Friends around you

[fling0228 7]

What are you do when the people around you are constantly either drinking or eating something that is easily tempting for someone in our position. My friends say that they're being very supportive of me but they still end up going out and drinking a lot of alcohol in front of me or eating sugary things or even to the point where they'll tell me that they warned me that this was a bad idea. Whenever I go to one outing with them its always there eating very bad fried food and there drinking lots of alcohol and I'm drinking Water and food that's good for me. Has anyone had issues adjusting to their friends lifestyles around them.

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[2goldengirl 2,076]

I hate to be mean, but this doesn't sound "supportive" to me. Your friends sound pretty immature, which in fact they may be.

That said, you're only in charge of you. They didn't make a life-changing decision to have surgery, you did. Did you expect them to change their eating and drinking habits because of your decision?

[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

Im sorry to say... but it is not your friends responsibility to change their eating habits around you.

You chose to improve your health and wellbeing by having surgery and no one has the right to judge you on that. Therefore you can not judge your friends on living the lifestyle they have chosen for themselves.

This surgery is for life! You will find yourself in many situations where there is food... many social occasions do revolve around food and we all must learn to cope and find a technique to deal with that.

I am not trying to be harsh.. but thats the reality.

Support is not where everyone in your life must change their lives to accommodate yours.

Support is where you can vent your frustration and have people listen and acknowledge and validate your feelings.

[KristenLe 5,980]

I agree. I am taking these steps to lose weight. My family and friends aren't and shouldn't have to change what they eat and drink or not eat/drink in front of me. I need to change my behaviors and get to a place mentally that food doesn't control me.

[fling0228 7]

You all are right. I guess I just feel like they don't understand. Whenever I'm having a down day and is really hard for me, they remind me that they said not to do this

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[Christinamo7 4,042]

How far out from surgery are you?

Right now it is nice, because I am not really tempted by much that I can't have. There have been a few times when I have had to ask my family to take their ______________ (chips, Cookies, ice cream) to the other room.

Later on, when I have less restriction and struggle more with cravings I will have to make a decision, do I stick with my plan, allow occasional treats or gain the weight back. That is a way ahead of me. I hope it will be one of the first two! but if it is #2 that will mean I am at or very near goal weight.

Look for what sort of healthy items you could choose when you are with them and they are having something you can't - suggest meeting places with options for everyone. Have something to drink that looks nice in your cup but doesn't have alcohol at this point.

[ocgirl15 667]

I love my friends and family and most are normal weight. "Normal weight" people DO over indulge in food and alcohol during social situations. At this point the sleeve is doing it job and I find the whole display kind of gross. But the company is outstanding. I don't want to left out so I just watch their gluttony.... And kind of feel sorry for them. Food addiction is very different than drug or alcohol addiction. Alcoholics and addicts CAN avoid their trigger substances. Ban alcohol from their homes and avoid bars and social situations with alcohol. We cannot do that with food. You have seen dry weddings but have you ever been to a wedding without food and a big cake? Or a Birthday party, Christmas or any other social situation. Unhealthy food is everywhere. As food addicts we are tormented because we MUST consume our trigger everyday to live. Smokers, addicts and alcoholics it is the opposite.... Not quite fair. We can't expect friends and family to stop living and enjoying social occasions because we can't indulge to the same extent. We need to learn to cope with our inner food demons. I think I am doing that and to lesser extent I can indulge. I do have small quantities if restaurant food especially if they are Protein. I had a couple wings and cocktail later in the evening last night. I had a great time with my friends and was satisfied. (FYI I am approved for moderate alcohol consumption).

[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

Fling... in reality they probably dont really understand... im sure they are trying to.. but its quite impossible to understand what it feels like post WLS unless you have actually gone through it.

I would try and get support from people who have actually had surgery.... hence why forums.. support groups etc exist.

We are all here to support each other.. give eachother advice and the occasional reality check... you have hundreds of people literally going through the same journey... utilise it!!

Chin up.... things will get easier with time. ????

[2goldengirl 2,076]

You all are right. I guess I just feel like they don't understand. Whenever I'm having a down day and is really hard for me, they remind me that they said not to do this

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And that's exactly what I was referring to when I said they didn't sound very supportive. Comments like that are just cruel and childish.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

What are you do when the people around you are constantly either drinking or eating something that is easily tempting for someone in our position. My friends say that they're being very supportive of me but they still end up going out and drinking a lot of alcohol in front of me or eating sugary things or even to the point where they'll tell me that they warned me that this was a bad idea. Whenever I go to one outing with them its always there eating very bad fried food and there drinking lots of alcohol and I'm drinking Water and food that's good for me. Has anyone had issues adjusting to their friends lifestyles around them.

Sent from my SM-N920V using the BariatricPal App

I hate to be mean, but this doesn't sound "supportive" to me. Your friends sound pretty immature, which in fact they may be.

I must say I disagree. You chose to change your life. You chose to have surgery. This is your new world and you must adjust to it. Why should they change their habits?

My family still eats what they want if they cook it. I still have chips and Cookies and cake and ice cream in the house because they don't have weight problems, I do. It's not up to them to blend into my new lifestyle, it's up to ME to make great decisions despite what is happening around me.

The world isn't going to change because you did. It shouldn't have to.