Maybe I'm an alcoholic?

[likeamazing 8]

Hello! I'm new. I'm preparing for VSG surgery, Im approved and just need to select my date.

If I could select tomorrow I would, I'm soooooo ready. Or at least I thought so.

I'm stalled, because my 40th birthday is 1 month away, and I have friends flying in from around the country to Celebrate, which complicates any liquid pre-op diet. I know I could manage the liquids, but it the no alcohol that gets my panties in a twist. I never realized until now how important wine is to me. It actually makes me a little sad, nervous and depressed to consider going months without a drink.

I don't drink everyday, and I don't drink alone, but I drink pretty often because I'm lonely and alcohol soothes that pain.

And then the holidays begin. I don't really care about missing out on food, but the social settings are going to be a real challenge. Maybe I should do my surgery in early January? But putting it off makes me I feel like I'm not really ready for the compromises and commitment it takes.

Does that mean I'm an alcoholic? Does that mean I'm not as ready as I think I am? Or am I just going through the first stage of grief?

Something that I never considered until now... And it's kinda flipped my world.

Love to know how sleevers with a love for drinking socially have fared?

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

"I don't drink everyday, and I don't drink alone, but I drink pretty often because I'm lonely and alcohol soothes that pain."

I don't have a love for drinking, my addiction is food, but I have loved an alcoholic. This statement alone sends up a major red flag.

I highly recommend you visit a local AA meeting. Even if it turns out you aren't an alcoholic you will learn a great deal. If you are, it can save your life.

[animallover1247 249]

I wouldn't schedule the surgery until you have gone through some counseling over the alcohol issue.I think drinking after surgery is a very,very slippery slope. One issue is your body doesn't process alcohol in the same way and you get drunk much quicker. I can't say if you are an addict now or not but if you start to drink after surgery, there is a huge likelihood you will become an addict based on the information you have given. I even discussed this same issue with my therapist...trading one addition for another. i don't drink at all now so the way for me to avoid not becoming an alcohol is to never pick up the first drink. However, you drink now and it sounds as if you still intend on drinking at some point after surgery.

Please get some counseling, discuss this with your surgeon... do SOMETHING to address this before surgery is scheduled. I wish you all the best!

[likeamazing 8]

Yes, I'll be talking to my therapist soon. The only sign pointing to alcoholism is my reluctance to just commit to moving forward without it, because I really do love the many varieties and flavored of wine. I take vacations to vineyards and attend tastings, and socially it's so much apart of who I am. I love the ambiance and the culture that surrounds wine drinking. I have moments when I'm tired and defeated and want a glass of wine, and this social life has been my family, and my crutch. I don't get drunk, almost never. Two glasses and I'm done, 90% of time.

My mother has worked in administration for an alcohol rehab hospital for 40 years, so I know about alcoholism and it's broad definition.

I'm just astonished that in all my pre-op reading, therapy sessions and mental preparation it never came up until I was given the green light and figured why I've yet to hit the gas petal.

[Babbs 14,680]

From what you're saying, I personally think you're going through the normal grieving process like we all do with food, except you're doing it with alcohol. I don't think you sound like an alcoholic at all.

Keep in mind, just like when we advise people about having "food funerals", you will be able to enjoy your wine in moderation down the road again, so don't think you won't. Get to your goal weight and implement your enjoyment of wine as part of your maintenance plan. In moderation, of course.

If you feel you want to get it out of your system, by all means postpone the surgery until you feel you're ready to make the life changes needed for this surgery to be successful.

[MeMe8264 34]

I'm with Babbs. You don't seem like an alcoholic to me at all. You are a person who loves the taste of wine. I am a person who loves the taste of beer.

I, too, had misgivings about giving up my tasty beer. So, I waited until after my Cancun vacation and had a goodbye beer celebration. Now, I'm on day three of my pre-op diet and I'm ok with not having a drop of beer for the next eight weeks. Afterwards, of course, will be only able to handle a little bit. But mostly I've made up my mind to give it up along with all of the other tastes (food) that I need to give up to lose weight and get healthy.

All in all, my advice is to wait until you're ready to say goodbye to wine. If that means waiting until afterNew Year's Eve, then so be it. You do what is right for you. It's your choice.

[newmebithebypass 713]

Honestly comming from the prospective of the daughter of two addicts you don't sound like an alcoholic you sound like someone who is afraid their social life will change because much of it is engrained with alcohol in the foreground

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@likeamazing I had the same concern. You will be able to enjoy it again. But be careful when you do. Your tollarance may change. But remember, this is the season of your life for getting your health back.

[pimmar 30]

I know what you are going through I love my wine as well but I know down the road I will have it again. I might not be able to drink as much but that's ok. I am a foodie and I think most of us are but I just like to think that I am not giving up food but just exchanging for smaller portions and opting for healthier options.

[Dub 9,922]

I really enjoy a social drink, too.

I just reached the point where I was ready to put everything else aside and do the surgery and commit to it.

You'll know when you reach that point.