I'm still doubting myself and whether I should cancel my surgery, which is in 4 days.

My husband says I don't need it because i've gone from 224 to 186 on my own this year. Im 5'2".

I cried half the night last night because of some of the things he said. Like, "it's not like you can return it or sell it if it doesn't work"

"you're not excercising every day," "you have commitment issues," "you've done good so far, why not jut keep going?"

He is still willing to go with me to the hospital and stay until i'm in recovery. But he has no faith in me. Which makes me have little faith in myself.

I am so afraid, but instead of trying to make me feel better anf telling me it will all be ok... I get nothing.

And he is right, I do have commitment issues.

I don't know if i can exercise every single day. I lied to my doctor and said that I was. I've been so stressed about this surgery and sick for most of November that I hardly worked out at all.

Now I don't know if I can/should go through with it.

I almost hope that my cold doesn't go away so the surgery can get cancelled. I can't afford next years health deductible to be able to reschedule it. Then he won't feel like i'm holding it over his head. But i'll still feel like I failed at completing yet another thing.

My face is so stuffed up that I sort of feel drunk. I don't know what to even ask here.

Any comments are welcome.

(oh yeah, I have 2 kids, 8 & 3, and no family in this state, or any good friends to look to for support) Though the family would have the same mentality and my husband.

Thank you everyone for your support!

I had the surgery this afternoon and will be going home from the hospital tomorrow I hope. I feel SO relieved! (And drugged up like crazy).

just keep in mind the first week is the hardest, it gets easier after that. I had to keep telling myself the first week that the pain and the not eating was only temporary to get through it. youll never eat like you used to but you get used to it. so glad you decided to have the surgery, its so worth it, ive lost 35 lbs in 2 and a half months. ive still got 20 more and im sure ill get there. I hope you enjoy your sleeve.

Yayyyy!!!!!!!!!

SO glad you had the surgery!!!!!!

Yay for you that you went through with the surgery! What a great gift to yourself of better health! You will feel better and better every day. Congratulations.

Congratulations! Keep us posted on your recovery. We can be your support!

Congratulations! ! I am so happy you chose your own happiness!!

Just reading your story. Congratulations on going through with the operation. It is a huge deal for all of us but feeling unsupported by a loved one does make it that much harder.

I am 58 have 3 adult children and 3 grandchildren. My children support me but my husband doesn't really. We have been married 35years but he has always sabotaged every diet I have been on because he likes to win.. I know this sounds strange but he thinks if I loose weight and get fit I will be able to walk faster or even jog faster than him. That I will get the attention..to tell you the truth I think he is jealous.. He comes from a highly competitive family I dont...The thought of me loosing 12pounds or more in one month horrifies him because it's not him!

I have been to see a shrink because I wanted to make sure I was doing this op for me and not to annoy my husband.. Odd thinking isn't it..but honestly all our married life has been competitive from jobs and salaries etc.. Weight he has always won..nervous energy skinny..

I am having this operation not to annoy him but to prevent my joints getting so bad he has to push me around in a wheel chair or I have to use a mobile walker.

I could become diabetic and my Hashimotos could become uncontrollable. I am having this op for me and me alone He can either support me or get lost.. But I like you am determined to prove to myself and him that I can put myself first and put my health first.

As far as exercise goes I found swimming and bike riding so far don't hurt..post op not sure.

It's hard being married to an A hole isn't it! Just keep a sense of humour... Just to really p him off...lol...