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Not sure why these comments bother me



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yea the you dont look like yourself, I get a lot but I can completely see that. I look at pictures of me from a year ago and now and I dont recognize myself. there have been people Ive met before, lost touch, then met them again and they dont know I met them before...and I kept it that way lol, never brought up meeting them previously.

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You are beautiful and I think we need to help others along with our changes. Lipstick lady is right, a kind education so they know what dummies they are being is the way to go.

How about this one....I am single, at goal, had plastics, look pretty good for my age and have actually been told, more than once "You are so hot, I don't know why you aren't taken" while I treat it as a compliment and am gracious, what I really want to say is "no shortage of men who want to get me naked, but that isn't actually a relationship" only the actual words I want to say are much less pleasant than what I just typed. People generally mean well, but it's a little bit hurtful, it makes me feel like damaged goods on some level.

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I sent one of my sons a recent pic of me. He said "where did that come from?" I answered "My phone" He said "I thought it was a picture from when I was little." He is 29. I told him that he is now my favorite child.

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I sent one of my sons a recent pic of me. He said "where did that come from?" I answered "My phone" He said "I thought it was a picture from when I was little." He is 29. I told him that he is now my favorite child.

Aweeee that's so cute

He's my favourite now too!

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LOVE IT!

You are absolutely adorable.

Answer with a simple, "I'm sure you didn't mean to sound as rude (or offensive) as you just did." And then smile. I got all those comments, too. I truly believe most people are trying to sound supportive/complimentary and don't realize they really sound like f*ckwits. Educate them nicely.

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Shut these people down immediately as they make these stupid comments.

They are jealous.You are very attractive so the haters will hate.

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yea the you dont look like yourself, I get a lot but I can completely see that. I look at pictures of me from a year ago and now and I dont recognize myself. there have been people Ive met before, lost touch, then met them again and they dont know I met them before...and I kept it that way lol, never brought up meeting them previously.

You look amazing!

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I really believe comments like these are meant as compliments. Try to take them as such. It makes life easier. There really is no reason to take offense when none is intended. Even if it is intended, who cares what anyone says? You are doing this for yourself, not for them.

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You are absolutely adorable.

Answer with a simple, "I'm sure you didn't mean to sound as rude (or offensive) as you just did." And then smile. I got all those comments, too. I truly believe most people are trying to sound supportive/complimentary and don't realize they really sound like f*ckwits. Educate them nicely.

"F*ckwits" No, no, no...F*ckTARDs What a bunch of idiots. Geez, do people not know the cost of obesity to people's souls and to society and families. ...ok rant over, blood pressure returning to normal.

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@@her1981 - some people speak BEFORE they think...ignore their remarks :P

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People just don't think before they talk. Most of them are not trying to be hurtful..they just don't think.

You are awesome and you look fabulous. keep up the good work and try not to let insensitive people get to you!

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One of the big reasons my boss has not had WLS is that his wife does not want him to get it. Eating and drinking is a big part of their social life. Tailgating at pro-football games- they have season tickets. They are members at an Elk Club and he is on the board. Beer is his drink of choice and the surgeon he consulted never allows his patients to have carbonated beverages again.

The question about if you are trying was probably a way to hint at if you have been sick with cancer or something without coming out and asking directly.

I have been a bad WLS patient. I had a few sessions at my gym with a personal trainer in the spring. I ran into the trainer a few times since then and have not regularly been to the gym since June. I have lost 60 pounds and have changed my hair color. I saw the trainer last week when he was helping another client. He asked if I was done with a particular machine. He absolutely did not recognize me. I don't look like I did 6 months/60 pounds ago. In particular my face/neck is much thinner. I also think as we get thinner how we make eye contact and carry ourselves is different. I think we stop trying to not be noticed. So I can understand that momentary "I didn't recognize you."

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I get comments that I am getting too thin even though my BMI is still over 30. When I tell them I am still trying to lose I get, "You better not lose too much more," or "I hope you're not planning on losing any more weight!" Drives me nuts. The comments about your relationship with your husband are in poor taste. I agree. I have had people say they don't recognize me and while I think they do recognize me, I think it's their way of saying I look considerably different.

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All of the above. And once more: you look beautiful!

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      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
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    • Doughgurl

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      · 2 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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