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Feeing like a failure



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I was sleeved Dec 31, 2014. Have only lost 30 lbs. Still gave same old cravings. Can eat plenty. Don't get full very fast. No will power. Wondering how or why I would have discipline after the sleeve if I didn't have it before the sleeve. Was counting on it to take away cravings, & to not be able to eat as much. I have no problems at all, but am not losing weight...depressed...any suggestions?

Edited by rrr123114

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Congratulations on losing 30 pounds. I don't know about you, but pre-surgery, my metabolism was so wrecked that losing any weight was a miracle.

As you are probably just now figuring out, the sleeve is not a manic surgery. It is a tool to use in conjunction with healthy eating and exercise to help us reach our goals. It doesn't work by itself.

Are you following your surgeon's plan?

Are you getting in all of your Protein and fluids every day?

Are you taking your Vitamins and supplements as directed?

Are you exercising?

Have you met with your NUT lately? What does he or she advise?

Now is a good time to take stock and go back to basics of you aren't happy with your progress.

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My personal experience is HOW I eat has a huge influence on my hunger, feeling of restriction and in general success.

I know not everyone is open to that idea - but going low carb can really help minimize hunger.

I was sleeved Dec 31, 2014. Have only lost 30 lbs. Still gave same old cravings. Can eat plenty. Don't get full very fast. No will power. Wondering how or why I would have discipline after the sleeve if I didn't have it before the sleeve. Was counting on it to take away cravings, & to not be able to eat as much. I have no problems at all, but am not losing weight...depressed...any suggestions?

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@@rrr123114

I hate the word failure. You got off track from working your plan. If you willing to get back on the horse. We will be cheering you on. You have lost 30 pounds. You can do this again. you deserve to get the most out of you weight loss surgery.

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Have you talked to your nutritionist/doctor?

Do you exercise?

Meet all your protein/fluid goals?

I can only speak from experience. You no longer have as much gherlin, the hunger hormone, however you still have head hunger and the ability to nibble on slider foods. If you do not combat those, yes you can gain. The old adage "it's a tool, not a magic wand" applies here.

@@CowgirlJane is right. What and how you eat matters as much as how much. I don't necessarily practice low carbs, but I try to eat clean, unprocessed carbs. What's a typical eating day for you?

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What has your exercise pattern been like? It is of co-equal importance as diet. Has your surgeon expressed any concern at your post-op visits or provided any insight into what's going on? That said, 30 lbs is not trivial...that's more than most of us could do with any permanence prior to surgery. Unless I'm missing something, it also doesn't seem like you've lost and regained at any point since surgery, which is a very good thing, so while you may still be slow through the journey, setbacks have not occurred, nor have their metabolism-damaging effects.

To lift your mood a bit, even though I don't think you should be thinking this quite yet, there is always the possibility of a re-sleeve or a conversion to bypass. But it is worth it to make sure there isn't something fundamentally wrong with the surgery or with your dietary approach before heading this way.

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I am going to have to disagree to a point. A resleeve or bypass is no more magical than a sleeve. If you don't follow the recommended program with the sleeve, getting another procedure doesn't solve anything.

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A re-sleeve or God forbid a bypass is definitely a LAST DITCH EFFORT...please do not even think that is an easier way out than just getting back up on your horse!!

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What actually is a "resleeve" and in what cases is it done?

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It is generally performed according to the usual technique for the laparoscopic sleeve gastrectomy that you first went thru although you should have more fundus from weight regain. So they would remove that again, staple along the suture line just as in the last procedure. I'm not a doctor this is just the very basic of what I have read and it at least alleviates the problems of malabsorption and others that the bypass could bring which I highly discourage. I also discourage this as it brings with it another surgery, more risks and more complications. Please go back to step one and try again! You will thank me later I promise. It's always Protein PROTEIN PROTEIN, and I am the first one to admit that I didn't get all mine in and I'm in a mess now!!!

Edited by nailsbyniki

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If your head isn't in the right place, there is no amount of sleeving, bypassing, banding, revising to bypass, or re sleeving that will do a damn bit of good. Period.

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I don't mean to offend you, but I don't think you can be a failure if you haven't even tried. It sounds like you expected the surgery to be a magic cure. You have to follow the plan. Are you tracking what you eat? Try using an app like MyFitnessPal. Are you going to support group meetings? It is not to late to start using your tool. I would go on a Liquid Protein diet reset and then start following your plan. You can do this!

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

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      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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