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Help with anger issues



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My family really opened up yesterday about how rough the transition since surgery has been for them. Bottom line, the last few months I have been a royal pain in the butt to live with. I seem to be permanently seething. I don't blow up, I just seem to hate everything happening and never am happy with anything. My responses are sharp and I seem to have completely lost my sense of humor. Worst of all, I didn't really see it. But when my wife and son laid things out by chapter and verse, it was pretty clear. It also turns out that all my friends have been asking my wife about my irritability. I know that many speak about the excess testosterone form the fat melt off and its effects, but how do you deal with it? I love my family dearly, and I know that things must have gotten really bad for them to raise the issue. I am making an appointment with a therapist to discuss this, but any tips on what I could do from those who have passed through this would be very much appreciated!

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I have been very tired and short tempered too. I put it to a lack of Iron and generally poor sleep/low calories.

Chin up buddy. It's a hard road to walk. X

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I was very short tempered to the point no one wanted to be around me because I was a ticking time bond that just never exploded, but was always on the verge. I sat up a counseling appt also I go tonight. But since about the middle of December I have had to bite my lips sometimes so my responds don't come out right away. I am trying to take the time to think before I talk and think about what my hubby would say to the kids(2 emotional teenaged girls, so lots of hormones flying around our house????). I have told them if I walk away without saying anything it isn't because I don't love them it is because I love them enough to not speak at that moment. I also had my gallbladder removed a week ago, so between hormones flying and some pain the first 5 days I haven't really asked any long winded question and neither have they. It has been one bumpy roll coaster ride of emotions for sure!!!! Good Luck to you!!!

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I am 9 months out and had the fat melt and the bump in sex drive, but since my weight loss has plateaued, so have my cravings. As I look back, and can realize that I was and maybe still am a little 'bitchy', I make it a point to be aware of my mood. One of my co-workers finally confessed that I seem to antagonize one of my supervisors, the other night, he rolled his eyes, during what I would have thought as a discussion, but realize it was me...

This is the first year that weight loss isn't my resolution, this year I will try to be more cognizant of this behavior and just smile and nod more.

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I am 32 months post-op RNY surgery. Several months ago, my wife suggested that I try the essential oils (medicinal properties). So I did. It's a little like becoming New Age in my Old Age. But I haven't started wearing Hippy Beads around my neck yet.

So if you were New Age, you would realize that your body periodically needed cleansing. They would call it detoxification. Many of the hormones and toxins that were trapped in the fatty deposits in your body have been released as you lose weight and your body needs to eliminate and expel them, flush them out. Proper Water is important for efficient elimination of wastes and toxins. Sufficient Water stimulates the kidneys and liver, both organs of detoxification. Their definition of proper water is not tap water but rather filtered water or optimally distilled water. They would also say that some essential nutrients and minerals aid in the detoxification process, for example choline, molybdenum, sulfur. Physical activity accelerates the body's natural detoxification process. I guess to make a long story short, you might try visiting a health food store and tell them you would like to detoxify your body because you are experiencing significant weight loss. They will probably lead you to some concoction such as Sonne's No. 7 Detoxificant, buy it and try using this for a while and see if it helps. Also use distilled water for awhile and make sure you do your daily exercise.

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I agree with James,the Water is key. I found the nine months of very rapid weight loss to be very debilitating. It was worth it to lose so much weight, but honestly, those nine months (slowed down now) were a blur. The irritability for me came from being tired all the time, and it lifted immediately after the weight loss slowed. I know that I also have had to adjust to this new body and to the reality of not being super obese anymore. As one of my kids told me, "Dad, you think you are normal, but YOU ARE NOT!" This is a huge adjustment. Way to go on the therapist idea, I use several great men friends, but would not hesitate to use a therapist again as needed.

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My family really opened up yesterday about how rough the transition since surgery has been for them. Bottom line, the last few months I have been a royal pain in the butt to live with. I seem to be permanently seething. I don't blow up, I just seem to hate everything happening and never am happy with anything. My responses are sharp and I seem to have completely lost my sense of humor. Worst of all, I didn't really see it. But when my wife and son laid things out by chapter and verse, it was pretty clear. It also turns out that all my friends have been asking my wife about my irritability. I know that many speak about the excess testosterone form the fat melt off and its effects, but how do you deal with it? I love my family dearly, and I know that things must have gotten really bad for them to raise the issue. I am making an appointment with a therapist to discuss this, but any tips on what I could do from those who have passed through this would be very much appreciated!

You have lost a lot of weight in a very short period of time.... It is a lot on the body and mind...,therapy a great idea..,

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When I got my sleeve 24 months ago, I told my hubbyman that if I got mean, he should send me back to my family.

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I go to therapy and am being treated for mild depression/anxiety which I think is helping a great deal. My husband said that I am occasionally bitchy, but otherwise he said I haven't been that bad. I wonder if it's because of my meds.

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@@fernandfj - Might want to get your testosterone level checked. If you have been using T replacement you might want to talk to your doc about throttling back. The hormone dump is very real. One minute I'd be raging and then I would turn on "Pretty Women."

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@@OKCPirate I know the feeling, although my go to movie was the Proposal.... I agree on getting your hormone levels checked. Yes the hormone dump is real and high T has been known to cause 'roid rage!!!

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Thanks to everyone for your responses. I will talk to my DOC about getting my hormone levels checked ASAP and will up my Water intake (a detox won;t hurt either!). I am most hopeful that I will work through this and get back to balance! Thanks again for the advice and support!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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