Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Help with anger issues



Recommended Posts

My family really opened up yesterday about how rough the transition since surgery has been for them. Bottom line, the last few months I have been a royal pain in the butt to live with. I seem to be permanently seething. I don't blow up, I just seem to hate everything happening and never am happy with anything. My responses are sharp and I seem to have completely lost my sense of humor. Worst of all, I didn't really see it. But when my wife and son laid things out by chapter and verse, it was pretty clear. It also turns out that all my friends have been asking my wife about my irritability. I know that many speak about the excess testosterone form the fat melt off and its effects, but how do you deal with it? I love my family dearly, and I know that things must have gotten really bad for them to raise the issue. I am making an appointment with a therapist to discuss this, but any tips on what I could do from those who have passed through this would be very much appreciated!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was very short tempered to the point no one wanted to be around me because I was a ticking time bond that just never exploded, but was always on the verge. I sat up a counseling appt also I go tonight. But since about the middle of December I have had to bite my lips sometimes so my responds don't come out right away. I am trying to take the time to think before I talk and think about what my hubby would say to the kids(2 emotional teenaged girls, so lots of hormones flying around our house????). I have told them if I walk away without saying anything it isn't because I don't love them it is because I love them enough to not speak at that moment. I also had my gallbladder removed a week ago, so between hormones flying and some pain the first 5 days I haven't really asked any long winded question and neither have they. It has been one bumpy roll coaster ride of emotions for sure!!!! Good Luck to you!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am 9 months out and had the fat melt and the bump in sex drive, but since my weight loss has plateaued, so have my cravings. As I look back, and can realize that I was and maybe still am a little 'bitchy', I make it a point to be aware of my mood. One of my co-workers finally confessed that I seem to antagonize one of my supervisors, the other night, he rolled his eyes, during what I would have thought as a discussion, but realize it was me...

This is the first year that weight loss isn't my resolution, this year I will try to be more cognizant of this behavior and just smile and nod more.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am 32 months post-op RNY surgery. Several months ago, my wife suggested that I try the essential oils (medicinal properties). So I did. It's a little like becoming New Age in my Old Age. But I haven't started wearing Hippy Beads around my neck yet.

So if you were New Age, you would realize that your body periodically needed cleansing. They would call it detoxification. Many of the hormones and toxins that were trapped in the fatty deposits in your body have been released as you lose weight and your body needs to eliminate and expel them, flush them out. Proper Water is important for efficient elimination of wastes and toxins. Sufficient Water stimulates the kidneys and liver, both organs of detoxification. Their definition of proper water is not tap water but rather filtered water or optimally distilled water. They would also say that some essential nutrients and minerals aid in the detoxification process, for example choline, molybdenum, sulfur. Physical activity accelerates the body's natural detoxification process. I guess to make a long story short, you might try visiting a health food store and tell them you would like to detoxify your body because you are experiencing significant weight loss. They will probably lead you to some concoction such as Sonne's No. 7 Detoxificant, buy it and try using this for a while and see if it helps. Also use distilled water for awhile and make sure you do your daily exercise.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with James,the Water is key. I found the nine months of very rapid weight loss to be very debilitating. It was worth it to lose so much weight, but honestly, those nine months (slowed down now) were a blur. The irritability for me came from being tired all the time, and it lifted immediately after the weight loss slowed. I know that I also have had to adjust to this new body and to the reality of not being super obese anymore. As one of my kids told me, "Dad, you think you are normal, but YOU ARE NOT!" This is a huge adjustment. Way to go on the therapist idea, I use several great men friends, but would not hesitate to use a therapist again as needed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My family really opened up yesterday about how rough the transition since surgery has been for them. Bottom line, the last few months I have been a royal pain in the butt to live with. I seem to be permanently seething. I don't blow up, I just seem to hate everything happening and never am happy with anything. My responses are sharp and I seem to have completely lost my sense of humor. Worst of all, I didn't really see it. But when my wife and son laid things out by chapter and verse, it was pretty clear. It also turns out that all my friends have been asking my wife about my irritability. I know that many speak about the excess testosterone form the fat melt off and its effects, but how do you deal with it? I love my family dearly, and I know that things must have gotten really bad for them to raise the issue. I am making an appointment with a therapist to discuss this, but any tips on what I could do from those who have passed through this would be very much appreciated!

You have lost a lot of weight in a very short period of time.... It is a lot on the body and mind...,therapy a great idea..,

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I got my sleeve 24 months ago, I told my hubbyman that if I got mean, he should send me back to my family.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I go to therapy and am being treated for mild depression/anxiety which I think is helping a great deal. My husband said that I am occasionally bitchy, but otherwise he said I haven't been that bad. I wonder if it's because of my meds.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@fernandfj - Might want to get your testosterone level checked. If you have been using T replacement you might want to talk to your doc about throttling back. The hormone dump is very real. One minute I'd be raging and then I would turn on "Pretty Women."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@OKCPirate I know the feeling, although my go to movie was the Proposal.... I agree on getting your hormone levels checked. Yes the hormone dump is real and high T has been known to cause 'roid rage!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks to everyone for your responses. I will talk to my DOC about getting my hormone levels checked ASAP and will up my Water intake (a detox won;t hurt either!). I am most hopeful that I will work through this and get back to balance! Thanks again for the advice and support!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×