Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Bummed out by doc's lack of enthusiasm



Recommended Posts

So I was sleeved Feb. 8th and was actually really excited about my first month post-op visit. On my day of surgery I was 280 pounds and here I am a full one month later at 251 ( that pesky extra two pounds, was hoping for 249).

Any who in my mind, after being overweight my entire life I was thrilled at my 29 pound weight loss.

My surgeon comes in and doesn't even mention it. He has a student with him and the rn and he asks what have I been eating and if I have any questions. I was actually pretty hurt. No "way to go" or "keep up the good work." He asked what type of exercise I've been doing and I've been jogging on the beach for two miles every night and using resistance bands for toning. Which I was a couch potato before and thought that was pretty awesome too. I know that I have to be my own cheerleader but still... It made me a little sad, especially when he just nodded and then asked if I had a gym membership because I needed to work on toning..

So pretty bummed by his lackluster responses I asked him what should my weight loss be at this point and he says... You're on target, 2-3 pounds a week.

Um... That would put me at HALF of what I've lost. :(

Like I said I know I have to be happy for me but still a little encouragement would have been nice. And then I was mad because I couldn't reach for my trusty pals Pepsi and cheetos. And didn't eat anything the rest of the day.

Maybe he has never been fat, maybe I expected too much, maybe I'm spoiled.

Thoughts?

Edited by slimtrimshel

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Darn tootin' I have thoughts, but not about the doctor. Who knows why he wasn't enthusiastic? Maybe because he had someone in tow, maybe he was running late, maybe he had a headache. The reason doesn't matter.

You've had a fabulous month and should be tooting your own horn. Next time, take the new, higher number on your 29-pound thrill and wave it in his face. "Hey, Smith, I expect a little celebratory reaction from you! I'm not leaving until you acknowledge that I am an amazing work of art."

In your own words, of course. Let him know who you are. Stand up to be properly fêted.

Edited by WLSResources/ClothingExch

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some doctors/surgeons just don't engage with patients like that. I used to work for a group of surgeons and they were very competent and had decent bedside manners but they weren't what I'd call encouraging or engaging. I'd look to your PCP or a nurse for that kind of encouragement.

You're doing awesome! Keep up the good work!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nope, it's not you.

It's him.

:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Remember, you are doing this for yourself... no one else. You are doing fantastic.. Maybe the doctor is in a routine- and can't see fabulous results unless they bite him.. lol..


Remember, you are doing this for yourself... no one else. You are doing fantastic.. Maybe the doctor is in a routine- and can't see fabulous results unless they bite him.. lol..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'll say it again----surgeons do their best work when their patients are "asleep".

They are a strange breed--completely different from all other specialties.

Their bedside manner usually is nonexistent and their social skill even worse.

Oh, there are some who can put the effort forth to be cordial, but for the most part they are aloof and cold.

Maybe it's because of the "I have your life in my hands", mentation, or "I can't allow myself to get to really know you as a person, because you might die under my scalpel and then I would feel bad.

I was an administrator for a group of physicians and surgeons and know from first hand experience that surgeons are just -------different.

I would suggest that every specialty surgical group: orthopedic, bariatrics, neurology, etc. should consist of not only a surgeon and supporting staff, but also a PCP who actually sees the patients before and after surgery. Leave the surgery and the surgery alone to the surgeons.

We all have are areas of expertise. Unfortunately being cordial is generally not anywhere within a surgeon's wheelhouse.

You know you have done marvelously well. I would have brought my success to him when he did not remark upon it. You've earned his recognition. --through some damn hard work!

That been said, Congrats! We, here know how far you've come and the difficult road it was. You can always come here and "brag or bitch". We understand and can appreciate either and both!

Great job, my friend! Great Job! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know that must have been dissapointing - sometimes - just like the rest of us they are having a bad day - or a bad day at home, or a headache

you are doing well, quite ahead of schedule, keep it up!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×