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Hey you, out of the dating pool



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After a couple of months on Match.com, I think I finally found the "one." The numbers are interesting:

I sent 149 emails via their site

I received 61 back

15 coffee dates

6 real dates

3 multiple dates

1 possible match that had to be aborted because of serious signs of mental illness

And finally She showed up and we have been going out for the last three weeks and it keeps getting better every time we go out.

I kept track of the numbers this time because I know it's easy to get discouraged and think, what's the point? I'm not saying this is easy. To tell you the truth, I'm busy, but I put dating time in my schedule. It was as important as exercise to me. It takes mental energy to think about how I was going to make an online approach. Some of my tactics worked, others didn't. But I tried different things. Eventually it all came together.

So what about the women who didn't make the cut? I don't leave ladies hanging. If I don't sense there is chemistry, I just let them know. I find they knew before I did. The women respect guys who don't leave them hanging. Five of the women I met online are now Facebook friends. They were nice people, or I would not have even reached out to them.

Bottom line dating is a numbers game. If you think about the odds against finding the right person by simple random chance outside of college, well those odds are very long. It is work, but it's work with benefits and fun if you do it right. Good luck in your search.

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I had very similar statistics when I dated online. Met my hubby on mySpace -- almost 10 years ago!

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@@OKCPirate That's great! I met my husband on eHarmony. We were married on 8/8/08. I had dated a handful from Match as well - and definitely knew pretty quickly if the chemistry wasn't there.

Keep enjoying your dates and keep us posted on how it goes!!

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@@ReneK - "Myspace" wow, I have not even heard that name for 10 years ;-) Congrats, and way to meet before that site became irrelivent

@@Mom26 - Indeed I will. I need to shift focus on growing a relationship in this forum. ;-)

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I can go even further back. I met my wife through AOL chat rooms! It wasn't a dating one though, it was one dealing with Central American history. Never happens when you expect it.

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Love hearing all your stories!!! Thanks for sharing!! My time will come for sure ????

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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