Well, I finally told my fiancee my decision...

[wendy645 1]

Ok so he's techincally not my fiancee but close enough after 9½ years together and the intention to get married eventually.

Anyway, I was really hesitant because the last time I told him I was considering WLS he freaked out and got very upset with me. But after years of consideration (and gaining weight :phanvan) I came to the decision I want to be banded, and I told him last night.

Me: "Hey hon?"

Him: "What's up, sweets?"

Me: "Umm... I was thinkingof something that's probably a long shot and maybe that's why I'm thinking of it, but..." (pause)

Him: (raising an eyebrow like get to the point already) "Uh huh?"

Me: "I want to see if my insurance will cover a Lap-Band."

.

.

.

Him: "A lap-dance? Why would your insurance..."

(We both start cracking up)

Him: "Well, it's worth looking in to. I love you."

Then we talked about how I didn't want to tell anyone and he was supportive of that, too. As far as I'm concerned, it's him, my mom, and my best friend. That's all that need to know. I'm going to do a board search to see what others have said. I don't want to be untruthful, but I also don't want to share it with anyone. Not now. Maybe later.

I cried myself to sleep... good tears... just amazed at how much he's supporting me and how great he is. :kiss2: Especially given his reaction last time. But then again, I was looking into GB last time, and weighed 60 lbs less than I do now.

So... just wanted to share. I know some people have had horrible reactions when they tell people, like one lady's (doddie?) sister cutting off all ties and communication with her... I feel very blessed right now.

[crazyace 0]

Ok so he's techincally not my fiancee but close enough after 9½ years together and the intention to get married eventually.

Anyway, I was really hesitant because the last time I told him I was considering WLS he freaked out and got very upset with me. But after years of consideration (and gaining weight :phanvan) I came to the decision I want to be banded, and I told him last night.

Me: "Hey hon?"

Him: "What's up, sweets?"

Me: "Umm... I was thinkingof something that's probably a long shot and maybe that's why I'm thinking of it, but..." (pause)

Him: (raising an eyebrow like get to the point already) "Uh huh?"

Me: "I want to see if my insurance will cover a Lap-Band."

.

.

.

Him: "A lap-dance? Why would your insurance..."

(We both start cracking up)

Him: "Well, it's worth looking in to. I love you."

Then we talked about how I didn't want to tell anyone and he was supportive of that, too. As far as I'm concerned, it's him, my mom, and my best friend. That's all that need to know. I'm going to do a board search to see what others have said. I don't want to be untruthful, but I also don't want to share it with anyone. Not now. Maybe later.

I cried myself to sleep... good tears... just amazed at how much he's supporting me and how great he is. :kiss2: Especially given his reaction last time. But then again, I was looking into GB last time, and weighed 60 lbs less than I do now.

So... just wanted to share. I know some people have had horrible reactions when they tell people, like one lady's (doddie?) sister cutting off all ties and communication with her... I feel very blessed right now.

Wow that is great---I just got approved by my insurance today--i am having the surgery on August 13---I have only told my boyfriend (of 10 years so basically my husband), my mom, my brother and my best friend. I think is is a good idea not to tell everyone in your life, my doctor told me not to tell people that it can make it harder. Most of my friends if not all of them are thin--so they have no idea what i am going through with my weight.

Also I think that this is a very personal thing to do--and very hard emotionally-so you need to be ok with it before you have every one you know giving advise and judging.

At some point everyone I know will know about it but on my terms. I am telling people that i am having my hernia repaired---which is not lie just not the whole truth.

After the surgery ---i will just tell people I am on a diet---they have seen me be on one many times so being in social situations and not eating much shouldn't be a problem--

Maybe in a year or two i will tell poeple the truth---once i am close to my goal and feeling very secure with the band ---i doubt anyone will feel hurt by not knowing--and if they do they will just have to get over it---i need to do this for me and only me. It is time to be very selfish with my life and my time---it is for my health and my friends will under stand that.

My boyfreind was a little freaked out by the idea of me having surgery just in general---and he is worried about me---but I just told him that I am 312lbs now at 35 years old---I don't want to be 40 and 400lbs --50 and 500lbs etc.

good luck--i am excited right now--i hope you get approved by your health insurance--i did today!---:clap2::whoo:

[wendy645 1]

crazyace, I'm so happy for you!! I hope hope hope my insurance will approve me but I've seen the exclusion in the handbook, so I'm prepared for a denial. But I intend to appeal until I'm blue in the face!

How long did an approval take you?

[crazyace 0]

crazyace, I'm so happy for you!! I hope hope hope my insurance will approve me but I've seen the exclusion in the handbook, so I'm prepared for a denial. But I intend to appeal until I'm blue in the face!

How long did an approval take you?

