Desires vs Fears

[iamOpalicious 53]

I wish I had considered doing this earlier and still haven't decided BUT (not that its over for me) on the edge of 44, with a 9 year old daughter as a single mom, I doubt that with me running around with my child that I can be successful and this in a timely fashion without putting Her through a lot. I do intend to work out and eat right but the jump start I need won't come until she's at least 14. I don't have the support to have time for myself and I do a lot of activity with her but I never get a "good" work out. We are always together and I love that but I am losing myself. I have high blood pressure and am a single mom. In my head and heart I am constantly annoyed, depressed, stressed and my self esteem is suffering. By the grace of God, I am raising a beautiful, confident, intelligent, fearlessly positive, optimistic little girl who I want to be my best for (I am tearing up just thinking about her). I love being a mom! She is 5'4" and 124 pounds with a healthy appetite. Despite my struggles, I am having positive talk with her about health and taking care of our bodies and try not to eat junk and try to model self control and minimize over indulgence around her. Her dad in the last two years at 46 is diabetic with kidney failure and us legally blind. My mom is 78, I have no sisters but wonderful best friends that I trust with my life but I worry about my daughters fate with the risk of this surgery. I am 5'7" 250 but have been 310 at my highest. In my 43 years, I have lost and gain over 300lbs. I am currently up 50lbs and climbing. I just can't get a grip between my aging mom and my florishing daughter and my ambitions and struggles. im currently unemployed and getting Medicade hoping they will pay for it because I need this and know I have what it takes to keep it all in control if I can just get help regaining it. I'm recently gotten approved for Medicaid and am praying I can get approved and that I don't lose courage.

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

Hi @

I've just read your post a couple of times and I mean no disrespect when I say the following...

I'm not sure what the correct reply is...

What is it you're looking for?

Are you looking for advice?

Encouragement?

Information?

Please don't interpret my words as anything but supportive...

If I didn't "care", I'd not have taken the time to reply...

There's a wealth of knowledge, information and support contained within these forums..

So I hope you're able to find what it is you need...

All the best to you...

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I wish I had considered doing this earlier and still haven't decided BUT (not that its over for me) on the edge of 44, with a 9 year old daughter as a single mom, I doubt that with me running around with my child that I can be successful and this in a timely fashion without putting Her through a lot. I do intend to work out and eat right but the jump start I need won't come until she's at least 14. I don't have the support to have time for myself and I do a lot of activity with her but I never get a "good" work out. We are always together and I love that but I am losing myself. I have high blood pressure and am a single mom. In my head and heart I am constantly annoyed, depressed, stressed and my self esteem is suffering. By the grace of God, I am raising a beautiful, confident, intelligent, fearlessly positive, optimistic little girl who I want to be my best for (I am tearing up just thinking about her). I love being a mom! She is 5'4" and 124 pounds with a healthy appetite. Despite my struggles, I am having positive talk with her about health and taking care of our bodies and try not to eat junk and try to model self control and minimize over indulgence around her. Her dad in the last two years at 46 is diabetic with kidney failure and us legally blind. My mom is 78, I have no sisters but wonderful best friends that I trust with my life but I worry about my daughters fate with the risk of this surgery. I am 5'7" 250 but have been 310 at my highest. In my 43 years, I have lost and gain over 300lbs. I am currently up 50lbs and climbing. I just can't get a grip between my aging mom and my florishing daughter and my ambitions and struggles. im currently unemployed and getting Medicade hoping they will pay for it because I need this and know I have what it takes to keep it all in control if I can just get help regaining it. I'm recently gotten approved for Medicaid and am praying I can get approved and that I don't lose courage.

Welcome, @orelonsmom.

It sounds like even though you haven't decided for sure whether you want the surgery that you are really hoping that it is covered by your insurance.

That sounds like a good indication that this may be the right thing for you.

Until you know for sure, learn as much as you can and ask lots if questions.

In the meantime, you might want to consider finding one or two healthy habits to work on. These are some things that can help you prepare for surgery:

Are you drinking enough Water? If not, aim for increasing your Water consumption to 64 oz a day?

