Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

What did you tell people about your absence?



Recommended Posts

Please excuse if this is a stupid question, I am still working at getting my head around all of this. ???? And I am hoping someone has struggled with same.

Ok, I get that I can't untell anybody at work and I understand the wisdom of that stance. Truth is, I am generally very quiet at work and I don't talk to my larger work family about lots of personal business. My supervisor who is also a dear friend knows all about my plans and she agrees its nobody's business but mine.

I plan to say simply that I have changed my diet and increased activity to explain the wt loss. But, when people are out of work, it's always a topic of conversation - even if you don't want it to be. What are you doing while off, where did you go, etc. Compounded by the fact that I am rarely out of work. I plan to take about a week and 1/2 and in over ten years, I have never been out of work that long.

How have other people explained their absence without creating some big lie? ????

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have bladder issue so I said I was having bladder surgery to help with my continued pain. That also covered why I had to change my diet. I know a litte but not far fetched.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I work with mostly men....so if asked..."girlie stuff". Easy way to drop that subject. :) Good luck everyone!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Difficult too that we work around a lot of doctors and nurses, most in my little section are not, but there are lots of them around here!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told them I went to Mexico for surgery.

"What kind of surgery?"

It's called vertical sleeve gastrectomy where they remove 80% of your stomach. I did it to help me lose weight.

Easy answer....no big lie.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a hernia repair along with my sleeve surgery so I just told people at work that I had hernia surgery and left it at that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I plan on telling them. But I prefer to tell them afterwards.

I work in a hospital full of medical professionals who will figure it out lol. I have a few co-workers who I am SURE got it done but I don't ask because I know it's a taboo thing and quite frankly their medical history is none of my business.

Therefore your medical history is none of theirs. BUT people are not stupid. These surgeries are becoming a lot more common and whether you want to share or not they will figure it out. If you are uncomfortable with a big lie then tell the truth. You may be saving someone else's life ????

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I also took 10 days off. Just told people had vacation time to take so I didn't lies it at end of year and was just doing staycation to take care of things I usually don't have time for. I was "dieting" before surgery, and they still think I am, so nothing said about weight loss.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'll have to give the whole thing some thought and appreciate the feedback.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am considering having the gastric sleeve. Appointment is in two weeks. I have already thought about what I would say to friends and family. That I am having my gall bladder out as your diet has to change No fatty food for instance plus you do loose weight for this operation..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told my immediate team and close friends at work. I'm not ashamed of it, but I didn't want to hear the stories from medical experts of someone they know who died, or had complications etc. When I return, I'll be happy to share why I was out! I am taking 5 weeks off.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Who cares what anybody thinks. We all did the surgery to help us lose weight. I tell everyone and am amazed how many people have friends or relatives who have done it and have heard so many success stories. Its not something to be ashamed of. I am only 9 days post op and am loving it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@dietbelle be careful about telling that particular lie unless you have already had your gall bladder out. Many wls patients end up having their gall bladders out in the first year after surgery due to rapid weight loss. If that happens to you, you'll either have to pile another lie on top of the first, or come clean.

IMO (and this is for everyone, not just @@dietbelle) If you don't want to tell people exactly what you are doing, don't. If people ask why you were away from work, or you tell someone in advance, just say you are taking/took some personal time off. If they ask why or what for, just repeat "personal time off" and add emphasis to personal.

If they know you had surgery but you don't want to disclose what kind of surgery, say something like "gosh, that's really personal" or "I'm afraid I'd embarrass us both terribly if I went into the gory details" -- let them think you're getting anal fissures repaired or something like that.

For me, I never just say "exercise and eating less" when someone asks about weight loss. There is so much stigma around weight loss surgery, I want to try to remove some of that. All people know are third-hand horror stories. Furthermore, so many people believe that it should be possible just to diet away 100+ lbs. I don't want to feed into that misperception. And, I really don't care what people think about my medical choices, if they don't like it, they can step off.

All that said, I've told everyone who asked, and I only got one negative reaction. People may be more supportive and open-minded than you are anticipating. I also knew that if I fudged the truth and said I was losing weight just by eating less and exercising more, people would eventually figure it out and regard me as a dishonest person. My reputation and relationships are invaluable to me -- I don't care what people think about my medical choices, but I absolutely do care about what people think about my character. I don't want to ever be seen as sneaky or less than honest in any way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×