Goal setting - small attainable goals or one big one?

[Madmax68 227]

Originally, when I started this journey, my goal was to get ten pounds under my doctor's goal for me of 200 lbs. Right now I am sitting at 191 and so excited to have lost almost 123 lbs, more than 80 since my surgery 8 months ago.

For all intents and purposes I have met my goal. But I want to go so much farther and I think I can. Ideally, I would like to be smack dab in the middle of the 120-160 range, which the BMI chart tells me would put me in the healthy range. So 140 is my big hairy goal, the one I secretly wanted to attain when the doc told me I would likely always be obese, just less so.

My problem with working to that goal is a feeling of failure if I don't make it. I might get to 160 or 170 and be happy with my health and my looks and my size and decide to stop then. I haven't been that weight as an adult, so I really don't know. And the honeymoon period could be over any month.

I am thinking of setting ten pound goals for myself, celebrating the mini victories along the way and if I get to 140 great! If not, I have to remember I did meet (and hopefully surpass) my initial goal.

What was your thought process when you set your goal? What do you think of the small goals vs one big one?

Thanks!

[pixieredhead 79]

First of all congrats on your weight loss and surpassing your initial goal! love the concept of mini goals. My HW was 362 so my goal right now is to get under 200. While i don't have a specific number in mind for an ultimate goal weight, i really like the idea of losing in five to ten pound increments til i feel like this is the weight i want to be at. Plus there's way more victories to Celebrate throughout! I've never been thin so i have nothing to compare my body to, hence there's no particular number i want to settle on.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

My weight goal was 150 pounds. Seemed fine to me. BTW, I'm 5'5" tall and almost 70 years old. I hit that goal 8.5 months post-op.

And then the next 6 months I kept losing slowly. This morning I weighed 139.2 pounds. And that's while eating lots of food (1700 cals/day).

I'm not trying to lose weight anymore -- but the longer I'm normal-sized, the more active I'm getting -- walking more and faster, gardening more, and being generally more active. That difference in calories burned has made a surprising (to me) difference in how easy it has been to maintain my weight (actually, to lose an average of 2 pounds a month).

At my age, height and sturdy build I have NO desire to weigh 120 pounds. Yuck!

But I will say that 6 months ago I would have thought 139 pounds was going to be too light for me. And at times during the last 6 months I've thought I looked too skinny. I don't look too skinny to me anymore. Because, actually, I'm not. But my eyes / head / self-image have needed time to accustom to what "normal" really looks like after a lifetime of (mostly) being chubby, overweight, obese and eventually morbidly obese.

This is a strange trip.

[Dub 10,070]

This is a great point. It's something that I can only respond to from one perspective......my own. I'm not advising anyone or making suggestions. I'm simply not trained or equipped to do so. These are just my thoughts on the matter.

I think that goals should be achievable.

By this, I'm referring to the ultimate weight goal.

It has to be a weight that our medical experts say is achievable. It should be a weight that is healthy and will be maintainable. Some don't seem to set realistic goals.....some don't even set them at all (in terms of weight).

My goal is the weight that I want to live beneath.

It has been a normal weight for me before and one that I know I can achieve and live normally with. Normally means without binge eating junk food....proper meal composition and proper timing of food....plenty of rest....plenty of exercise.....living normally.

I really don't have incremental goals....because they simply aren't places I want to stop and hover at. They are just weights that are plotted along the way to my ultimate weight goal.

Sure....there are certain milestones that I'll take note of and be happy about.....but achieving them in no way is a reason to take it easy for a while and enjoy things at that weight. No....they are to be noted and pat myself on the back....but then to blow pass them and reach my ultimate weight goal.

My sleeve is a tool that is going to help me. My success isn't limited to the sleeve.....but it is a big tool for me. I have to take it.....my new way of eating......improvements with back and knee pains and push myself hard to get there. My success isn't contingent on one facet of my approach, but a combination built on using all my onboard resources to get me there.

Reaching my ultimate goal weight this first year is very important to me. Living below this goal weight for the remainder of my long (I hope) life is MOST important me.

