Struggling with forgiveness horse related

[Sharpie 3,306]

One more rule is They might get me once , maybe twice but not three times.. I have one best friend and when I had surgery she stayed over night in the room with me , stayed with me a few days after coming home. She sat with me while my husband was in intensive care and came to hospice with me and stayed when he was dying. I know what true friendship is and if I needed her for anything she would come. I try to be the friend to her as she is to me. If M is not that kind of friend you need to put her on your acquaintance list.

[Nurse_Lenora 903]

I have only read the first page or so of this thread but....

I know that sometimes people show you who they are. Listen when they do.....

Good luck sorting this all out....

[SassySenior 111]

Oh, this is right up my alley. At one point in my life, when I was in my 30s and 40s, I had a lot of "friends," I didn't really know the difference. However, my definition of a friend now is someone who really cares about me and will help me out if possible.

I also have no family members either, and when I was younger I had a large circle of acquaintances. Wrongly, I called many of them friends.

People often say you can tell who your real friends are when you really need them. In my 50s I became more needy because of a heart attack and cancer. Later I became immobile due to arthritis. Over time, only 2 people remained as my "friends." Sadly, I learned that neither of them really had my back when I needed a place to stay after being evicted.

Someone, once said to me, be careful you don't blow everyone off because you may find yourself with an empty platter. Consequently, what I did was accept in my heart that I never could trust that they had my back. Instead of eliminating them from my life, I decided to accept what they had to offer and expect nothing more. We get along really well, and both of them do nice things for me and help me out if it's convenient for them.

In my 20s or 30s, I would have blown them off because I am a giver and they're not. Neither are really takers, but both are selfish and self-centered. If my needs conflict with their life, then I am quickly put on a back burner.

i come from the Midwest where people become close friends easily. Midwesterners bond with each other because of mutual dependency during the cold and cruel winter. I live in Texas now, and while my friends will do just about anything for a relative, no matter how distant, non-relatives simply don't count.

One thing I don't do anymore, is accept people into my life if they're takers, haters, needy, angry or troubled. Life is say too short to be around unpleasant souls. Your friend wouldn't last more than one time with me.

When you push people like her out of your life, you leave room and the motivation to meet and make new friends.