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To Tell or Not To Tell...



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I book my surgery about one month ago lots of people know i want to get it done but not to many knows that i actually book the date. No one though i would get the $16 000. I haven't told my parents cause they are just going to put me down about it anyways. My dad told my husand one of my mom friend got it done 25 years ago and it didnt work for her. Everyone that i told too are so happy for me and they just hope i will be happy and healthy.

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I am also waiting for a date.......I've picked one, just waiting for the surgeon to comfirm. (Aug 24) As far as telling and not telling? I chose to reveal to certain people at different stages. I haven't told everyone as of yet and I have had mixed reviews.:rolleyes Most have been positive.

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I have decided to not really tell anyone about it for a while. The only people that know that I'm thinking about it is my Husband of course and my Mother. As far as I'm concerned that's all that needs to know.

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At this point, I'm not sharing with anyone but my husband. My parents would be worried, it would be stress on them that they don't need. They freaked out about me getting my wisdom teeth out a few years ago!

Maybe after I start really losing, I will have to say something but that is how I'm feeling right now.

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good for you ,i choose to keep mine a secret ,no need for any down talk. i am now going thru the paperwork

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"you can't un-tell" people keeps ringing in my head... I'm not sure I even want to tell our two (adult) kids... Maybe after things start going well and they're tripping over all the pounds I'll be dropping on the floor...

I am close with some people at work and not sure what I'll tell them other than I'm having "a repair" surgery... or just go "on vacation" for 2 weeks...

Guess I'll make it up as I go along.:)

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i want tell . will go on vacation from work. i plan to do a wonderful job,however no one need to monitor what i eat or advise if i need to stop..

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KtKt,

I was banded 6-19 and decided to tell all family and close friends. Everyone has been so supportive and helpful. The only thing I've noticed is that a "well intended" family member asked how I was doing and I said great and they said, "Oh I know you'll do wonderful, so and so had it done and she's lost 56 lbs in 2 months! I'm sure it's just going to fall off of you!!" I know it was meant as encouragement, but first of all that weight loss sounds hard to believe and it felt like pressure for me. I'm still not sorry I told, just wondering if others have had that same "comparison" thing to deal with. Just something to remember when making your decision. Good luck to you! It's the best thing I've ever done for myself.

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don't bother--the outside world (those people who I saw LAST year on the 4th of July) thought I just got a new haircut!! So much for casual aquaintences--I lost over 100 lbs!! Just shows that you are only the bride at your own wedding!! Those who care about you will know/ask--the others just forget about!!

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sweetviolet,

Wow! A new haircut?! They must have thought that was some great haircut girl!! 100lbs..congratulations!! I can't wait until I get my new hair-do oneday! LOL! Keep up the good work...Are you at goal now?

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Hello all, This subject hits close to home for me. When I first started looking in to getting this done, I said I was gonna tell my mom and boyfriend and my best friend only. I started telling more people as I went to more appointments. I feel very uncomfortable about my weight. I dont like going to get togethers for this reason. I did not want my boyfriend to tell his mom shes very out spoken. I knew I would hear all kind of sh*t from her. Well his dumb butt told her. She brought it up to me and I was shocked that she knew. I was like please dont tell know one else. She was like ok. Welllllllllllllll, today his brother came in from Texas. She calls me up and is like, you need to talk to Virginia(his brothers wife) she said that band is bad for you, blah blah blah, i was like i dont want to talk to her about it. She said well she lost 80lbs in a year. I was like well good for her. (only met her once) His mom said well you need to do more research on that thing its not gonna help ya. You just need to quit eating and get off your buttttt. uhhhhhhhhhhh, I was sooo mad. I just wanted to hang up on her. I wanted to say uhhh who came over for threee days in a row to clean your house before your company came in town, was it your skinny daughter in laws, uhhhhhhh no it was this fat one that needs to get off her butt. OOOOOOOOoh im just furious about this. So this is the reason I did not want no one to know. Everybody thinks just cause your fat you eat like a dozen eggs, a lb of bacon and a loaf of bread for Breakfast. UHHHH ok im done lol thanks for reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Thats my delema i dont even want to tell my parents who see me everyday incase i fail and then there is the issue of one of my sisters who has the biggest mouth my mother will feel the need to tell her and it will end up on the front page of the enquirer!!!!!! I also need support!!! so Im in a pickle. I have discussed it with my mom and husband and younger sister ive even told a couple of my friends what Im planning to do but i think when it comes to the time i might just keep it a secret. I to dont want to be judged after all im doing this for me and me only and do not need people watching my every move and I really believe that that will be the case. I really need to think long and hard and i suggest you do to cos as its already been said once you tell you cant untell and thats the hardest part. Good luck in what ever you choose to do!!:)

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I chose to tell very few people before my surgery and even then, it wasn't till the week of my surgery. I only told people who I knew would be positive and supportive. The people who I thought would be negative didn't find out till after. I had my surgery 6/27. I am already tired of is people asking me what I had to eat any time they call! I don't get that.

My new standard answer is going to be :FOOD!::confused:

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      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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