It was very quick for me --but they told me my health insurance is like the quickest and easiest-like the magic bullet--I am in NYC and I have Oxford Freedom---it took 2 weeks and that was all--they approved without any extra work from me.--i don't know what i would do if I had to fight.

[Iluvharleys 15]

How great he is that he is supporting you on this decision. I always say "Where there's a will, there's a way" so don't give up. I didn't tell many people either, and I am happy that I didn't. Good Luck to you!

[zgirl 0]

That's wonderful. I have not told anyone yet, not even my husband. I just pray everything goes well and I'll tell him afterwards. He did make the suggestion though and I did let him know that I am going to change my eating habits and well as start exercising more. I'm trying to wait until I start losing some weight.:whoo::bandit We'll see what happens. My date is 9/20.

[juliegeraci 7]

Very good. I am really happy for you. It is nice to have your significant other on your side.

[allaboutme 0]

I have decided to tell no one. My husband and I are the only ones that know. I have met some people at support group and of course they know. My mom is a food pusher. This would send her over the egde... My daughter lives with my mother,so I can't tell her. So, after it is over I will tell her. I have co-workers that as soon as i go on a diet, they go on one. If I start going to the gym, they go. So now I stop telling anyone anything. They will just have to figure out what I have done now. HaHa! It helps that I am having surgery on my vacation week, so no one need know. I'll go back with my band and no one will even know. August 29 th is my day!

Mary:bounce:

[Hip 0]

AWESOME!!!! Glad he is supporting you. I just got engaged the weekend before my Surdery(July31st). 10 years to the month of just being bf/gf. She is so happy and never even pushed for it. She was SHOCKED! She told everyone it feels different after 10 years. I feel it too. I feel more connected. All that good from a stupid stone. Good Luck in your journey.

[Liz1531 3]

Way to go! My hubby isn't very happy about this. He keeps calling it a cosmetic procedure. Whatever!!!! Anyhow, I am not telling anyone!!! I have already gotten such horrid reactions when I said I was just thinking about it. If people ask how I'm doing it, I will say "not eating much". That is technically the truth. At least I won't feel like a liar.

[wendy645 1]

Last night in an intimate moment, Chris told me he'd be glad when I had my Lap-Band. At first blush, I imagine people would think this was an insult, but it was because I'd finally be more confident and happy with myself, and closer to seeing myself as beautiful as he sees me, and be able to enjoy myself more in bed because of it. I didn't even think of it as an insult, and it led to a nice talk about the band between the two of us I love him more each day!

On another note, I really hope that my employer figures out our insurance situation soon, because Chris may be going to the Bahamas for work and I'd love to have some confidence when I visit him!

[Wendell Edwards 73]

Many people ask:

. "Should I tell my family and friends?"

It's up to you. In an ideal world, everyone would love you and support your decision to have life-saving surgery. But this is the REAL WORLD, where some people just can't keep themselves from making nasty, hurtful, ignorant and insensitive comments to people. If you don't want those comments, or are not strong enough to NOT CARE what other people think, DON'T TELL THEM!

[guinessgirl77 0]

MY boyfriend was super supportive. He has concerns and those are extremely valid. He's more concerned with the actual surgery than anything. He was dead set against RNY however, said that if that was going to be my choice he couldnt support it. As far as everyone else, I could care freaking less what they think. I've told people I am having it done. The worst they can say about me is "Oh look she got fat and regular diets didn't work so now she is doing this" and when the weight is gone, I REALLY wont care what they say. I'd much rather people talk about what I did to lose the weight instead of "Oh she is so fat"...

[wendy645 1]

Many people ask:

. "Should I tell my family and friends?"

It's up to you. In an ideal world, everyone would love you and support your decision to have life-saving surgery. But this is the REAL WORLD, where some people just can't keep themselves from making nasty, hurtful, ignorant and insensitive comments to people. If you don't want those comments, or are not strong enough to NOT CARE what other people think, DON'T TELL THEM!

Personally, I fall into the first part of that... just don't want the comments. I think I'm strong enough to handle them, I'd just rather not The number of people who know has grown to my mom's best friend and mom's therapist, but it's OK because I know they both support me, and neither is going to say anything. I think I should nip it in the bud with my mom, though. I understand she wants to share this major thing with two people she vents to, I just want to make sure she isn't telling everyone, she kind of has a tendency to do that.

I have to say, though, I was blown away by someone's comment they weren't telling their husband. I can't imagine NOT sharing something like this with your spouse/sig other. But, that's just me, I guess. No judgement, just a wide eye kinda like that guy LOL

[BlueEyedKitty 0]

I have talked to several people about it, a couple of co-workers and a couple of my closest friends. Everyone has been completely supportive and excited for me. I'm not discussing it with my family yet, mostly just because I don't need my mom freaking out about my going to Mexico. I'll tell her after the fact, I just don't want anyone's opinion about whether or not I should do this because I've already made my decision.