I want to reach the goal.....but then put up very specific boundaries to live with. Examples: A 7 pound gain leads to immediate corrective action. If I'm unable to meet my cardio for that week....then I ensure that I'm measuring my calorie intake so I can stay at or below maintenance (example could be during the timeframe I'm having my shoulder repaired).......life at goal is LIFE and will come with very careful balance.

Right or wrong.......for me there is only the ultimate weight goal that I want to live below. Everything else along the way are simply fun milestones to be noted.

For far too long, I've plotted mini-campaigns to make it to a better weight. Birthdays have come and gone and I've not made it due to one reason or another. The culmination of these attempts are not failures....but, nuggets of wisdom that help me see better now how to attack next time. I had my sleeve 11 months (almost to the day) before my 48th birthday. I will reach this next birthday with the best gift to myself that I've ever "given" myself. Healthy, free from any medications, moving with lower pain.......and ready to pounce on opportunities to thrive and enjoy life.

Again....for me......there is only one goal.

Edited November 4, 2015 by Dub

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

It depends on your personality. For me setting small goals always works best. I try not to think past the next 10 -20 lbs. Once I hit that , I re-access and set the next goal. Big goals are always overwhelming to me. I think smaller goals offer nice benchmarks of positive reinforcement. If you are an all or nothing type then go for the big goals.

[Madmax68 227]

@@BLERDgirl I've always been an all or nothing person, but I think changing my thinking has helped me to be successful so far in this particular journey. On days I don't want to go swimming I tell myself "go for half an hour" Then I tell myself "You are already here, you might as well swim a kilometer" (that takes 40 minutes) then I think "well, you can put in another 20 minutes, no problem". Pretty soon my workout is done and I feel good about myself.

I think that's one of the reasons I am waivering. I like the idea of the great big goal, but will I work as hard towards it it it seems so far away?

[IncredibleShrinkingMan 437]

Well, if you think about it, it is kind of hard not to have a big one, first, because we all have dreams and hopes, second, because if we don't have a long-term goal, i.e., the result of years and years of efforts, on which all shorter-term projects can be predicated, it is impossible to plan the day-to-day baby steps. Of course, you can still make small, quick turnaround goals and assignments for yourself, but that seems a little disconnected from what is really one big integrated process which involves so much more than weight and looks. I guess if you start this way, see how you do, see what success you can achieve with the short-term goals, you can start to have clearer expectations as to what you will eventually end up with, and determine a sort of "safety," "target," and "reach" set of end numbers. I personally find it hard to do little quick-turn around things if I can't pinpoint exactly what I am working towards by doing them.

[Madmax68 227]

@ You are right. I started out with a big, hairy goal of losing 123 lbs and no longer being in the obese range. In the next day or two I will have reached that goal. another goal of fifty pounds seems manageable in comparison.

I just have such an extreme fear of failure. I've failed with weight loss programs so many times before and then loathed myself for it.

I have to remember this isn't a diet, I've changed my life, my attitude and thinking. I have an arsenal of tools to help me this time - the sleeve, a support network that includes you folks, friends and family and the bariatric program staff. I eat properly, exercise and am continuing to lose weight.

I'm thinking I'll set a goal of 140, then Celebrate every ten pounds as I get there.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I have a lot to lose, so I don't focus on the numbers for my goals. I am more about small goals related to things I can do: ie, drink a bottle of Water before lunch, swim at least 60 minutes of laps three times this week, take 2 Water aerobics classes this week, try one new crock pot recipe a week, knitting a scarf for each of my nieces and nephews before Christmas, etc.

I consider pounds lost as milestones along the way, and positive results, not something I "control".

For me, it helps to make SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Time Bound) goals. Something where I can make a very specific action item that I can put on my calendar to do is the best (ie, go to the 5:45 Aqua Insanity class at 5:45 on Monday).

Oops. Left of the big one -- Realistic.

[bikrchk 1,313]

I wasn't so much focused on reaching a number. Yeah, it was in the back of my head, but I'd NEVER been a "normal weight" so until I got close, I didn't really understand what made sense for a final maintenance zone anyway. Set goals that are SMART, (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound). It is not realistic to set a goal that says "I will weight xxx by xx-xx-xxxx", You have no control over a specific #. We've all stalled. Sometimes your body is gonna do what it's gonna do! What you DO have control of is the actions that will move you toward a better health. Set a goal to work out x # of minutes per week, to get at least xG of Protein per day, to journal your intake.. Do theses things and you'll get where you are going with a lot less guilt and stress!

