my job already paid for my travel and hotel and classes but I wasn't going to put it off

In the end they got a refund

If you want to go then go. If you're post op a couple weeks go and just take it easy

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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I wouldn't postpone surgery. I think back to a few years ago when out of the blue I lost my job and my health insurance. You have gone through all the pre-op testing and are ready - apologize to your family and have the surgery as scheduled.

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I had a similar problem but mine was for training conference for work. I was set to leave same day as my surgery.

I asked the dr office if I couldn't do it, when was the next opening. It was September. So I'd have to wait an additional four months.

Eehhh not doing that it's been six months since I started the program and now it's right around the corner.

I felt bad because my job already paid for my travel and hotel and classes but I wasn't going to put it off

In the end they got a refund

If you want to go then go. If you're post op a couple weeks go and just take it easy

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Thank you...

I think I will just concentrate on myself this time, I will need to heal and learn my new. Stomach and way of eating. If I go to that event it will be tough, being so fresh after surgery, I will be still on puréed food and the party will be a feast, won't want to make it harder then it is...

I am also having gallbladder removed so I think it will take a while to heal up and get my energy back...

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I wouldn't postpone surgery. I think back to a few years ago when out of the blue I lost my job and my health insurance. You have gone through all the pre-op testing and are ready - apologize to your family and have the surgery as scheduled.

Thank you for posting that! I appreciate all the support everyone... Glad I can come here and talk to others, even if it's just venting...

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I was just in the same position- my father in law and his wife were coming to stay right after surgery. They are big drinkers and foodies and I knew I would still be on liquids (and not the kind they drink!). I thought about it for a half second and then "had an ancient aunt die in NJ". My husband used points and set me up right down the road on the beach in St. Augustine. It was bliss. It also was an easy decision because no one has ever been as critical of about my weight as my father in law. Hubby and I have been married 16 years, 2 awesome, smart kids... The only thing he cares about is my pants size. Nice huh? Anyway we are going on an Alaskan cruise with them at the end of the summer... I can't wait to see his face. Oh my, there was a vent for you, huh? Ok here is the deal- you need to focus on YOU. There will always be something that comes up. Take this opportunity and surgery date to get healthy. I so wish you the very best. :)

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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I was just in the same position- my father in law and his wife were coming to stay right after surgery. They are big drinkers and foodies and I knew I would still be on liquids (and not the kind they drink!). I thought about it for a half second and then "had an ancient aunt die in NJ". My husband used points and set me up right down the road on the beach in St. Augustine. It was bliss. It also was an easy decision because no one has ever been as critical of about my weight as my father in law. Hubby and I have been married 16 years, 2 awesome, smart kids... The only thing he cares about is my pants size. Nice huh? Anyway we are going on an Alaskan cruise with them at the end of the summer... I can't wait to see his face. Oh my, there was a vent for you, huh? Ok here is the deal- you need to focus on YOU. There will always be something that comes up. Take this opportunity and surgery date to get healthy. I so wish you the very best. :)

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Thank you... Wow that's a nice goal to work to, hope his jaw drops when he sees you!

I can relate... I have been overweight all my life, when I was single my mom would talk about me to others that I am such good daughter, intelligent, talented etc... And then the big BUT comes in and the whole conversation about me being so overweight begins... I think once I got married she kind of got off my back because it showed her someone does love me the way I am...

I am getting excited for this journey... Can't believe it's next week! I am sticking with my date... I've been waiting for this 2nd chance for a long time...

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Yey you!!! I'm so glad you are moving ahead with your surgery. As it gets closer remember, this website it is a goldmine of info. I'm a newbie but there are members here who have experience with everything. Seriously, no question is too big or too small- they have answers. I wish you the best of luck. It's going to be worth it, I promise!!

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You go girl!!! I had to post pis mine by a couple of weeks because I was scheduled to take a road trip a week post op and my surgeon said NO WAY. Looking back- even though I was recovering well one week post op I would have been miserable!!! I was driving from Chicago to Texas! Lol. Not a short trip by any means. Doc put it off til the week after I got back. I had already completed all but five days of my preop. He gave me the "green light" to enjoy my trip- food and all- and just do 5 days more when I got back. But I DID postpone mine- had $500 in hockey tickets and hotel rooms prepaid on my own dime. ( we went to St. Louis and then Dallas in 4 days to see my beloved Blackhawks play!!!! THAT I wasn't giving up!!!). A family gathering- that I'd give up for surgery any day.

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You go girl!!! I had to post pis mine by a couple of weeks because I was scheduled to take a road trip a week post op and my surgeon said NO WAY. Looking back- even though I was recovering well one week post op I would have been miserable!!! I was driving from Chicago to Texas! Lol. Not a short trip by any means. Doc put it off til the week after I got back. I had already completed all but five days of my preop. He gave me the "green light" to enjoy my trip- food and all- and just do 5 days more when I got back. But I DID postpone mine- had $500 in hockey tickets and hotel rooms prepaid on my own dime. ( we went to St. Louis and then Dallas in 4 days to see my beloved Blackhawks play!!!! THAT I wasn't giving up!!!). A family gathering- that I'd give up for surgery any day.

Go Blackhawks! Yup I don't blame you, sounds like a good fun roadtrip! Where did you have your surgery?

I feel better after reading all the posts and talking to all of you:) thank you for the support!

How are you doing now after the surgery?

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I'm AWESOME!!!! Tomorrow is my 6 week date!!! I'm down 30 lbs so far but MORE importantly, I feel great!!! Had bypass surgery. Best decision I've ever made. I'd been on high-high doses daily of prednisone for years! Talk about a moon face and apple belly! Lol.

My surgery was at Evanston Hospital in the North suburban Chicago area. Love my surgeon and support staff.

No problems at all either. Working out 5-6 times a week, walking daily, personal trainer 2 x a week. And I'm cleared to progress to a general diet (1/2 c food per meal) as tolerated.

And yes!!!! Go Hawks!!!! I miss them so much already!!!

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Wait. Are you in Illinois????

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Wait. Are you in Illinois????

Not too far from Chicago :)

I will be having mine at alexian brothers in Elk Grove

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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