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People who want privacy - what is or was your cover story?



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I'm pre-op, scheduled for surgery on 5/16, starting 2 week liquid diet tomorrow - Monday. I'm excited!

I'm a very private person and due to the people and culture around me, especially at work, I'm not telling that I'm having sleeve surgery. Or at least, I don't want to tell them. I'm going to have to say something about being out on leave for some time, but I don't want the judgement, critiques, comments, attention.

If you are private about your surgery...

What do you tell your supervisor and co-workers? Do you just take your vacation time and stay quiet?

How do you manage doing your liquids-only diet for 2 weeks, avoiding eating lunch out, etc? Do you just make excuses? If so, what?

When you get back after a week or two (or longer) - what's your story?

Have you been able to successfully keep your privacy about your surgery?

Thanks! :)

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Hernia surgery is always a good one. ;)

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Hernia surgery is always a good one. ;)

I actually do have a hiatal hernia. They have said they may or may not repair it, depending on what they see when they get in there. I really hope they do fix it, because I have GERD really badly and I'd love to get off of that med. :) That's my plan, make it all about the hernia (to explain being out for surgery).

But then, there is the rapid and ongoing significant weight loss following right after surgery, and the "weird eating". Any success stories of deflecting the attention and comments?

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I did tell my supervisor and my manager. They can't tell anyone, it's against the law for them to divulge anything.

I used FMLA and extended sick leave. I took a month off from work. HR the FMLA paperwork doesn't require that my doctor share why I was on medical leave, only that I was unable to work for the time period.

As for everyone else, I told them I "had a little something to take care of". I left it at that. I eat lunch at my desk anyway, that's a longstanding pattern. I don't owe people any explanations.

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I'm dieting. Again. Yes, that's right. Yet again.

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I saved all my sick time so at the time of surgery I will have 15 paid days off of sick time . Just going to say I had appendicitis or gall bladder emergency surgery . I work with a lot of yappers so I know they will talk no matter what I say . I tried to do it the right way and I requested off 2 weeks but it got denied so my surgery is 2 weeks after my request was .

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I went back and forth with what I was going to tell people but finally decided I was just going to tell the truth. I felt I had nothing to be ashamed of and was having the surgery to better my health. I was definitely nervous telling people but felt that generally they were very supportive of me, which is great. In the end I feel like you should do and say what makes you feel comfortable. I just knew for me it was going to be less stressful to tell the truth than have to keep lying or omitting things to everyone. Good luck with your journey!

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But then, there is the rapid and ongoing significant weight loss following right after surgery, and the "weird eating". Any success stories of deflecting the attention and comments?

complications from the hernia surgery......... hmmmmmm......seems that tangled web weaving is startin early......

Just tell 'em you adopted a tapeworm.... ;)

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But then, there is the rapid and ongoing significant weight loss following right after surgery, and the "weird eating". Any success stories of deflecting the attention and comments?

complications from the hernia surgery......... hmmmmmm......seems that tangled web weaving is startin early......

Just tell 'em you adopted a tapeworm.... ;)

LOL!!!! That should work. They'll never come within 10 yards of me again. ;)

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I saved all my sick time so at the time of surgery I will have 15 paid days off of sick time . Just going to say I had appendicitis or gall bladder emergency surgery . I work with a lot of yappers so I know they will talk no matter what I say . I tried to do it the right way and I requested off 2 weeks but it got denied so my surgery is 2 weeks after my request was .

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@@bellabeans, I understand the yappers. I work with a lot of them too, including the one that I share an office with. Actually, even my new supervisor gossips with this one that's very near me all of the time. The one that's very near me (we sit 5 feet apart) is also a very jealous one.

I hope that they don't put 2 and 2 together after they rejected your request for medical leave. Good luck! Please keep me posted. <3

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Hernia surgery is always a good one. ;)

That is exactly what I've told the few that I don't want to tell the details to! Great minds think alike!

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Hernia surgery is always a good one. ;)

I actually do have a hiatal hernia. They have said they may or may not repair it, depending on what they see when they get in there. I really hope they do fix it, because I have GERD really badly and I'd love to get off of that med. :) That's my plan, make it all about the hernia (to explain being out for surgery).

But then, there is the rapid and ongoing significant weight loss following right after surgery, and the "weird eating". Any success stories of deflecting the attention and comments?

Weird eating .............because your hernia is still healing......weight loss, well because you're being forced to eat "weird" .....blah blah blah..............you're eating less and working out more.....and it'll be the truth!

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I think it depends on the workplace . People can be really mean . Where i work there are a lot of young people and different nationalities That might not agree with my decision to have WLS . I'm not too sure if they would comment negative or positive vibes . I don't need any negativity or stress when I return . So therefore I'm not going to share it at work .

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I actually had surgery at the end of December to have some masses removed from my ovaries. When I went back to work after that surgery I had already lost some weight and people assumed I was lying about my ovaries. I ended up having a hernia so had to have that removed so I kept with the hernia story the whole time then when I went back to work this week from RNY and hernia repair, I actually had a girl even though she knew I was out for hernia ask me so how is eating do you throw up a lot, how is it going for you I had a friend who had that and she has a hard time eating. It threw me off so of course I was like what are you talking about and she said you know weight-loss surgery isn't that what you had? So even when you try to hide it some people are still gonna make their guesses and still gonna try to get it out of you, I told that girl that I was wondering what she was talking about, I played dumb. I lost a lot of weight before 2nd surgery so I guess people were still 2nd guessing my story from 1st surgery, I think it was insensitive of her to ask me like that but oh well. I'm just sticking with that I just have continued to watch what I eat I cut carbs sugar and pop out of my life and picked up exercise. Maybe someday I'll admit to people but I feel like it's my decision and everyone is so judgmental that I just don't want to deal with the negativity this is all about me and getting my health and enjoying the next 40 years of my life, it's my business how or what I did.

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I actually had surgery at the end of December to have some masses removed from my ovaries. When I went back to work after that surgery I had already lost some weight and people assumed I was lying about my ovaries. I ended up having a hernia so had to have that removed so I kept with the hernia story the whole time then when I went back to work this week from RNY and hernia repair, I actually had a girl even though she knew I was out for hernia ask me so how is eating do you throw up a lot, how is it going for you I had a friend who had that and she has a hard time eating. It threw me off so of course I was like what are you talking about and she said you know weight-loss surgery isn't that what you had? So even when you try to hide it some people are still gonna make their guesses and still gonna try to get it out of you, I told that girl that I was wondering what she was talking about, I played dumb. I lost a lot of weight before 2nd surgery so I guess people were still 2nd guessing my story from 1st surgery, I think it was insensitive of her to ask me like that but oh well. I'm just sticking with that I just have continued to watch what I eat I cut carbs sugar and pop out of my life and picked up exercise. Maybe someday I'll admit to people but I feel like it's my decision and everyone is so judgmental that I just don't want to deal with the negativity this is all about me and getting my health and enjoying the next 40 years of my life, it's my business how or what I did.

Sent from my KFSAWI using the BariatricPal App

@@numeby2017, I'm really sorry you had that kind of negative treatment at work, and that "entrapment" line of questions. I get it. We don't need the judgments and the stress from these gossipy hags at work.

The one that questioned you about everything.... I've got one who is exactly like that. I've already been drilled by this one over a thyroid growth a few months ago. They've already watched me drop 20 lbs through diet since I started this journey, and I've been treated weird by them over that slower loss already. Why does everyone have something to say about our weight? I used to go to lunch with them but I avoid it now.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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