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I'm with @@Inner Surfer Girl. My highest weight was 414. The top of the normal range for my height 5'2/5'3" is 160. That's a huge and intimidating number to look at. Over the past 13mths I have managed to lose 114lbs. I am tremendously pleased with that. There is no way I could have made it if I viewed it as I have 250lbs to lose give or take. Smaller goals are more attainable for me. My current goal is to be at the 125lbs loss mark by December 30th. Thinking past that would drive me nuts. This way I can tell myself that's my next goal, and plan what I need to do in terms of eating and exercise to make that happen.

[sleevemom88 217]

I found it best to do mini goals along the way but have one major goal for myself. Maybe not my end result goal, but just an extra special goal I thought was going to be impossible to get to. Let me list them, maybe it will make more sense that way.

I started at 334 so my first mini goal was 299 --- to see under 300

After 300 my goal was to be the weight I was when I married ---- 280

After 280 I wanted to see 249---- be under 250

After 250 was the weight I was when I met my husband --- 220

After 220 was to see ONEderland!!! (I am ONE pound away!!!!!!)

199 was my "ultimate goal" and my "big goal" when I started. I wanted so badly to see it, but thought I would never make it. Now that I am (almost) there I have decided I can start more goals. My doctor says 160-165 should be my ultimate goal.

Next mini goal ---- 185

Then --- 175

From there, its all bonus. Really, honestly, in my heart and soul anything below 199 is a bonus for me!! I havent been under 200 since probably middle school!

[livvsmum 2,370]

I did a combination of both. I set smaller milestone goals (ie. 10% lost, 20 pounds, 50 pounds, onederland, etc.) but I always had a larger goal in mind. I think if I only had the larger goal it would be easy to get discouraged. Reaching those smaller ones kept me motivated.

Then there is exercise. I had to set goals for that too. I always have to sign up for a race to keep me motivated to continue training.

I guess it just depends what kind of person you are and if you're pretty intrinsically motivated, or if you are more goal-orientated. I'm definitely goal-orientated. I really love the feeling you get from reaching a goal and passing it.

[rp1980 116]

@@sleevemom88, we think alike for our goal -setting lol!

I too, have both small goals and an overall goal. My overall goal is 175. But since I started at 325, I have/had "mile markers" to encourage me along this marathon.

299-under 300

263-weight I was when I got married

210-weight when I met my husband at age 19! (Hope to reach this by the new year)

199-onederland!

185-while I'd still be considered overweight, at 5'8" and my body type, I could be comfortable here.

175-Goal! Hope to reach by my one year surgiversary in April. It would mark 150 lbs lost.

My nutritionist told me to keep evaluating once I got under 200 lbs. To ask myself "How do I feel/look? Should I try to lose another 10 lbs?" Because I've never been under 200 lbs in my adult life, I really don't know what my body will be like at a certain weight, so my goal may change. She did say not to go under 165, though - which I'm fine with!

[sleevedinseptember 69]

This is a great topic and thanks OP for starting it. Before I had my surgery I really struggled with setting a goal for weight because I knew if I didn't reach that ultimate number I was going to shame myself and call myself a failure. And I dont want to do that. I no longer tune into the ugly voice inside my head. I also have an all or nothing personality but I was able to reconcile it with doing a mix of big goal and mini goals like others.

My first goal was just to change my eating habits 6- 8 weeks before surgery and then to actually have the surgery in the first place. Then I wanted to heal as well as possible without causing any issues. Then I wanted to resume drinking a lot of Water and getting Fiber into my diet. I am at this stage now and I am also taking on tying to develop a number of go to foods for each meal that I know i can have without issues or worrying about effects.

Interestingly, I have been observing my weight loss almost as if it isn't happening to me. There have already been fluctuations but generally the trend is downward. I feel good energy wise but I am more concerned about with shaping this aspect of my life in a way that feels active but comfortable, aware yet not obsessed and most of all healthy.

I do have a goal weight in mind - 165. My mini goals have been to get under 250 then to 225 then under 200 and then I'll see.