Do you take Vitamins regularly? If not, work on taking a daily Multivitamin and an extra D3 at the very least.

Do you exercise regularly? See if you can find a way to exercise more and aim for 60 minutes a day.

Do you weigh, measure and track your food?

It sounds like you have some great reasons to keep you motivated.

Best of luck with your journey and keep us posted on how you are doing.

[iamOpalicious 53]

Hi @

I've just read your post a couple of times and I mean no disrespect when I say the following...

I'm not sure what the correct reply is...

What is it you're looking for?

Are you looking for advice?

Encouragement?

Information?

Please don't interpret my words as anything but supportive...

If I didn't "care", I'd not have taken the time to reply...

There's a wealth of knowledge, information and support contained within these forums..

So I hope you're able to find what it is you need...

All the best to you...

Yeah, no I guess I'm just excited to have someplace to vent! Its just everything that goes on in my mind as I try to build up the courage to move forward now that I don't have to worry about the means. Thanks for trying to figure it out!????

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

Hahahaha...

You're welcome...

And welcome!!!

[iamOpalicious 53]

I wish I had considered doing this earlier and still haven't decided BUT (not that its over for me) on the edge of 44, with a 9 year old daughter as a single mom, I doubt that with me running around with my child that I can be successful and this in a timely fashion without putting Her through a lot. I do intend to work out and eat right but the jump start I need won't come until she's at least 14. I don't have the support to have time for myself and I do a lot of activity with her but I never get a "good" work out. We are always together and I love that but I am losing myself. I have high blood pressure and am a single mom. In my head and heart I am constantly annoyed, depressed, stressed and my self esteem is suffering. By the grace of God, I am raising a beautiful, confident, intelligent, fearlessly positive, optimistic little girl who I want to be my best for (I am tearing up just thinking about her). I love being a mom! She is 5'4" and 124 pounds with a healthy appetite. Despite my struggles, I am having positive talk with her about health and taking care of our bodies and try not to eat junk and try to model self control and minimize over indulgence around her. Her dad in the last two years at 46 is diabetic with kidney failure and us legally blind. My mom is 78, I have no sisters but wonderful best friends that I trust with my life but I worry about my daughters fate with the risk of this surgery. I am 5'7" 250 but have been 310 at my highest. In my 43 years, I have lost and gain over 300lbs. I am currently up 50lbs and climbing. I just can't get a grip between my aging mom and my florishing daughter and my ambitions and struggles. im currently unemployed and getting Medicade hoping they will pay for it because I need this and know I have what it takes to keep it all in control if I can just get help regaining it. I'm recently gotten approved for Medicaid and am praying I can get approved and that I don't lose courage.

Welcome, @orelonsmom.

It sounds like even though you haven't decided for sure whether you want the surgery that you are really hoping that it is covered by your insurance.

That sounds like a good indication that this may be the right thing for you.

Until you know for sure, learn as much as you can and ask lots if questions.

In the meantime, you might want to consider finding one or two healthy habits to work on. These are some things that can help you prepare for surgery:

Are you drinking enough Water? If not, aim for increasing your Water consumption to 64 oz a day?

Do you take Vitamins regularly? If not, work on taking a daily Multivitamin and an extra D3 at the very least.

Do you exercise regularly? See if you can find a way to exercise more and aim for 60 minutes a day.

Do you weigh, measure and track your food?

It sounds like you have some great reasons to keep you motivated.

Best of luck with your journey and keep us posted on how you are doing.

Hi, my water intake is probably my biggest challenge! Ironically, my Dr prescribed 5000 mu of Vitamin D & i recently started taking Vitamins. I've been chewing food more completely, based on what I've been reading. But my post was really self talk trying to lay it all out. My bariatrics center has done awesome videos that although overall thought of surgery is scary, I feel better about actually seeing what it will be like. But thanks and once I go to my first appointment and get a timeliness, im sure my posts will be more defined ????