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Dealing with family?



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I am currently pre-op(surgery scheduled for December 8th); my question is this-how do you deal with having to prepare and/constantly be around your family eating "regular" foods? I have 3 kids(a 17 year old girl, a 13 year old boy(aka bottomless pit), and an 11 year old boy, all of which are a normal weight/bmi) and a fiancé who can eat like no ones business, also a normal bmi. I obviously don't expect them to go on a bariatric diet with me, but how do you all deal with having to prepare "normal" meals and be around things that you clearly can't have, especially in the first month or so? Thanks!

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You will need some time to rest and recover from surgery. Perhaps your partner and older children can rotate food prep duties for the first month or so, which will help you both in your recovery and in getting past any residual desire for food.

That said, many people find that they are more grossed out by food immediately after surgery than tempted by it, so it may not be an issue for you at all.

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I was wondering this same thing. I'm scheduled December 11th. I haven't told my step-kids because I'm not sure what to actually say to them.

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@@tera1982 - once you pass the liquid or pureed stages you can still eat with your family. just smarter/differently like hamburgers...no bun. pizza? thin crust, small slice. spaghetti? veggie pasta/wheat Pasta. tacos? no shell.

this is a tool (sleeve) you can make it work or not use it. this is a way of life now, food is not what you think it was before. it's for nourishment. eat smart. quality food, not quantity.

you got this:D

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You just... DEAL. Your family didn't choose to have surgery, you did. You are going to have to spend the rest of your life in the "real world" so why not start right away?

I made my family dinner, and I made something I could eat.

Week one and two: They got dinner, I got broth.

Week three and four: They got dinner, I got full cream Soups.

Week five and six: They got dinner, and I ate the bits I could. Spaghetti sauce with cheese on Italian night, re-fried Beans and guacamole on taco night, etc.

Week seven on: They get dinner, I eat bits and pieces of it. I skip the Pasta and rice, I eat the Protein and veggies. They eat bread, I don't. I am 2.5 years out and I still only eat parts of what they eat even when I cook a full meal. It is what it is...

You'll get there!

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I'll be 4 months post-op on the 30th and it's still hard. It's not easy and you will be tempted but remind yourself that it will be worth it. I remember the day before surgery going to church and watching everyone eat pizza...one of my favorites. I literally wanted to cry.

I also have 3 kids (almost 16, 14 and 11, all boys) and a hubby who love to eat. I'm almost certain he has the biggest sweet tooth of anyone I know. I can't expect them to eat like I do. I hoping they're picking up on my healthier choices.

You can do it. Stay strong and focused. Think long term not temporarily!

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I'll be 4 months post-op on the 30th and it's still hard. It's not easy and you will be tempted but remind yourself that it will be worth it. I remember the day before surgery going to church and watching everyone eat pizza...one of my favorites. I literally wanted to cry.

I also have 3 kids (almost 16, 14 and 11, all boys) and a hubby who love to eat. I'm almost certain he has the biggest sweet tooth of anyone I know. I can't expect them to eat like I do. I hoping they're picking up on my healthier choices.

You can do it. Stay strong and focused. Think long term not temporarily!

ABSO-F'ING-LUTELY. I can go on long hikes, mud runs, get dressed up and look hot for their events, keep up, do whatever I want, shop wherever I want, wear whatever I want, and enjoy myself without feeling self conscious... Totally worth a few pieces of pizza, some cake or potato chips. food no longer leads my life. I DO.

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I have a hubby and a 16yo athletic son. I have prepared two weeks worth of Frozen Crockpot meals that they will begin to eat after the surgery. Each meal should last two days. When the meal runs all they have to do is get the next meal out of the freezer and follow the directions on the outside of the bag and cook it in the crockpot.The meals can be frozen up to 3 months. Just an idea.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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